I just discovered Stef has been cheating on us in her own thread of all places. LOL.

I derive what little satisfaction I can get out of life wherever I find it these days.

Then I am happy that my hurt and disappointment makes you happy.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> Oh my! I just started to catch up & find out I've been edited! Will it become apparent to my why if I read on? Maybe someone can enlighten me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

OK, it was the bit about Kiwi. Could have sworn I'd read that kind of stuff here before. My appologies to those I may have offended. It's good to have boundries.

This all Todd's fault, well Kiwi's too. Her gloating & all <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Luna, if you'll recall I had mentioned muscle atophy when we first started to discuss adult accoutrements. To be safe & remain a one time edited poster that's all I'll say.

Being edited by the mods is embarrassing isn't it? Just wait till they start sending you threatening emails!

I appreciate the effort, Todd.

Buenos días muchachos y muchachas!

Todd, you are going to bed too early or too late, bad boy. When does the treatment start?

...actually, Larousse, I am now up...have you gone to sleep now?

I'm up, almost. One coffee from Chiapas and like new. Kinda.

But I've told you more of my story here than there! That should count for something!

I put my rings back on this morning. Thank you all for your input. I don't know what to say to him when he asks me why I did it though.

Good morning Stph,

I wrote this about why your WS may not be showing his feelings to you:

Stph,

affair aside in your case, it seems you had angry outburst, mood swings and disrespect judegemental episodes. One characteristic of people who has no control over their angry outburst is that they can't understand the impact it has in the other person.
Read again about Love Busters.
One thing you shouldn't do is tell him that you have changed and you won't be the old Stph. He has to see it for himself over a extended period of time. Please don't minimize the impact your uncontrolled behavior had over your WS in the past. Of course I'm not justifying his affair but only when you understand how your negative, angry behavior affects him and recognize it, you could understand deeply why you can't allow yourself to behave tha way anymore.

larousse-

I'm so sorry, I meant to reply to your post last night and I forgot to.

I admit I did DJ, but in all honesty, we were kidding when we talked about it, even though that doesn't make it right, there was no anger or mood swings directed towards WH. I haven't been angry towards him since he told me about the A. The only time I've actually been mad, I had to force myself to be mad and he wasn't around. He's not seen me anything other than hurt, and that was when the A first came out.

In the beginning, I was telling him that I was going to change and how I had changed, but I've stopped doing that. He's not listening anyway and I believe he's starting to see it.

We have actually had a lot of discussions that, in the past, may have led to arguments, but they haven't because I have controlled myself and stopped the conversation when I felt I wouldn't be able to handle it.

Since he's been gone, it's given me a lot of time to think clearly about our M and I realize my faults and what led him to cheat. Not that it's all my fault, of course I'm not blaming myself and I never have, he made the decision, but I understand what I did to make him unhappy and how we weren't meeting each other's EN's. And I honestly don't want to be the person I was before. I wasn't happy either and I'm recognizing that now.

Thanks for answering Stph,

I had understood you had anger problems. My mistake. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

I'm glad you have reflected about you part in your marital problems.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I think the only anger problem I have is that I'm not...lol.

I have done a lot of thinking since WH has been gone and a lot of learning about myself. So, in a crazy way, I'm almost glad this happened (not the A, but him moving out) so that I could become a better person. I just didn't know how or that I needed to!

Stef, I understand what you are saying. Although I also do not blame myself for his A, I could really see that my idear of M was two people leading their own lives.

Estrela

I think I was the opposite. I thought that M was doing everything together. I think I smothered him and became to needy and clingy. I have since learned how to become my own person, be independant and do the things that I want to do.

My life is about me now, not about us and that is hard to get used to, but I'm still learning.

Hi Nams,

You didn't offend anyone. Well, maybe the person who reported you. But I take full blame for pushing the thread.