Then we can be cheaters together...LOL! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I just feel very selfish by posting my stories all the time. I don't feel like I have much to contribute to you guys. My thread is my safe zone, I guess.

Stef - Don't sweat it. This thread is a strange mix of people and ideas and fun. It's a place for you to relax and chill out or get good advice. This thread is all over the place. It is whatever you or any poster wants it to be. You are not in any way being selfish. You contribute a lot here as it happens.

I think this is what BigK really meant to say.



<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Hi everyone,

I was so thrilled to hear you had been to my home town Lunamare. I love (sorry-deleted) so much and will hopefully never live anywhere else. I hope it is okay to copy a little information here in my post.

(sorry everyone)

I am heading to bed as it has been a long day. Tomorrow I get another report from my PI. Perhaps it will be good news, there is always that possibility. I think I live in Paradise, let's hope it not Fools Paradise.

Goodnight, Beth

OK. Just so we don't get Todd telling Poems or song lyrics...

THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY AT WORK, BUT CAN'T!

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of [censored].

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

10. Ahhh...I see the fc#k-up fairy has visited us again.

11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision - I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be?

24. Do I look like a people person???

25. This isn't an office. It's ****** with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed?

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door number 1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it.

36. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

Are jokes off topic for TKO?

BigK!!!!!! How could you??? And here I thought we meant something to you. I am calling Dr. Harley...

I would think they are on-topic.

Why do you ask? Did I offend someone with my joke?

How could you possibly offend anyone here with a joke about ugly women Todd?

I did like the part about looking for a one armed man.

If stph is a cheater so am I. I started out at MB on the emotional needs forum, switched to divorced/relationships forum then came here. Mostly I post here but I do post on all three. How's that for transparency & honesty?

ToddAC was a bad, bad boy last night. I fully intended to eat a healthy dinner but as I rounded the corner to the deli, I could hear the sounds of the mariachi emanating from the Mexican restaurant. At first, my steps toward the deli were unaffected. But then, like the sweet flute music that appears to hypnotize the Cobra, the marachi drew me closer. I thought: well, I will just walk towards the restaurant to hear the music better, but I never turned back. So instead of a healthy supper, I loaded up with all kinds of lavish, not-good-for-you food. And the mariachi was great as always. Except this time, I asked if they played "Girl from Ipanema". The lead guy who plays the fiddle, winced, like, hey leave us alone, why don't you want to hear Tequila like all the drunks in here? But they humored me and played Ipanema. Not bad.

I have noticed that they pay attention to me when they see me. I figure this is due to one of two reasons: (i) they geniuinely like me; they must, they get a good laugh from my poor Spanish and/or (ii) I tip so well. I don't know what others tip, but I would bet big bucks and give you fantastic odds that I am the best tipper in the place.

I also had a MM on the rocks instead of Tecate or Corona. The first drink was very well poured. Nothing like a bartender who knows his business. The second drink, well, the second drink was in a glass twice the size of the first glass, and man, did he have a limp wrist during that pour. I even sent him a tip before I left.

There was one ugly spot. There were several tables pull together and seated around the tables were a large group of folks who were (i)drunk and (ii) obnoxiously loud. I saw the marachi easing towards me and I knew I would never hear the music if the group continued. I studied the group for a while, picked out the likely social leader and walked directly over to him. I explained that I knew they were having a good time, but that the band was playing and the other patrons could hardly hear, plus there were kids who did not need the hear some of the language coming from their direction. He stood up and we stood toe to toe. We stared at each other for a full thirty seconds, then he said, no problem, sorry for the disturbance. They were much quieter after that.

All in all, a wonderful night. Except for when I got back to my place. You know, I was alone....

Hi Nams,

I apologize. I should never have posted the joke.

I will delete it.

No, no Todd I was joking. I've heard that joke many times but with the new twist of looking for a one armed man...it was funny. Hey, if I gave it some thought I could probably come up with some...man...jokes someone may not like.

Like I've said before, if people don't like what they read here they can go elsewhere.

Good for you going over to the big, loud table. I'm glad it worked out the way it did, sounds like it could have gone either way.

Good morning Todd!

Off to work. See y'all later.

Excellent stuff BigK!

[color:"blue"] Good morning Nam, Todd, Big K, [/color]

Todd you were a bad boy ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

MM are Margaritas?

I bet you will make your Mariachi to wide their Brazilian music catalog.

Somedays in Rio I would go to A Academia da Cachaca to have a caipirinha with a plate of aipim. Maybe Estrela can tell us what's the name for aipim in English. It's fantastic.

I'm impressed that you spoke with the group leader at the restaurant. Sometimes we are too tolerant of unacceptable social behavior.

Hi 2regret,

I am totally jealous...

If you have been lurking for awhile....you must have come across some posts from Believer.... well....had it not been for the fact that she was visiting her ailing father when I was there....I just about 'hooked up' with Believer!

It is a very BEAUTIFUL town....I throroughly enjoyed my stay there!

Thanks, BigK...really funny...

....will use it the next time I want to get fired!

Well, thanks nams. I have always thought the followon joke about looking for the one-armed man was the funnier of the two. But hey, make all the man jokes you so desire. We deserve them.


Hmm.... Nams. You could be Libertarian material, know that?


I was very fortunate for the way it did turn out. That table was the worst assemblage of loud drunks I have ever seen. And it is unfair to ask the wait staff to do anything because there goes their tip. I swore I would never do it again because the last such time was in a movie theater. The same high school couple follows me to every movie I attempt to see. There was one movie where the couple behind me talked all the way through. I politely turned around and asked them to please be quiet. Well, one cannot read eyes in a darkened theater so the high school kid wanted to "park it outside". I knew I had scraped bottom. I have not been back to the movies since then and that was several years ago. I am content to watch DVD's. That's why I had a home theater with a 100" screen installed, so I could enjoy the "big screen" in comfort and quiet.


Good morning Nams!!!

Todd...they say, in life, you cannot have it all....so....I suggest you focus on the 'wonderful night'...otherwise...at this pace....you will not have any body parts left...

Good morning Larousse,

Now I am seeing blue. Geez...


Yes, I was.


Oh Gawd no Larousse. I drink nothing with sugar in it. My drinks are limited to MM (Maker's Mark, a bourbon), wine but only with dinner and never French, beer and okay, big confession here: cognac. Yes, French cognac. It is the only thing they produce that is worthwhile. I used to buy their tires but switched to German tires several years ago.


I hope so. We have a running joke that they never know any of the songs I request. But they are so talented, that they have been able to figure out two of them: Lambada and Ipanema. Yet to figure out: Nuca en Domingo. They are incredibly talented.


Larousse, you impress waaaay too easily. It was a calculated risk. I am able to remain perfectly calm in those situations and if someone can read eyes at all, they can see that. Just a result to too many similar confrontations growing up. It is a good thing it turned out for the better. I am in no physical shape to do much these days.

Hi Luna,

LMAO. Well, it couldn't be helped. I mean, well, it couldn't be helped, that's all. That's all folks....