I would like to express an opinion of why Pio is tending to his wife's garden. It seems to me that he loves her very much and even though she has hurt him, he is more than willing to try to pick up the pieces and move forward with their lives together. I find it quite admirable that he feels this way. It does not imply that he is willing to live a life without boundaries for her. It merely shows that he is open to the possiblity of a reconcilliation. If she turns him down then she doesn't deserve a man who is this good anyway. It's an act of love and an expression of faith in the possibility of a reconcilliation. fc

Nam,

I don't want to move there per se.

I'm afraid I could have a hard time with long winters. Maybe a good pretext to snuggle up to boyfriend? AHHH.

Obviously looking at Pio's hands he doesn't tend the garden or has a garage workshop. The pic was a stunt to show us his pink glasses.

Or the hands look that good after the wax dipping?

Good morning Todd!

Your unwillingness to discuss your bedwetter statement is the equivalent of my unwillingness to discuss politics?

Toss the word bomb then run?

Did your Dr. have encouraging words?

[color:"red"] Good morning Todd,

I have a beauty tip for you but I'm afraid you too will start to wear pink shorts. Rob set such a bad example. [/color]


[color:"brown"] That was not red, it was your buttered eyes.[/color] <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Yes, FC, I agree as do most people here I'd venture to guess. I just wondered if Pio was willing to acknowledge it & say it out loud. I also wondered if this made him feel vulnerable, scared, or any number of emotions he might be facing right now. Oh, & sick, don't forget sick.

When ex told me he wanted to divorce I acutually did throw up. I stood up, numb at first, then went outside to throw up.

D is a possibility Pio might be facing despite his best efforts.

Mornin' Nams. I am glad your dog is doing better. A shepard/rotty mix does sound beautiful. Their coloration is very nice. Both breeds are so smart. I had a standard poodle for 17 years who was almost the perfect pet. She was wonderful. My entire family loved her and she has been gone for two years. We have so many wonderful memories associated with her. We are just now this week experiencing a dog again. We bought one a couple of weekends ago and this will be a very different experience. She's one of the smaller Shih Tzus. (9 weeks old) I am surprised at how intelligent she is. I thought small and cute but not nearly as smart as a St. Poodle. Well, I think I was wrong. I am trying to not fall in love with her too much, or be too indulgent, but it's difficult.

Nams, I would imagine that Pio is feeling a whole range of emotions. They are probably pretty hard to separate out right now. It's pretty hard to guard your heart at all times.

No earthquakes on New York.

I have no idea what is going to happen. I am totally ready to get divorced tomorrow if need be. I'm simply tired of playing games.

I am trying to make the house more or less presentable out of respect for gemela because those things are important to her. There are a lot of things I'm not doing. For example, I had moved all her stuff out of the shower so I could have room for my razor and shampoo. (There wasn't room before). I'm not moving her stuff back. She can do that. I'm not hanging her clothes or boxing her shoes. It is all folded well enough and stacked. Her scrapbooking stuff is in a corner. The gemela that left a few weeks ago is one still in love with OM and fogged by her A. I have no expectation that any of that has changed in such a short time.

I believe that, if she does come back and say she wants the M, it will be out of shame, sense of duty, whatever. I fully expect her to be a pretend wife. That's not what I want. I have been very happy this time without her. I think her being back is going to make me unhappy. Honestly I don't know how long I will be able to tolerate her.

Regardless, she is still my wife for the moment. I have to act as her husband same as I would if she were not cheating on me. Her behavior should not dictate mine. If it did, I would be a hypocrit. So I took care of the garden. It is not perfect. I left things for her to do herself. But at least she won't feel the need to do it the first thing in the morning the day she gets back.

And I DID wax my hands last night thank you very much.

The backs of my hands have always been in fair shape. The business side, OTOH, is always cut and calloused.

Yes it is true Todd. I already feel much more comfortable with the _ than with the "star"! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

larousse,

they were FADED RED!!!!

Sorry,

¡¡¡ROJO DESPINTADO!!!

Pio, I don't remember... is Gamela there for a finite amount of time when she returns or have you left it open-ended?

Okay, it's me Typhoid Mary here. It's obvious that you all still think I am up to no good.

I am not very bb saavy, but if there is a way to prove that I am not the person that you all think I am, I'd like to know how. So if there is some way to put this issue to bed forever please tell me how to do it. I don't mind taking responsibility for who I am, but I cannot fight against misconceptions and it's hurtful for me to be prejudged based on someone that I am not. fc

Hi there nams, please to meet you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks for your good wishes nams. What type of treatment did you receive. Intro-fertilization? Me & my H will have to undergo ICSI - a intro-fertilization method specifically used for male infertility. My H absolutely adores children and I know he will be a very good father one day...very considering, caring & responsible...and for this reason it has always (and still) saddens me that a person like him (someone who love children and will make a wonderful father) happens to have this problem...

