Thank goodness he was only 17 at the time. If he asked for one today, I don't know.

Well then considering his age at the time, I'm guessing those were Alice B. Toklas brownies he was making in that Easy Bake oven. I admire the creativity. Smart boy.

Do you remember the Seinfeld where Jerry had a girlfriend with a vintage toy collection including an Easy Bake oven? They kept feeding her turkey The tryptophan would put her to sleep so they could play with her toys. Elaine used the oven.

Have a good day, Pio, and wield your Shield of Good Humor well. En guard... If that doesn't work, whack 'em with your Sword of Wrath. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

t&l

At the risk of another t/j, WW and I are scheduled to have our first real talk tonight. Todd gave me a crib sheet. We'll see how it goes. I have a few deal-breakers.

I think it's impossible to t/j your own thread. When you do it yourself, it's called "giving necessary direction." Good luck on the talk. You may need the Sword and the Shield both, before you're done.

t&l

Well I used to think that but learned that I was mistaken. I have since learned that this is not my thread either. In fact, I am thinking of starting one. Some people do not allow us to discuss infidelity because it is depressing. Actually I tend to agree with that which begs the question: why is infidelity so depressing anyway? Why can't we just turn that frown upside down?

Okay t/j over. I'll update on how things went (but maybe on my own thread!)

I gave it to Pio because I knew he was tired of sleeping on the bare mattress.

Pio and Todd, you so often make me laugh. I want to say that I admire you both for your determination to find humor in the often-humorless life situation in which you have found yourselves. If you'd read The Sad Saga of OtherSusan the Stupid (which I realize you haven't, and am not recommending that you do), you'd know that I find this characteristic to be incredibly valuable in dealing with a difficult life. I don't know that a sense of humor makes things better. It does make them less bad...and sometimes that's the best you can do.

t&l

It's like I've said a hundred times - if you can't laugh about infidelity, what's the point of even having it?

Good move. Avoiding tornado season.

Only in the presence of kryptonite.

That sounds much worse than a regular affair. Does that mean there is no hope? Since this is what he did, and why...I'm confused.

You're probably right about it though. He said it started when they started talking to each other and they both realized how unhappy they were with their spouses. Things escalated from there. And he hit me with the divorce decision about 2-3 weeks before I found out about the A.

I do, however, think he misses me more than he anticipated and he's more confused than he thought he would be.

BTW Todd, no need to be sorry...we all understand what you're going through.

I'm no expert but IMO it's better for you than a "regular" affair. There is no real emotional bond.

So, it's the "fog" speak when he says there is an emotional bond? He told me once that she makes him happier than anyone else ever has, including me! I don't believe him and I know I'm not supposed to be listening to him, I just want to be clear...

It's just scary to think that he wanted out of our M so badly that he had to do this. It's just something else I have to understand now! *sigh* <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I can't go into all the details but I think, if it is true, I would treat it as a positive rather than a negative. I'll try to go into it more in the AM if BigK doesn't get there first.

I just heard that there was an earthquake off the coast of NZ. Quakes at sea can cause tsunamis. Everyone okay down there in NZ and Aus?

Well, I didn't feel the earth move.

Earthquakes are a dime a dozen down here. They don't call us the "shaky isles" for nothing.

BTW Pio I had an exit A. At least that's what I'd have called it at the time. It means you don't intend to cake eat, you intend to start a new life with the OP. I thought once my H found out about it he would say, ok, that's it we're divorced. I thought it would be too insurmountable to recover from and was a way out.

When I didn't get kicked out, I rethought everything and realised my marriage was worth saving and worth fighting for.

Hi everybody....I am back and catching up on the thread.

Hi 2much,



I agree....Yeak! no WS for me...dealt 6 months with one and I was a total basketcase...was continually getting him confused with S...

...which is why I am in PLAN B...and refuse to 'engage' with WS....my terms are clear: NC with WS as long as there is contact with OW...quite a SIMPLE little rule...although not EASY to do!



...my WS, OTOH, WAS radically honest...and thought THAT would then make the A OK! ...WS.....Yeak..Yeak...Yeak.... insensitive, selfish, inconsiderate...



...which is why PLAN B, when faced with a WS who totally 'doesn't get it', is the only sane thing to do!

Hi Nams,



...same here.... one of my lowest points came when WS thought I should be glad that at least he was not 'walking out' on me by going to the cornerstore to pick up a pack of cigarettes and never came back....

...and I thought to myself...this is the standard WS is measuring himself against? ...and just for a minute.... I thought the guy who walked out and never came back may actually have been a better option.... rather than have a WS who was trying to JUSTIFY and EXCUSE his choices....and realized that I deserved better than that!



I am sorry, Todd.... please please stay away from WW....and protect yourself....just the fact that she came to pick you up while continuing to talk on the phone, to me, is a really bad sign.... no respect... I remember the feeling when I realized that my WS just didn't 'get it'..... couldn't/didn't want to see the impact of his choices on me, the boys, our friends,family....when he was basically destroying our little family.... he JUST didn't 'get it'....and it hurt soooo bad! I am sorry, Todd, I really am...




Boy, Beth...you're catching on quick! ...

Good luck, Pio, with your 'talk'.... I agree with BigK, BTW.... if G is wanting to prove herself.... you will need to help her....by putting the dots very very close together!

Will be back to update re trip!