Nam,

Nice manicure too !

BF lived in NY city many years. Now lives in deer land Walkers Valley, NY.

Wow! Now that's a long distance relationship.

How long have you two been involved? Would you ever move to the States?

I wonder how today will be in TKO land. I'll duck & run if things get too heated.

Steph, the reason is because fraidycat has no conscience. That is the only reason a person would come to a thread peopled by 2 men grieving over their wive's lies and adultery and shamelessly gloat about how she is fooling her H into thinking she and OM are just "friends." AS you pegged it, she is not here to save her marriage.

This person has had other alias' on here as Sarie/BlessedTime/IWRA/Celt and several others. She is just here to stir trouble, promote affairs and stick the knife into other hurting folks. Watch out, you guys.

Hi Melody, is now the time to take cover? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Do you have something against the smell of Aquanet???? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Naw, no need to take cover, I just wanted to point out that this person has an agenda and folks should be aware of that.

We met three years ago, dated briefly, kept in contact and 'oficialy' became BF&GF in January this year.

We're negotiating the options to be togethet. We decided that by the end of this year we will have a decision about where to live. lol

How is the dog?

ML,

Do you use Aquanet as room perfum?

MelodyLane,

For all that was said and done yesterday, I felt absolutely nothing. ToddAC was beat up pretty badly.

Why didn't I feel anything? Semi-rhetorical question.

Nams, how it will be in TKO land is how you all determine it will be.

Pio, I want to make sure that you understand that I didn't think you approved of me or that I thoughtI had "converted" you. I was merely signaling that you had listened to what I had to say and you understood my sitch. If I had come here for approval or to persuade anyone that my course of action was the best, I wouldn't have been reluctant to share my story, and I wouldn't have repeatedly said that MB principles are the best method for solving most marital problems.

You have to play the hand that is dealt to you. Each of us sizes up a situation and assesses what we think the proper way to deal with it is to achieve a desired outcome. We take many things into consideration: personalities, history, tolerance for risk, reward and expectations. Mine are different from yours. Only you can say what is the best path for you. I don't pretend to have the only way down the path. And my destination is not the same as yours. I would merely like to complete my life married to the same man that I started with, and keep my family in tact and relatively happy. I am settling and I know I am. I have lived too long to expect perfection and I don't have to have it. I feel that my expectations are realistic for my set of circumstances. To aim for perfection would only set me up for disappointment.

I don’t know how it is possible to reestablish trust with a spouse who has been W when they come back into your life. It takes an enormous amount of faith in yourself, the spouse and God or what ever belief system you have. There are no guarantees in life, no way to ensure a particular outcome. You simply have to do the best you can and hope for the best. Only time and your expectations will tell if you marriage will be satisfying for you after an affair. There is no way to crawl into someone else’s head and be perfectly reassured that their motives are pure.

I had no agenda when I came here except to lend a sympathetic ear, continue to learn things and participate in what I thought was an open, humorous, healing tolerant forum. I had no thoughts of converting anyone. Above all I wanted to cause no further pain to anyone. My H has an interesting take on pain. He says, “it lets you know you are still alive and breathing.” I am not so sure that isn’t one of the most accurate statements about the human condition that there is. Pain is not comforting, not a place for solace, it only tells you that you are still in the game of life and that to me is in and of itself comforting.

So it is my fervent wish that TKO can go back to being a healing healthy place for all who need it and that above all there will be tolerance for differing opinions. fc

Aquanet is that lacquer used to protect furniture right?

The dog is better but still acting scared. She's with us in the main parts of the house, not using her hiding places as much. She's eating & going. I think she may need time to feel safe again. She now looks at one cabnet in the kitchen next to her eating area. I wonder if something fell from there & scared her.

Would you move to the States larousse?

larousse,

If you do move, I told you before, do it illegally. Do NOT follow immigration rules. Big mistake I'm STILL paying for.

Pio, why did you tend to your WW's garden?

larousse, I meant to ask would you WANT to move to the States?

Why not?

yah, baby! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Why not?

Does that mean you didn't do with your WW's happiness in mind? I remember you saying you hate to garden so clearly you didn't do it for the pleasure of gardening.

I'm wondering if you're feathering the nest, making nice, making things as appealing as you can. I'm wondering why & how this makes you feel, though it sounds like you're trying to turn off some emotions.

Suzet with a _? Say it isn't true Suzet with a star.

Well, I had best not. I withdraw the statement. Otay?