And I absolutely would have given racing another chance if I knew exactly how important it was to him that I go with him. I enjoyed being with him, that's why I went every single weekend during our first year of dating. But it was so boring and I just couldn't take it any more. He goes ALL THE FRICKIN' TIME!!!

I got bored because of crashes and they take forever to get going again and my butt hurts from the bleachers and it's just not fun for me. We had a deal that I would go to one race a season and I did that. He led me to believe that he was happy with that deal. Come to find out, not so much. If I could go back and change everything that was wrong with our M, I would, starting right here with this problem. And if he comes back, I'll give it another shot at going with him.

Our communication skills sucked.

That's the best part!



$3 cushion at Walmart


True enough.

Are you nuts? BTW activities can make you happy. I reach a state of bliss when I'm in the garden.

I saw g's garden when I was sneaking through your photos. It IS nice.

The crashes themselves are fun, it's just the aftermath of cleaning the track up and getting the cars back where they're supposed to be...trust me, it takes FOREVER.
And it's dirty and hot, usually and just icky.
Now, give me NASCAR and I'm a happy camper. This is something that we do enjoy together.

I agree with Kiwi, activities do make you happy. If they didn't make you happy, you wouldn't do them. And if you did do them and they didn't make you happy, why do them?

I think I make sense.

Stph, why do you think your H's #1 need is recreational companionship?

Explain.

I did in the previous few posts...the racing.

BTW Pio, my DD's b/f asked me on IM the other day if it was common for DD to sulk. He also said a trashy touristy knick knack was usually enough to lift the bottom lip.

I told him she could sulk for the Olympics.

It might just be something your DD will always do. You did good BTW.

And I know that he doesn't like doing things alone. He would rather shop with me, or whatever it is. He can't stand to be at the house by himself. He just needs to be doing something with somebody else.

Oh, sorry stph, you're right. And that's the thing that means the most to him in all the world? I find that hard to believe.

So how does the OW meet that need? Is she a racing freak?

I don't think she's a racing freak, but I have been told that she goes now because WH will be there.
Racing makes him the happiest out of everything in this world.
It always took priority over my needs or wants.

Ok, so it looks like that really is his top need. OW will meet that need as long as suits her. She won't be able to keep the pretence of interest up for very long if it really doesn't interest her.

So, he's said too little, too late. I guess he won't believe you suddenly have developed an interest in stock car racing. I can see that.

The thing is you complained about his passion. You said it was boring and the bleachers were too hard. Do you see how disappointed he was that you didn't share his passion? I know that all couples have their own interests that the other person finds impossible to get enthused about. My H's passion is music and playing the guitar. I like it but I'm not passionate about it. But I show an interest and listen to him about it (up to a point). I tease him about it. He teases me about my garden and my scrapbooking but he listens to me (up to a point).

The trick is to find something you BOTH enjoy doing.

So stph20.

KiwiJ and I both picked the same things from your posts. She just did it more eloquently.

So why not think about a hobby (sport) that involves speed? Just an idea.

SF??

j/k <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Jen we are NOT talking to Stef about SF. Ive spent 30 pages in this thread getting that idea out of her mind. Thanks.

S'ok BigK.

LMAO

I said that involves speed. Or is Rob like a rodeo cowboy - thinks 8 seconds is a good ride?

LMAO. Not at all.

I was JUST KIDDING.

I'm listening to Roy Orbison. I have no idea how this CD found it's way into our house. I think it may belong to DS's girlfriend.

The Big O is COOOOOOOL.

The only person in the world, that I have found, who sounds like the Big O is Chris Isaak. The Big O and Patsy Cline are almost inimitable. What voices!! What style!!