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KiwiJ #1691358 09/30/06 08:31 PM
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Oh, and thanks Todd. That means a lot to me.

KiwiJ #1691359 09/30/06 08:34 PM
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I had terrible fights with both Todd and Pio and things said then DID upset me.


What fights? I don't remember any fights <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Sorry for what I said about gemela getting her just desserts. It was mean and not true. I think I am the one getting my just desserts.

In case you hadn't noticed, I am depressing myself again. Gotta go.

nams #1691360 09/30/06 08:35 PM
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No I wasn't around then. I came looking around here a month or two ago when I realized I hadn't really dealt with the infidelity part involved in my D.

Why do you think you relapsed? Did you tell your H?

I can imagine what was said.


Formerly nam here since 07/31/03 coastal, CT
nams #1691361 09/30/06 08:36 PM
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Pio, you do sound a bit down. An understatement?


Formerly nam here since 07/31/03 coastal, CT
piojitos #1691362 09/30/06 08:37 PM
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You are NOT getting your just desserts. You have to have done something wrong to get just desserts. Stop depressing yourself. That's an order.

KiwiJ #1691363 09/30/06 08:41 PM
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Did you tell your H?

Oh, you REALLY weren't around were you? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Water under the bridge now, but no, I didn't. Someone from MB did. Someone who had my full name. I'm very pleased they did because, even though I wanted to, I didn't have the guts.

Our real, true recovery began then and I still thank the person who put their money where their mouth was.

KiwiJ #1691364 09/30/06 08:44 PM
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Well, I'm glad you're really in recovery. Honesty will do that.

That's one reason my M went down the drain, lack of honesty.


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nams #1691365 09/30/06 08:46 PM
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NOW it's time for a glass of wine, X-files then bed.


Formerly nam here since 07/31/03 coastal, CT
piojitos #1691366 09/30/06 08:46 PM
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KiwiJ,

I won't go into that as specifically as ToddAC. I take a more general view. Almost nobody is perfect. I use the word "almost" so as not to upset ToddAC. People make mistakes. I do all the time. But I believe that people should take responsibility for the actions, admit their mistakes and try to do better.

Take the opposite view - one strike and you're out. Take that to extremes and we should inpose capital punishment for every single crime. She shoplifted, he kited a check...kill em. Their no good. Okay that is extreme but the criminal justice system is vaguely based on the premise that people can learn from their mistakes. Just look at Australia - It was started by a bunch of English criminals given a second chance and look what they've ... okay bad example. Never mind.

ToddAC harps on remorse but it has value in that it shows that the WS is realigning his/herself with the views of the BS. It brings both back to a common belief system. It also give the BS some misplaced assurance that the infraction and ensuing pain to the BS will not be repeated.

Everybody deserves a second chance (or more). If I didn't believe that, I would just kill myself after my first mistake (which would have been a very long time ago). What I don't like is people who rationalize their mistakes - blame them on other people. We are responsible for our own actions. The woman who wins a million dollars suing McDonalds for spilling hot coffee on herself. Give me a break.

There are a lot of good people in the world who make bad choices. They accept those choices, they own them, they learn from them, try to mitigate the damage and go on.

The BS has clearly been violated. Acknowledgement of that on the part of the WS is helpful to healing.

I don't think I am making sense any more.

nams #1691367 09/30/06 08:46 PM
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Maybe you can find an Easy Bake Oven Todd. They don't get too hot. The recipes are probably fairly limited but it will cut down on the fire hazard.

My youngest son got an Easy Bake oven for Christmas one year. We baked a cake and everything. Speaking of baking a cake, I baked a birthday cake for my Mom when I was nine. From scratch. She cried then and every birthday for the rest of her life when she talked about it. Where the heck did they come from?

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I've only driven through Atlanta or flown in & out. I hear the traffic is a nightmare.

Traffic is awful and will only get worse before it can get better. People are still moving here from all over the country. As for the airport, the joke around here is that you have to go through the Atlanta airport to get to heaven. FYI, Atlanta is the busiest airport in the world.

nams #1691368 09/30/06 08:48 PM
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nams,

You sound like a great cook. Do you want to send me a care package? lol

nams #1691369 09/30/06 08:48 PM
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Pio, you do sound a bit down. An understatement?