FC, it doesn't matter. The fact is that you are exactly the person that both Todd and I would divorce in a heartbeat. You are my WW at this moment. I hope she will change at some point and no longer be you. I am willing to give her that opportunity if she wants it. But to be stuck with the marriage that you are willing to offer is worse than death. That's not to sya that I believe your H should seek a divorce. He should only seek a divorce if you remain resolute in your current mindset.

You say you love your H and I'm sure on some level you do. It's hard to walk away from 37 years. But I am certain you love OM more. I am certain it hurts you to see him every week knowing he is with another. It is unrequited love. You would have been far better off if you had had your A and it had died a death.

You view OM as prince charming because he was so noble as to sacrifice himself at the altar to wed another woman to keep you safe. If you had left your H to run off with OM, I think you would have more self-respect. Your still stuck in the fairy-tale. I also know more about you than you have revealed here but I will never use that info for anything. It serves no purpose.

I don't feel sorry for you but thinking about your sitch really does make me sad. You remind me so much of gemela after OM was deported. I still remember how he told her on the phone that he had admitted to the affair in his letter of resignation but that he wrote that he had no regrets. That made her so happy to hear. It wasn't true. He really wrote the opposite. I saw the letter. But who was she going to believe? OM or me? OM, of course. They are soulmates.

And IMO this is one of the reasons you are here and why ToddAC is such a curiosity to you.

>soulmates

soulmeat or holemate...whatever

BLECH...hate that term soulmate. Rather die in a freak leg shaving accident than to ever hear it again.

Just checking in to see how you and Todd are doing. Seems you have a nit here...and it's not YOU...I got remedies for that if you want 'em.

And I had to tell Mel that in THIS part of Tejas, if'n you wear that much Aquanet, the bugs stick in your hair like it's a big ol wad of flypaper. (shudder)

- Kimmy

I have issues with word soulmate also. And "happily everafter". And all pinky girly stories. I hope I am just getting realistic and not cynical. Not that there is anything wrong with being cynical...

Anyway, can someone explain me or send me a link or a book recommendation on 180 plan. I think I did a pretty good plan A, but I feel my M needs some different perspective sometimes. Any suggestions?

Aside from the fact that mobody likes my pink shorts, I'm okay. I am horrible dad again because I am making the girls clean up their rooms. It is embarrassing how they get their rooms. No playing tomorrow after school either. I did take DD1 to the driving range. She was more disappointed she got a black heel mark on her shoes than anything else. Never mind how she hit the ball.

I just had a nasty pain shoot through my head. I'm going to lay down.

3 more days of freedom.

Well, Pio, I am sorry that you feel that way about my motives. I figured you knew more about me than I had revealed here and that's fine.

I certainly can understand why being in a marriage with someone like me would be worse than death to you. It's all in your perspective. You want a guarantee that your FWW will come back and things will be able to get back to the previous trust levels that you had. I don't know whether or not that is possible. Frankly, I doubt it. She may come back and things may be wonderful from her standpoint and she may be fully committed to you in every way possible. But again, whether or not you are able to ever believe it or trust her is completely another matter. Remember the old "trust but verify." Maybe that's the way you life will have to be from this day forward.

I have no idea if I love my OM more. I have never had the chance to find out what living with him would be like. I don't know the answer to that anymore than I can fly. I grew up from the time I was 13 on with my H being the only man in my life. I know what it's been like with him and I know good days as well as bad. But to be able to say that I love OM more is ludicrous. I have no facts to base that upon. He might have been a complete nightmare to live with. In fact, he is very different from my H and I don't know if that contrast is good or bad. No one is perfect, not my H nor the OM. I try to consider the best case scenario given the resources I have to work with. If I look back at my M, even with all it's problems, I honestly have to say that I have had a very good marriage. I think, but don't know for sure, that my H was the very best fit for me. I can also tell you this, my OM's former infidelity ruined his entire family and made his life a living H. I don't think I would have wanted to take a risk like that either. I felt sorry for him and wondered just how much punishment was going to be visited upon him and his family for his "sins" but most people would probably think he hadn't suffered enough.

I will tell you this one thing. If you are able to love and trust Gamela again and she you, it will be wonderful for you. If you let the mistrust color your whole world then there's not much point in trying. It may never be "perfect" again, but it probably wasn't to begin with. IMHO, it is not ever realistic to expect perfection from anyone or any situation.

Neither of you are curiosities to me. I am very impressed at your internal fortitude and your perseverence and I admire both of you. And I wish that there was some way your faith in your wives could be restored and that you would be able to move forward in a calm, happy, peaceful and rewarding manner. fc