Larousse... how are you taking his 'attempts'?

You know you should. You think he's the man of your dreams but it's all just fantasy. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Did you not read my post about HAL? Dave removed his circuits and he shut down. Yes, I am HAL. And no, because of Pio's SA comment, I will never tell the derivation of the name HAL.





So Luna, you are going to SF? When do you leave for San Francisco?

DD has just left SF. In 12 hours she'll be touching down on home ground.

All New Zealanders get a huge thrill as they come in to land over Auckland. First you cross the sea and see all the beaches then you see the green hills of home.

It's the most wonderful feeling in the world.

zzzzzzzz

Thanks <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Luna - That was a fantastic post to Stef. Thankyou.

Jen, hope you and your daughter have a wonderful reunion. She'll be so excited to see you, but no doubt exhausted from the journey too. Happy days to you all! TT

Hello everyone,

Good news! I have just completed three days of extensive medical testing and got an all clear verdict. Yipppeee.. I try to tell myself I am not worrying but then the doctor walks in with the results and you realize you have
been holding your breath for three days. Time to walk on the beach and get sand between my toes, time to hug my boys if they want it or not, time to buy a winter coat after all etc. etc. etc. I don't go back for another three months - life is so good!

There has been so much happening with you all while I have been gone it will take me ages to catch up. I will sit and read and post tomorrow. I just wanted to share my good news tonight. I can't get the smile from my face.

Beth.

Congratulations Beth!

Congrats Beth! I am smiling for you too!

Todd what's going on with you? Aside from lyrics and geekspeak I haven't heard much. Are you feeling better?

Stph,
Being the human doormat, I feel entitled to speak up on your sitch. Cake-eaters thrive on plan A...it makes everything so convenient for them with pretty much no strings attached...since we don't LB and DJ and only let them know how their actions make us feel there is very little consequence for those in the fog. The whole point of plan A is to give them a frame of reference for when plan B goes into action. This was explained to me repeatedly but I was in my own fog of denial trying to protect myself from pain. If you have identified his cake-eating ways, which you have; done a great plan A, which you have; it's time to move on to B. I wish I had taken the advice but with kids it makes it a bit more difficult. If you want a chance at a true R then IMHO I think you should go to a very dark B.

Kiwi, glad you will get to see your DD soon. Hope the reuinion is everything you have been expecting.

Hi Luna, Larousse, BK, Pio, Booka and TT.

WH is coming over to spend time with kids today. Although he is out of the house it is not a plan B. He wants to come back but has avoided any discussion of his plan if he is permitted to return. I have been great with him out...my stomach is no longer nauseated 24/7 and I don't wonder/worry about his whereabouts.

I dread any discussion of return. He feels he has already met 2 of my dealbreakers by establishing NC and getting new job. My only other conditions were total honesty and transparency...

If I allow return and he seems willing to attempt R I may pursue the MB home study course. I know BK says he used it. WH actually even agreed to return to MC for my sake if he comes home.

It kinda stinks I have a little taste of anxiety free living so I don't know if I really want to try and put myself back out there. I would like to put down my conditions on paper but WH already made a joke that my farewell email to him read like a list of terrorist demands!!!

Well...have to work through my pile of deadlines. Good in that it gets my mind off reality...bad cause reality is always right there waiting for ya!

Oh Todd, it's not the product it's the process that will enrich you. Didn't you read my story about the woman, a therapist, who took a seven week class & came away with nothing because she was unable to make the "perfect" bowl?

If you end up divorcing & are looking for a way to meet people try a pottery class. Mine & those of the other instructors where I teach are overwhelmingly taken by women.

Hey all TKOers! Hope today is a good day for all!

Hi nams,

I am not concerned about making the perfect bowl. I don't even know if I can make an imperfect bowl. Do you have other artistic abilities, painting, etc?