WW will be back in 9 days. At this moment, I don't want her back. I am doing everything I can to find my happy thought. Yes I am down.

piojitos #1691370 09/30/06 08:51 PM
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Okay Pio,

Snap out of it. Let's talk about Snap-on tools, muscle cars and Hurst shifters. I had a GTO in 1968 that had a 4.11 rear end with heavy duty positraction, Hurst close ratio shifter, 400 CI engine with Rochester quadrajet. RRRRrrrrggggghhhh!

ToddAC #1691371 09/30/06 08:55 PM
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positraction


With what????? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I could always put up some song lyrics. That's always good for a laugh.

Oh, speaking of the Eagles, they are DD's b/f's favourites. DS isn't that keen on DD's b/f (too different to have any common ground whatsoever) and when I told him that, DS said "oh great, he even has the musical taste of a 52 year old woman."

KiwiJ #1691372 09/30/06 08:57 PM
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DD will probably be somewhere over the Atlantic right now.

I hope y'all make her welcome in the good ol' USA, y'hear.

ToddAC #1691373 09/30/06 09:08 PM
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Todd,
Loved the bday cake story...mostly I loved how you wondered where it came from...LOL...sounds like you entertain yourself quite well despite your solo state. Yes, there are women who have SF as #1 EN...I personally could live without it but maybe if there were love and passion it would be another story, who knows...I haven't stopped with WS b/c like I told him...it is meaningless SF...an exercise without any emotion or meaning...I don't even trust WH to use it as an expression of love since I trust nothing and am always looking for the ulterior motive...strangely enough it's always there...

Pio,
Snap out of it. You must be tired or lacking in challenges to occupy your thoughts. That is what happens to me...if I am mentally challenged I deal much better...if I perform brainless tasks all day I have way too much time to ponder all sorts of things. I am a master multitasker so it's like there is always a vacant brain cell or two hanging out annoying me b/c they wont stop thinking of WS issues or where he is, what he is doing, who he is with etc...it is like a subliminal mantra that haunts me. I can't imagine being in solitary...I would surely perish

Kiwi,
Hope I haven't offended you. My philosophy is that we are all human and have the potential to be on either side and some of us have been on both sides...

I do feel that when on the wayward side the thinking is seriously distorted. Did you feel that you were thinking clearly when you were in the peak of your WW days? Can you think clear and the reasons for certain behaviors are serving a different purpose? Did you rationalize with yourself? Did you get caught up in lies or did you just omit things that incriminated you?

If I am asking too much just tell me to stop the interrogation. Just figured you may be able to shed light on these topics. You said someone else informed Rob...had you been planning on telling him since you said you didn't have the guts or did you figure that it would all catch up with you at some point. How did Rob find out initially?

KiwiJ #1691374 09/30/06 09:23 PM
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You weren't around a few months ago, maybe you were I don't remember, but when I relapsed and renewed contact with the OM briefly, I had terrible fights with both Todd and Pio and things said then DID upset me. They were both SO disappointed in me it was very hard to take. They were also both fully justified in what they said to me then.

All I ever said is that I would want my WW to be honest and forthcoming with me. You were afraid of the consequences but your fear was unjustified.

KiwiJ #1691375 09/30/06 09:28 PM
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You are NOT getting your just desserts. You have to have done something wrong to get just desserts. Stop depressing yourself. That's an order.

Geez, hey somebody get out the whips and order me around, would you?

JK of course but it reminds me of a very funny true story.

ToddAC #1691376 09/30/06 09:43 PM
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Let's talk about Snap-on tools, muscle cars and Hurst shifters. I had a GTO in 1968 that had a 4.11 rear end with heavy duty positraction, Hurst close ratio shifter, 400 CI engine with Rochester quadrajet. RRRRrrrrggggghhhh!


Careful. You might upset stph20 if you talk too much about cars.

When you say positraction, do you mean limited slip differential?

KiwiJ #1691377 09/30/06 09:44 PM
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I hope y'all make her welcome in the good ol' USA, y'hear.


Right after we fingerprint her and do a retinal scan. I do hope she isn't carrying any fruit. Congress recently passed the "Hillary Swank" law for you people.

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