Todd,

you had quite a conversation with your son. I understand the part where you don't want to burden them with your marital troubles but at the same time I guess they may have the need to express their feelings and fears.

Your love bank could be restored to black numbers, meaning you could fall in love all over again with her if she would become honest and if she fullfil your emotional needs.

his lack of emotional maturity, lack of abilility to be emotionally initmate, personality, etc.

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he didn't have those traits when you dated him?

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Look! I copied text! Not cut & paste but at least something worked.

Interesting question larousse. ex is a very quite man, intoverted, lives by the saying better to remain quite & thought the fool than open your mouth & remove all doubt. Because of this I attributed characteristics to him he didn't possess. His words didn't prove me wrong because he didn't use many.

We knew each other for a litle less than a year when he went off to the army. We married during his first your in the service.

I think I was attracted to him in part because I thought he had his chit together. He's a smart man & I love that. He's calm & I like that too. He can be kind. Plus, I had been in a relationship, not just before him, with a very emotionally needy man who had tried to kill himself after I'd broken up with him. I think I went too far in the other direction.

Absolutely right Kiwi, there is no good time to D regarding the age of the kids. Maybe when they are very,very young, babies, so they don't have the same attachment & understanding of life with two parents. Then if there is remarriage they grow up with, one hopes, two sets of loving parents.

One thing I've always said about ex's gf is, I just want her to be good to my boys. Even if she was a part of why my M broke up, she's part of ex's life & my boys spend time with her.

OK, now it's time to get in bed & read. Can't wait to see what news comes our way tomorrow.

Bravo Nam. You know something, you can't cut texts that were not written by you on the post, edit, window or page. All the other texts not written by you and not in the write/edit window can't be modify. Maybe your mouse is ok after all. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I identify with what you say about seen qualities in your X that he didn't have. I have done that in the past.

No, we are "Dumb" and "Dumber".

But you didn't use the "Instant UBB Code".

Now that you have done it, you may need to take your mouse button to therapy. It must be awfully depressed.

It makes me really sad that the 2 most upbeat people on this thread are now the most depressed and stressed people on this thread.

I wish I could make this go away for all of us. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Pio, did you anticipate feeling this way after WW got home, even though you didn't want her back? Or did you think you would have felt differently when she was actually there?

WW says she wants the M. She says she wants me to give her a chance to prove herself. She says she is sorry about everything and feels terrible about the damage she has done. She doesn't want divorce and wants us to be together as a family forever. She says she has wanted to talk to me about all of it but was waiting for the right time.

On a side note, a lady moved into the office next to me yesterday and came by to introduce herself. I heard her name but instantly forgot it. This AM I saw her boxes stacked outside her office so I thought to check the name written on them to avoid that embarrassing "I'm sorry, what was your name again?". So I looked at the boxes. She has the same last name as OM. What are the odds? I can't win.

Hey Stph,

Kiwi is not depressed, she doesn't know that word, neither I'm depressed or sad.

Or are you talking about Nam's depressed mouse?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I dreaded her coming back. I am surprised I waited a week to tell her what I thought. I think I showed considerable self-restraint.

Basically she wants an opportunity to Plan A me. She wants a few months grace period to show me she is sincere.

Okay I hate to bring down the mood. Infidelity is depressing enough without my help. I'll lay off posting for a while until, as KiwiJ says, I extract my head.

but...?

I was talking about Nam's mouse! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

But if you need us, you know where we are.....

I agree. She is a big but(t). Well said larousse.

Don't quit posting! We're all here for you...that's what this place is about.

It seems to me that WW needs to do the extraction.

I have discovered the root cause of international terrorism and I know how to stop it.

Maybe you are better off staying in touch with us. At least you have friends who will let you blow off steam.

Good evening all,

Well it seems to be a night for raw emotions on TKO. I am currently sitting here sobbing my heart out. These words you wrote Todd cut me like a knife but they also give me so much hope for the future.

From Todd

"I had put them aside because I knew that WW had lost her Mom, DS3 went off to college, she went through a MLC and then hit menopause. You just flex when your spouse hits those low and challenging points in their lives. I put my own happiness aside because I truly understood what she was going through."


Your reaction is exactly how I assumed my H would react to my illness. Instead as it turns out he turned his back on me and found his comfort in someone elses arms and left me to fend on my own. He was tested and found wanting. You put into words so clearly, exactly what I needed so badly.
I honestly thought we would be there for each other.


But the men on this thread give me hope and faith in the future that maybe down the line I will find a real man. I once again believe that men like you do exist. I am so glad to have met each of you.

Tonight I will just cry for us all and tomorrow will be a new day full of wonderful possibilities and hopefully happiness.

Love from Beth