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One of my million things to do done. Two really if the beeping is what was driving the dog into hiding. hey, three! The fridge got cleaned.
Youngest son will be so pleased if the dog is back to her normal self. He was so upset & worried last night he was crying while lying in his bed. I did manage to convince him all this would work out. I just hope it really has.
So larousse, when do you see your BF next? Have you two talked of making this relationship less long distance & how that might be done?
Formerly nam
here since 07/31/03
coastal, CT
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And Melody, quit making fun of me with the little smiley faces. I can see your point and I understand it, it simply isn't the best course of action for me given my H's troubles and his personality. I can make this a good marriage, it was for 33 years and I have faith that it can be pretty dapq good again. I have every reason to want it to succeed. Three wonderful kids, 2 grand kids and it was my problem not his. There is no longer any type of emotional tie to OM, we are on our separate paths, but we still have to be friendly to one another. It was never love, it was always friendship, I just mistook it for love. More rationalizations ................ What is the best course of action for your HUSBAND? Does he get a say in this or is he just your PET?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I suspect this is Sarie. This is the same warped mentality that promotes lying and cheating.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I do not consider that the life I am living now is a lie in any way. FC, You are 'withholding' information from your S about HIS life! ...HE IS the one living a lie, and you are CHOOSING for him to do so. Give him the 'truth' and let HIM decide what HE wants to do about it!.... he will either choose to work with you, or not.... ...and what you are afraid of is that he may choose otherwise.... and THAT possible consequence to YOUR actions is what you are trying to avoid to face at the cost of your BS's choices in life. ...and one way of 'controlling' the outcome.... is by not telling your BS the truth.... You are not protecting your BS....you are protecting yourself... and one day he will find out.... and the amount of pain he will suffer will be proportional to the amount of time you have hidden the truth from him ...the longer you wait.... the more pain he will experience....
XBW DS16 & DS22 PLAN D: finalized!
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Melody, I guess we are going to have to agree to just disagree. I cannot convince you that my situation truly calls for this as the best course of action. I know where you are coming from and I understand why you are so sure that it's the best course of action. Without revealing TMI I cannot explain to you why I feel that this is the best way for me to handle this.
Not handing out any more lies to h, just not telling him how my life was for a short period of time. And no contrary to what you say, he wouldn't be able to handle this. It would be the straw that broke the camel's back. He has had a lot of injustice in life to deal with through no fault of his own and I am not going to make his life more difficult. Right, wrong or indifferent this is how it's going to be. And who are you to sit in judgment of someone like me? YOu don't know me, you don't know my level of honesty and you don't understand my individual situation. I know I sound like a lot of WW in denial, but it simply isn't so.
“Life is a long lesson in humility.”
James Matthew Barrie
Long time lurker.
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((((PIO))))
I'm so impressed. Now, don't forget the Conair Kit.
Nam, I hope you didn't have to endure the beep for long. Could it be that you were talking with and outsourced woman of wirlpool in, let's say, Mexico. Lol.
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And no Luna, I am not afraid of the consequences. He loves me and he would never do anything but try to help me. I am loathe to hurt him. He's had enough hardship in his life, I just don't want to cause more pain to him. He would live through it, and even not knowing has improved greatly in his understanding of me with my telling him of my problems without revealing what they led to. We are healing even without him knowing all the details of my life.
I don't know who Sarie is and I still don't know how to prove that I am not all these other people that you all keep thinking that I am.
Pio, are you getting tired of the cat fight? I am.
“Life is a long lesson in humility.”
James Matthew Barrie
Long time lurker.
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I am simply telling you that this is the only way that my sitch can be handled. I beg to differ...it is the way YOU are CHOOSING to handle it.... What happened to your BS's right to choose? ...Oh..right!...I forgot!...How can he, he doesn't KNOW!!!!!?!
XBW DS16 & DS22 PLAN D: finalized!
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OK, I'm having a problem here.
We all know I've had my share of problems with advice here. While I have taken and used everyone's advice, I know I have had problems understanding why I should do what I have been told to do and have frustrated people to no end. Sorry for that, BTW. I hope this doesn't make me a hypocrite.
Anyway, this isn't about me. So, my problem is this...after reading what's going on here at TKO with FC and reading another post, what I don't understand is why people come here, wanting advice, but they only tell part of their story or they get defensive when told what to do. No, we don't know anyone here personally, which is sometimes a very good thing. I've gotten advice from here and from people who know me and this has been the advice that I've followed. We all need an outside perspective and non-judgemental advice, especially from people who have "been there, done that".
But don't come here asking for advice and don't take the advice that's given or get defensive because someone may be making assumptions when you haven't given the whole truth. Nobody has ever claimed to "know" anybody here, that I've seen, but everyone here has been in each others shoes. We are ALL BS's and WS's and we're all here for the exact same reason...support.
If you're not going to take the support offered because you don't agree with it, or we don't know the whole story, which you are choosing to not give or you're too defensive to listen to it, why are you here in the first place?
I am not understanding why people are here and obviously don't want to be and have no intentions on following the MB principles or the advice given here.
I have been smacked upside the head, yelled at, grounded and everything else on this forum, but I need that sometimes and it has helped.
