Sorry, I didn't mean to keep you in suspense... a lot has happened since I've been here... I went out of town Saturday and came home Sunday. I called WH Sunday afternoon/evening to ask if he was still coming over to bring me money. He said he forgot about it and will bring it over on his way to the races later. Fine. He calls me on his way to the races and said that he didn't have his new PIN # yet, if he got it in the mail, call him with it and he'd bring the money to me after the races were over. He said he wouldn't be too late, he wasn't going to stay for the whole thing, but I asked him to call me when he was on his way. He made some joke about me having somebody leave before he got here. I told him, No, I have morals and I'm still married. (was that bad?). Anyway, then he propositioned me about him possibly moving back in strictly for financial reasons. He said he was tired of me calling him every week asking about money, even though it's his fault that I have to call him. He said he would just bring his clothes back and as soon as things were settled, he was out of here. I told him I would think about it. So he came over at 11:30 Sunday night. He handed me the money right away and I expected him to leave, since he had to work the next morning. He sat on the couch by me and teased me about the movie I was watching. I told him about my weeked and we started heavily flirting and one thing led to another and...please don't yell at me. I feel soooo horrible about it, I don't think I could take any 2x4's about this. It was so late that he ended up spending the night again.

He called me Monday after work (not sure why). He was on his way to a friend's house to help him and we talked for a while. I told him that I thought about what he said and he's probably right, the easiest thing for him to do right now would be to move back in, so if he wanted to, I was agreeable to it. Then he back-tracked and wasn't so sure. He said it would make things "awkward and confusing" if he were to move back in, but he didn't know what else to do about our situation. So I asked him, does this mean you're not moving back in, then? He said not right away. But the way he talked made it seem like he thought it was my idea for him to come back! I don't want him to come back yet! I haven't talked to him since. And I'm really confused again. I want to talk to him sooooo bad. I just want to know why he's so afraid to feel his feelings for me. Why he won't admit that he still loves me. Ugh!!!

Well on the plus side Stef, if he moves back in, you can do a much better Plan A. But we might have to get you fitted for a chastity belt.

You did LB him too BTW.

Keep clear of the relationship talk. Just do the Plan A stuff. Attract him back. You fell off the horse, it's OK. Get back on. But don't let him use you Stef. You deserve better than that.

[color:"red"] Aaaahhh, this explains why Pio's sister gets jelous of G. [/color] <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Kansas has better music, I think. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Mealworm's complot! Oh the rat race starts earlier and earlier. did the little hamster became Hamster Atlas? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Hi, Kiwi, BK, Stph. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Oh Lord....Nams...is letting Todd loose in an adult store!



....uhmm....hopefully this would not be an issue in Todd's case!

and that may be really bad advice from me. Hmm.

Thing is you wouldn't necessarilt throw WS out of house now so you probably should let him back. But you seem to be incapable of keeping your panties on. Hmm. I dunno. You have been doing a great Plan A Stef. It may be better to not let him back in.

Hi Larousse, Luna.

Well, you apparently missed my earlier post. They have "inverse" rabbits for men. Rhymes with flashlight. I had never seen anything like it.

OK, I'm listening. How did I LB him? And how do I not anymore?

Thank you so much for not yelling at me. You were the first person I thought of when I realized what I'd done. Like having to face my mother when I was a kid and did something bad!

I haven't talked to him about the relationship, and I don't plan on it yet, I just really, really, really want to. I'm also hoping a chastity belt is not necessary. The one thing I did think of when he said he was considering moving back was that I could do an even better Plan A. That's also why I was disappointed when he said he wasn't going to right away.

I'm not trying to let him use me, but I have illogical thinking regarding SF.

Flashlight name lacks poetry, rabbit on the other hand...

Luna, comme sei, tutto bene?

I would say while totally true that is a disrespectful judgement. But a little one.....

Trust me, I have thought about this from every angle.

And do ya have to make me feel any worse than I already do? Really? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Larousse,

We are men. What do you expect from us? Poetry? Okay, I will soon publish the poetry I have written.

I apologise Stef. I honestly don't want you to feel any worse and I don't want you to think I am beating you up. None of us here did everything right and I honestly don't expect you to either. I am not disappointed in you one bit. I understand totally why this happened and where you are at. Disrespect was not my intent.

SF is just a tactical error at this point.

I could have been nicer in how I got my point accross. I'm sorry.

It's not a judgement if it's true! And it's absolutely true. I'll have to read more about DJ's so I can avoid them. I said it without thinking. I knew it was a mistake when I said it.

His whole attitude about this whole thing just burns my a**! Last night was the first night that I actually got a little mad about all of this. I wanted to go into a room and throw something. I didn't, because then I'd have a mess to clean up. But I wanted to.

Now I feel bad. (((Stef)))

You know what stph?

Listen to the BigK. He has this stuff figured out.

I know it is tough for you and you are doing well. Just accept what BigK says and think about it and how to implement your plan. You will be fine.

Todd....this is the second time you can't name 'a spade a spade'....

...how bad could the name be? ...and it doesn't sound like Cinderella's 'guessed' it right, either!

...so...I am just going to ask: what is it called?

(....now...I KNOW....will regret asking)

Stph,

affair aside in your case, it seems you had angry outburst, mood swings and disrespect judegemental episodes. One characteristic of people who has no control over their angry outburst is that they can't understand the impact it has in the other person.
Read again about Love Busters.
One thing you shouldn't do is tell him that you have changed and you won't be the old Stph. He has to see it for himself over a extended period of time. Please don't minimize the impact your uncontrolled behavior had over your WS in the past. Of course I'm not justifying his affair but only when you understand how your negative, angry behavior affects him and recognize it, you could understand deeply why you can't allow yourself to behave tha way anymore.

I think our crazy conversations have send Believer away.

I know it's true but it's trying to educate your spouse - a DJ. A totally understandable one. But tell me do you think that deposited or withdrew Love Units from your account in his love bank?

Thank you for the hug, but don't feel bad. I honestly expected to be yelled at a lot more than I have been. You've given me great advice and I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to follow it. I'm going to try harder. I want to do this right. I love the advice and support you give me and I was kidding when I rolled my eyes. I wasn't upset with you at all. I was, however, very afraid of what your reaction was going to be, but I wanted to be honest and not hide it. I'm not upset with you at all. (((((BigK)))))