This site has been very helpful as I try to deal with my W's infidelity. I didn't know there were so many of us out there. My wife started taking dance lessons two years ago and ended up with the guitarist in the band.<BR>She never went to bars before - now she hangs out with the band in them. We have three little ones, and I'm not about to walk away from them, so I find myself in this seemingly<BR>endless state of waiting. As so many have posted, it is important to take care of yourself. I know that now. Meanwhile, I'm looking for success stories to keep my spirits high while I do what I can to keep things going. Anyway, thanks to all of you great people who are taking the time to help out and tell your story. It really helps.

Charlie,<P>I'm in the midst of a success story, but we're not finished yet. Things were bad up until a few weeks ago... really bad. My H couldn't forgive me, I couldn't forgive myself. I think, unfortunately for betrayed spouses, it takes the betrayer to make a major change for things to begin to turn around.<P>My affair was short, one time of intercourse, and it's been over for four months (longer than the stupid thing lasted) and my H could not seem to forgive me. The thing that I did was to just turn it all over to God. Whatever I was doing prior to that wasn't working, I read the books, I loved my H and the OM was out of my heart, and I begged everyone who was touched by my stupidity to forgive me. I couldn't forgive myself. I realized that there was hope, that my H did come home (he had moved out for a short time) and that I loved him more than ANY other man on earth. I watched him lose 60 pounds, turn into a shell of who he once was. I basically "let go" and "let God" work. I don't know if you are a spiritual man, but being able to pray or mediate helps. I will send prayers (right now!) that your W will get her head on straight and come home to her family. Just remember, that's when the real work will begin.<P><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

I'm sorry for everything you are going through, but it is possible to make it through with your head held high and your marriage intact. I also turned everything over to God and you know the biggest gift he gave me?....calm. He kept me sane by helping keep my emotions in check and not letting me hurt myself or others. Believe me there were times I wanted to kill the other woman, even though my husband left her immedietely upon discovery. But, I thought about my family, my career, and the marriage I was going to try to hang onto. My husband and I have been working on our reconciliation for 8 months now and everything is going way better than expected. We are looking at buying a house and starting a family within the next year. So there is hope out there!!

I'm sorry for everything you are going through, but it is possible to make it through with your head held high and your marriage intact. I also turned everything over to God and you know the biggest gift he gave me?....calm. He kept me sane by helping keep my emotions in check and not letting me hurt myself or others. Believe me there were times I wanted to kill the other woman, even though my husband left her immedietely upon discovery. But, I thought about my family, my career, and the marriage I was going to try to hang onto. My husband and I have been working on our reconciliation for 8 months now and everything is going way better than expected. We are looking at buying a house and starting a family within the next year. So there is hope out there!!

Charlie,<BR>Welcome to the board.<BR>Keep posting, okay?

Hi Charlie -<P>Welcome to MB posting!!!<P>I'm so sorry that you have to join us in this painful experience....<P>I am glad that you have found this place and that you have learned and gained strength for what lies ahead. <P>It's a long bumpy and terrible road, but there is always some hope to be had. Learn the ins and outs of infidelity. See what you can do to improve your marriage and homelife and start putting into practice if you haven't already.<P>We're all here to vent to, learn from and lean on so work out any frustrations or strategies with us....so there's no lovebusters with your Wife.<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba