As posted on ENs:

Hold,

At this point, I don't have a choice in the divorce, so the only positive I can see it to get through it with a minimum of damage. You may appreciate my perspective at some point in your future. I'll state this again so it is abundantly clear; this divorce is not my choice and not what I want. It will happen regardless of how I feel about it. I'm trying to put a positive spin on this after crying for the last 24-hours. I'm trying to paint a good image for what I want in the future. I hope that you don't end up at this point, but I'll bet that you will. I didn't think it woul ever happen to me.

So, on to the news. We spent quite a bit of time yesterday negotiating and arguing over our divorce settlement. I have posted detail over at TKO on GQII. I briefly saw my therapist last night and then went home. I was a complete emotional wreck and thought that I would pass-out at one point. After another crying jag, I settled down and we talked. We had several sticking points and we went over them discussing what we wanted. The result was that I keep my retirement and 401K and I will not pay legal fees and will not pay child support. She gets the house and assumes all debt for her car and the house and assumes all household bills and expenses. I agreed to move out of the house and packed up my car last night. I stayed at home last night for what may be the last time. An old friend who is a real friend will take me in until I can arrange some things. I will move into his house tonight.

I had a very bad morning and cried a lot. It was difficult to drive and to make it to work, yet here I am. I screwed up the days and my therapist appointment is actually tonight, which will be handy.

This has been a tough week. It was tough to leave my house. I'm giving up about $150,000.00 in equity, not including contents. I will be taking a lot of my personal possesions but will also leave the house basically as it is.

I will be starting over from scratch. I have a house in mind and will need to finance the entire amount. I will need to furnish it on what may be a limited budget. I have a lot of challenges ahead of me. This is not an easy course and it is not fun. I will need time to heal before I become the "Fun Guy".

What ended up happening really revolved around my retirement. I have a traditional retirement plan and a 401K. STBXW has a 401K. Our 401Ks have about equal balances. The cash-out value of my retirement was about $230,000.00, ut that's not the real value of the plan. I basically have 3-years to o until retirement because I started at this company when I was a baby. I will be 50 at retirement time. At my retirement time, the cash-out value then will be nearly $1,000,000.00. If she took half now, I would end up with far less than half of the $1,000,000.00 due to the nature it acrues.

So the whol deal basically came down to whether or not I could keep the retirement. She gave me a vague counter-offer to my $85,000.00 proposal, and I said to her that I would give her the best deal she woul ever get and I did. We shook on it and committed to it. There will be a few codicils, but know that involve money. She said the laywer would probably try to talk her out it it, but he works for her and she wants our deal. We both felt immediately relieved.

I was really broken up this morning. We've lived together in that house for 20-years. I poured a lot of time and energy into that house. I asked the STBXW for a final hug. She said that would not be our last. I don't know what she means by that.

Anyway, we agreed that I would visit Saturday afternoon to take care of anything I've forgotten, etc. She also said something about dinner together next week. I feel that we both want to be good friends. I think that it is very possible for us to do so. I don't want to read anything else into the future with STBXW, but I have explicitly left the door open for her. I asked her to define the pace.

Thanks for all of your support and I hope none of you end up where I've been.

Thanks, nams.

There still some action on my thread over at ENs. I am feeling better this morning and have had some fruitful email conversations with the wife. Life goes on.

Todd, I hope that you are feeling better now.

Awesome work nams...you're so talented. I'm jealous!

Nams,

Are you familiar with this guy?

http://www.tomturnerporcelain.com/index.htm

Thanks stph20...



stph20... please don't shoot the messenger...but you are living with a WS....nothing to understand...and I think Pio is being very insightful and hope it helps...



(((((((((((((stph20))))))))))))))

I am soooo sorry stph20....MANY here have lived the hurt....it can be unbearable....keep telling yourself that it will get better.... 'wait it out' before making any major decision...when you do....why would you leave rather than WS going back to his mom? Is you 'leaving' what you really want?

(((((((((((2much)))))))))))

Booka...sorry to hear about the turn of events in your situation...

(((((((((((((Booka)))))))))))))))))




Hi Nams...thanks for the wishes....I see..being a busy bee! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />



Sorry, Nams...I will have to side with Todd on this one! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Big hug to everybody else.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Okay, I have way too much time on my hands. I have been thinking about the Earth's orbit around the Sun. On average, it takes 365 days for the Earth to complete its orbit. Since Einstein taught us the relationship between velocity, time and mass, wouldn't it be neat if we could slow time? Let's say we could cut it in half for discussion purposes.

Our "aging" is defined by years. If we could devise a way to cause the Earth's orbit to take twice as long, by moving the Earth twice as far from the Sun as it now is, it would then take 730 days for the Earth's orbit around the Sun. That means, Ladies and Gentlemen, as soon as we accomplish this, you would be half the age you are now. People would live to be >150 on average. Long livers would see >200! Moreover, to those who believe in or who are otherwise concerned about global warming, this solution would ease climate change problems. Now I know what you are thinking: (i) how in the world Todd, do we affect the Earth's orbit to double itself? and (ii) err, hey Todd, wouldn't it get very, very cold?

Here are my solutions: Mount giant, and I mean giant, rocket engines at the poles. File them simultaneously and gradually. We do not want sudden starts because the centrifugal force could sling folks off the face of the Earth. We would also need to be careful so that we did not affect the Earth's rotation. Well, that assumes that we still would desire 24 hour days. Hmm...that gives me a great idea. I will discuss later. Anyway, think of the effect on the Earth like a tennis ball with top spin. It stands to reason that as we move farther away from the Sun, things will get very cold. So, if it is true that burning fossil fuels, cow belching, Freon, natural gas, etc, all we need is to bring back Freon, quit eating beef so that the supply of cows will grow, require maximum 10 MPG in new cars, replace double pane windows with single pane, replace efficient furnaces with inefficient ones – well you get the idea. According to Einstein’s Special Theory of Relativity, as velocity increases, mass decreases and time slows. That means we would be younger and loose weight at the same time!! Anyone interested in joining the movement?

The above reference to 24 hour days alludes to my frustration with time zones. I am vehemently against them. It is patently unfair for the early time zones to see “Desperate Housewives” before the US. I mean the US produces that work of art and we have to wait in line to see each episode? I don’t think so. Here is my solution: As we fire the engines, to relocate the Earth’s orbit, simultaneously fire engines mounted at the Equator and speed the rotation of the Earth. Indeed, speed it so much that a rotation of the Earth only takes one hour. That simply means in the course of one hour, you would have what we now call a day. Since each existing time zone would cycle through their shortened day in one hour, no need to time zones. You also would not need as much sleep. Well, at least you would not get as much sleep. The work day would be a mere 20 minutes. Any takers?

[color:"blue"] Todd,

you really need to get some sleep. [/color]

[color:"orange"] I thougt the whole [color:"pink"] pink[/color] shorts fashion was their attempt to show how cute they could be. [/color] <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Thanks, luna, it has been a truly crappy last two days. I only fear it will get worse rather thn better.

Todd, my man. You would need to mount the giant, giant rocket engines geosynchronously over the equator to shove the earth into an orbit that is twice as large. Even that wouldn't be completely proper as the earth is tilted 23 degrees or so. Would yet net any effect by having the rockets at the poles? Would they be firing simultaneously, or would you use one for acceleration and one for decceleration? If you used the pole rockets, you would remove the earth form its eliptical plane and perhaps way father away from the sun than simply doubling the size of the orbit within the eliptical plane. The velocity of the orbit would remain the same in our scenario, therefore negating any Einsteinian losses.

I read an article once that compared the current weather with the weather that would occur if the earth has a truly circular orbit rather than an eliptical orbit. As I recall, the climate change was very little from what it is now.

Doubling the size fo the elipse of the earth's orbit would not take us out nrealy as far as Mars is. Mars' climate is really not that extreme. Equatorial temperatures on Mercury can reach 450°C and though signatures of ice craters have been detected at high latitudes with temperatures reaching below -184°C. There are days on Mercury that would actually be comfortable for humans termperature-wise if it had a significant atmosphere.

larousse,

I hope you are safe from the bomb blasts of yesterday. Take care down there.

Todd, to carry your theory (idea??) further, how about turning the world upside down at the same time.

It might give you people some idea of what it's like to live at the bottom on the world.

I'm all for a 20 minute work day, but wouldn't it be relative, proportionally speaking.

... and how long would SF last for - 3 seconds as per normal. LMAOPMP

I kill me.

Thanks Booka,

Sadly our ability to make our social problems worse is endless.

Kiwi,
7 months? You may even get a grandaughter or grandson from the trip. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

2Much,

you may want to try to 'sell' him some MB concepts as the Policy of Undivaded Attention and Radical Honesty. I understand your need for a clear declaration of compromise for marriage or divorce but you may want to try something like half a year. Half a year of making you his only entreteinment companion. No XOW's, no female close friends. My unprofessional and unmarried impression is that is highly unusual that someone with his past behavior has such a suden change of mind. Could it be that he touched bottom? If it's the case he would need your help to relinke the romantic feelings in the marriage and totally throw himself in the family life.
Good luck.



Nams,

The last time XBF and I talked I had the impression he was under the influence of something. I asked him not to call me again. Some days later he called me or so I think. I heard his voice 'fighting' with a woman for the phone. Lots of 'f' word and then click.
This weekend he send a e-mail full of self pity. He has problems with a year finalcial support he had gotten from a fundation. He hasn't delivered a written inform and pics. He tried to imply that I was causing him stress and making him incapable of working by not talking to him.
One month was enough for him to get in lots of financial trouble and to get me in trouble too.
I answered him with a state of 'our' financial issues and asked him to repay me the money he had taken from my debit card. It was the money to pay my car credit and an extra year payment of it. He had also used the money I was going to spend on a fly ticket for me. He had convinced me or I let myself to be convinced that it was best to buy three cheaper tickets for him than one for me. He only bought one. In theory he has the money for two more flight tickets.

I asked him to respect my position to not to talk to him and so far he hasn't called.

I feel a little sad and hurt. I was very trusting with him. In a twisted way it's good that he shows this side of him. We never had economical issues before. Now his avoidance of what he did and the attempts to blame me for my lack of support to his work, make him less appealing to my eyes.

When someone takes adavantage of other one in Mexico, we say: Me llevó al baile. He-she, took me to the ball. I feel like he took me to the ball and there was not my favorite music.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

No problem. All we need do is to strategically mount some engines along lines of longitude and fire away.


Well, Einstein didn't call it the theory of relativity for nothing.

It would be five minutes calculated as follows: 1/24 * 120 = 5

[color:"purple"] I didn't know it could last that long.[/color]

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

LMAO Larousse

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I have a much cheaper and albeit far more practical solution. If you want to slow time, just make everyone on earth read your posts. They seem like an eternity. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Your equatorial spin idea reminds me way too much of the "yellow peril". China would definitely veto the idea from the bad memories from THAT event.

LMAOPMP!!!!