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I am on the phone with my son. Cannot concentrate too well to post much. Later.
Pio, take care and keep yourself centered, okay pal?
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Steph, once he gets his head out of his a** he will be back.
I mean, really, a 35 year old woman with an 8 year old child when he has you.
Just keep being patient, seriously. I agree. I'm a much better option, hands down. He'll never find someone better than me! I just know what he wants and I'm frustrated that he won't admit to it yet. But I understand that he's still in the A and won't admit to anything yet, but it's still frustrating.
BS (me)-26
WH-27
Dday-August 2006
0 kids
Married 4 years
NC established 1-26-07
status-working on it
"Sometimes, I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough...but I'll stand back up."
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Todd, if you're talking to your son about WW, keep us posted. And good luck.
BS (me)-26
WH-27
Dday-August 2006
0 kids
Married 4 years
NC established 1-26-07
status-working on it
"Sometimes, I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough...but I'll stand back up."
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Posts: 8,297
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Of course you are a better option.
He wouldn't keep calling you if he didn't still feel a connection with you.
Patience, patience, patience and listening to BigK even when he tells you off.
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I'm learning patience...correction...I'm trying to learn patience.
I will keep listening to BigK, even when he tells me off, I know I need it sometimes. I tend to be a bit of a hard-head which probably makes me stupid at times and I deserve to be yelled at.
I only get one chance at a second chance in my M, so I'm going to do the best I can.
BS (me)-26
WH-27
Dday-August 2006
0 kids
Married 4 years
NC established 1-26-07
status-working on it
"Sometimes, I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough...but I'll stand back up."
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Posts: 853
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Ahem....BigK is now cheating on us with several OT's (other threads).
BS (me)-26
WH-27
Dday-August 2006
0 kids
Married 4 years
NC established 1-26-07
status-working on it
"Sometimes, I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough...but I'll stand back up."
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Posts: 8,297
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The dirty rotten cheater. LOL
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Stef - You are seriously doing great. Sigh. You get GREAT stuff from your husband and you still aren't happy. Patience and consistency Stef. This seriously is very good you know.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Posts: 853
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He exposed me, now I'm exposing him. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />
Now I'm going to bed, it's almost 1 am Saturday morning.
BS (me)-26
WH-27
Dday-August 2006
0 kids
Married 4 years
NC established 1-26-07
status-working on it
"Sometimes, I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough...but I'll stand back up."
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
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Settle down children. On one of those other threads I am getting my [censored] kicked by a guy because I keep pressing his buttons. Man am I ever hitting a nerve. LOL
I even gave him instructions for how to ignore me.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
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And Stef - I didn't give you permission to go to bed yet. Entertain me dammit.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464 |
Pio - Gemela has made you more unhappy being back than I have seen you for months.
She needs to poop or get off the pot. I hate what this is doing to you Pio. Sucks being your daughters in this situation too. If she doesn't want this marriage get her out. If she does want it she needs to start acting like it.
This makes me very mad. It's not like d-day was last week.
(((Pio)))
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 853
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Stef - You are seriously doing great. Sigh. You get GREAT stuff from your husband and you still aren't happy. Patience and consistency Stef. This seriously is very good you know. But's it's NOT great stuff until he's ready to come home and be done with the A. He told me today that I'm lucky he still sorta likes me. He was kidding, but still. What is seriously very good? I got his cell phone records from Sept 5 to Oct 4. During that month, he talked to OW for 4 hours and 33 minutes. Which sucks, but it's better than previous months. But it still hurt like h***. I didn't think it would. I guess it just refreshed everything and made it real. In some way, with him not living here, I don't really have to acknowledge that the A is real. When it's in black and white, I do.
BS (me)-26
WH-27
Dday-August 2006
0 kids
Married 4 years
NC established 1-26-07
status-working on it
"Sometimes, I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough...but I'll stand back up."
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 853
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Settle down children. On one of those other threads I am getting my [censored] kicked by a guy because I keep pressing his buttons. Man am I ever hitting a nerve. LOL
I even gave him instructions for how to ignore me. I read that...it was great!! It's even better because it's not directed towards me for once...LOL! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
BS (me)-26
WH-27
Dday-August 2006
0 kids
Married 4 years
NC established 1-26-07
status-working on it
"Sometimes, I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough...but I'll stand back up."
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
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WH called me about an hour ago and spent the next 40 minutes on the phone with me for NOTHING!! He called me for no apparent reason! Now I'm getting mad! LOL - Where is the downside here? He can't help himself Stef. He is conflicted. He wants to spend time with you for absolutely no reason. He started flirting with me and then told me about a problem he was having and I helped him decide how to fix it and we flirted some more and got off the phone. You can't even see how you are filling his Love Bank can you? This makes me mad because it's CONFUSING...I know what's going on but I can't stand it!!! Have I mentioned I'm impatient?? I want him to realize that he still wants me and get over the A already. Your impatience will be the death of you Stef - when you are impatient, you do stuff like blow up at him or have SF with him. Stef - he will come back. Make him LONG for you. Be the lighthouse. DO that great Plan A stuff you have been doing. You are making yourself very attractive to him. Can you not see that?
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 853
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Posts: 853 |
Now I'm getting mad! LOL - Where is the downside here? He can't help himself Stef. He is conflicted. He wants to spend time with you for absolutely no reason. I know that, that's why it's frustrating. I don't know what the downside is, it just irritates me. You can't even see how you are filling his Love Bank can you? I will admit, no. Your impatience will be the death of you Stef - when you are impatient, you do stuff like blow up at him or have SF with him. Stef - he will come back. Make him LONG for you. Be the lighthouse. DO that great Plan A stuff you have been doing. You are making yourself very attractive to him. Can you not see that? No, I can't see it yet. Not really. Maybe a little. I don't get impatient with him and I don't pick arguments or anything like that at all. I have no reason to blow up at him. I'm not really impatient when I'm with him, it's when I'm not with him that I get like this. You guys get the brunt of it, not WH! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I'm totally, 100% in Plan A when we're together.
BS (me)-26
WH-27
Dday-August 2006
0 kids
Married 4 years
NC established 1-26-07
status-working on it
"Sometimes, I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough...but I'll stand back up."
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
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Posts: 7,464 |
Stef - you are meeting his EN's - conversation, admiration etc. He is only bothering with you because you meet some of his needs. He still loves you. You are doing a great Plan A IMO - that builds up the love bank balance.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,431
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,431 |
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 853
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Posts: 853 |
Stef - you are meeting his EN's - conversation, admiration etc. He is only bothering with you because you meet some of his needs. He still loves you. You are doing a great Plan A IMO - that builds up the love bank balance. And here you are switching up on me again! A girl can't keep track of you! I know he still loves me. All I'm saying is that's why this is so frustrating. I know he still loves me, he knows he still loves me, but he's not ready to give up the A. I understand that, but it doesn't make it any easier. It all goes back to my impatience, which is something I need to work on. Can I go to bed now?
BS (me)-26
WH-27
Dday-August 2006
0 kids
Married 4 years
NC established 1-26-07
status-working on it
"Sometimes, I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough...but I'll stand back up."
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Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 8,297
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Todd, as far as I can see BigK is fine. He's just helping Steph.
Hey, I found some lyrics today (someone's got to put them here if you don't) that made me think of you Todd. They write a lot of songs about Georgia don't they?
"Georgia, Georgia, the whole day through
Just an old sweet song
Keeps Georgia on my mind
Talkin' 'bout Georgia
I'm in Georgia
A song of you
Comes as sweet and clear as moonlight through the pines
Other arms reach out to me
Other eyes smile tenderly
Still in peaceful dreams I see
The road leads back to you
Georgia, sweet Georgia, no peace I find
Just an old sweet song
Keeps Georgia on my mind
Other arms reach out to me
Other eyes smile tenderly
Still in peaceful dreams I see
The road leads back
It always leads back to you"
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