But don't get mad or try to diminish someone's feelings who has been here and had to deal with this for a long time when all they want and all they are trying to do is help because they have been here and they have recovered and they do know what they're talking about! Obviously you're way is not working, or you wouldn't be miserable or guilty and you wouldn't have had a reason to cheat/be cheated on in the first place.
Sorry for the longevity, just wanted to put my 2 cents in.
BS (me)-26 WH-27 Dday-August 2006 0 kids Married 4 years NC established 1-26-07 status-working on it
"Sometimes, I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough...but I'll stand back up."
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Nam,
originally in one week and a half but he may come until the holiday. Instead of a turkey he'll get guajolote con mole, much more tasty. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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Melody, I guess we are going to have to agree to just disagree. I cannot convince you that my situation truly calls for this as the best course of action. I know where you are coming from and I understand why you are so sure that it's the best course of action. Without revealing TMI I cannot explain to you why I feel that this is the best way for me to handle this.
Not handing out any more lies to h, just not telling him how my life was for a short period of time. And no contrary to what you say, he wouldn't be able to handle this. It would be the straw that broke the camel's back. He has had a lot of injustice in life to deal with through no fault of his own and I am not going to make his life more difficult. Right, wrong or indifferent this is how it's going to be. And who are you to sit in judgment of someone like me? YOu don't know me, you don't know my level of honesty and you don't understand my individual situation. I know I sound like a lot of WW in denial, but it simply isn't so. fc, I do sit in judgment of anyone who lies and cheats to people. Anyone who knows right from wrong can judge that this is wrong. Our prisons are full of people who can't judge right from wrong and that is exactly where they belong. I would also suggest that you are the LAST person qualified to determine what is in the best interest of your H. You are simply not qualified. The rapist is not qualified to decide what is "best" for his victim. Nor are your rationalizations convincing. They are self serving excuses that serve only you and fool no one here. They are not even good excuses, fc. There is no excuse to continue to trick your H, fc. No one can make you tell him, but don't imagine that anyone here is going to accept or condone your cruelty. You won't find any endorsement here for dishonesty. Sorry. If you want acceptance of your lies and deceit, you might try www.gloryb.com. They encourage a culture of corruption and you would fit right in.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I just got the DDs down to watch a movie. I think it is some type of family movie. Has anybody ever heard of "The Godfather"? I've never seen it but I liked the title. I hope they enjoy it.
I am going to try out my new Braun Ultimate electric shaver. I like buying "the ultimate" because I know they can never upgrade. I hate buying the best PC because in a week it no longer is. I thought long and hard before I got my Bowflex. I was tempted to get the Bowflex Xtreme but finally opted for the Bowflex Ultimate. I figured it could never get any better than that. I was wrong. They came out with "the ultimate II". I juts hate that.
Anyway, another hour or two in the accunozzle jet stream and then it is back to the wax. I may even wax my elbows. It's amazing what all you can wax. I never knew.
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Me thinks you want to welcome G with all the new gadgets working, could it be that you want to see her? Larousse....me thinks you are right.... What say you, Pio?
XBW DS16 & DS22 PLAN D: finalized!
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Pio, are you getting tired of the cat fight? I am. You are joking right? Men? Tired of a cat fight? You make me laugh <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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Melody, out of curiosity to compare number of nicks of Sarie with Curly17, Sarie had 4 ir 5? I remember Laura...
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Alo Todd,
The red letters were on this site or it happens when you see other sites? Todd I'm really worried about you, you caused the false alarms just to be restrained in handcuffs and spend the night like that, now you try to initiate Pio on the clamps colection, tsk, tsk. Hi Larousse, The red font can appear on any webpage not just MB. As for the clamps, if Pio would simply open his mind and his heart to the idea of clamps, they could make him forget all about cable ties. I have no respect for cable ties. Yes, they are simple. Yes, majestic in their own way. But hold down a wood stock while you carve? I don't think so.
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Ahh, side stepping the above for now... A wise choice, may I add...Nams!
XBW DS16 & DS22 PLAN D: finalized!
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I can already tell I am going to have to buy new furniture so we can have places to put the scrapbook stuff. Scrapbooking is like infidelity - it never ends. Just when you think you see light at the end of the tunnel, you hit another curve. Scrapbooking is rewriting history, creating fantasy. I never realized there were so many parallels. OMG <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />
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there is a smoke detector with a battery that needs to be replaced & that's what's been beeping. Nams...great detective work... ...and how many DAYS did it take find the beep?!? ...LOL. That's really funny. Geeshhh......poor dog...
XBW DS16 & DS22 PLAN D: finalized!
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Okay, you can stick a fork in me I am done. I do not appreciate being called a rapist and do not feel that it applies to me. What a nice way to treat someone who came here looking to help and be helped. I didn't come here to fight with any of you. I have gotten immesurable help from this board until I began posting. Obviously for people like me, lurking is more helpful. I didn't ask for all this argument, I didn't start it, I responded to Big K's questions. I knew it would be opening a can of worms for me and I thought I was strong enough to take the criticism. But I never dreamed I would be called a rapist.
And Stef 20 be careful, if you don't do it exactly like they think you should, you will be branded as a rapist or something worse perhaps.
Melody I tried to respond in a reasonable way to you, but it got nasty and ugly. Surely you are better than that.
“Life is a long lesson in humility.”
James Matthew Barrie
Long time lurker.
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