Sure, Larousse...you can join me anytime! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Todd..leaving this weekend for a week..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

TKO group....please don't get into toooooo much trouble while I am away...so I won't have as much to catch up when I return....and sorry....no, don't have a laptop so I can get 'hooked up' anywhere..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />



Glad to have your approval, BigK... PLAN B is scary <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />....I myself couldn't figure out how I would manage WITHOUT contact with the person I had 'shared' my life with for the past TWENTY years (I know, for some of you it's even longer!)...particularly when I was at my worse...a total basketcase....I tell you....glad to have had friends who were ready to 'pick me up with a spoon'...I was such a mess....but a 'determined' mess!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

....I consider PLAN B is one part 'leap of faith'... and one part 'survival instinct'.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />



Great, Beth....it's the kind of news, I think, that helps put 'things' in perspective....



2much....I encourage you to do so.... and not just for your WS...but to help YOU keep in line.... and NOT compromise...and remain consciously aware of the high risk of a WS 'manipulating' a BS by knowing all the weak spots! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Thanks luna and 2much...I appreciate your advice so far.

I'm still weighing my options, <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> but I'm printing out posts of advice to me and will go over them all this weekend.

Congratulations Beth, I'm so glad to see that you're back and had such great news!

Kiwi, I can't imagine how excited you are waiting for your DD's arrival back home. I hope she arrives safely and had a blast while she was gone!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Hello to everyone else! I hope everyone is doing well. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

stph20,

Some times you can gain persepctive by reading the old posts of your thread. It might help you guide your decisions. On the other hand, sometimes you just re-live the pain. Tread lightly there.

Thanks booka

You're right, I never thought about re-reading the old stuff. I'll try that. If it starts to hurt too much, I'll stop.

I'm going to try to take a break this weekend and Plan A my a** off.

How are you doing today booka?

It's not as gorgeous today as it has been the past 2 days. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> And they're calling for flurries in the morning!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

Hi stef,

I was an active member on a site similar to MB and had quite a thread there at one time. I used to read all of the posts in my thread everyday. I found it to be a very productive process. As you hurl through this mess, it is very easy to lose perspective. By reading old posts, it reminded me of how far I had come. I used to laugh at myself. I was so full of anger and hurt it was amazing. I can think back about it now and just laugh.

Life is what it is. There are smooth days and lumpy days. What is different is our attitude. You can read your early posts and look for reminders of hurt and pain. Or you can read them and find lessons, mileposts and humor. I encourage you to look for the latter.

Thanks Todd.

I will do that. I'm hoping I can learn all over again what I need to or laugh at how silly I was "back then".

Here's the news.

I left work early at 16:00 yestreday to look at the inside of the house I want to buy. It just convinced me more that it is the house for me. The realtor was hot but maried and drove me around in a CLK-550 convertible. Woo! As we were leaving the hosue, she asked if I wanted to put a contract on it. I resisted my urges and said show me 2-3 others in the same price range and in some specific locations. I doubt I'll find anything else that I would like better.

alked to DD13 and gave her the news about the house. Drove to CH's house where I'm currently staying and STBXW called just before I pulled into the driveway. I parked and we talked about 45-minutes about all kinds of things. She was even what I would describe as chatty. She asked for my advice and opinion on several household items. It was fairly pleasant. I will pay a scheduled visit tomorrow.

I then made a delicious dinner for myself of sauted (sp) tilapia with fresh luime juice and topped with salsa. Very tasty. I haven't really cooked for myself in years and it felt good. I picked on an iron and ironing board yesterday. CH and his DD6 arive home late and I had some familiy time with them. It brought back memories of my DD at that age. CH's DD6 actually asked me to read her a book, which I did. I did not sleep great with too many thoughts of the house going around my haad.

I am far enough away from the fitness center that its impractical to go there. They have a small fitness center here at work so I tried it for the first time and had a good workout of 50/50 elliptical and treadmill. I burned up lunch and some extra.

I talked about tonight's plan with CH last night. He has DD6 every other weekend and every day except Tuesday and this is his weekend without DD6. He caught me during my workout and gave a thumbs up to a place I've wanted to go to for ahppy hour. I will assume that we will do our best to get happy.

It's been a good day, the second good day in a row. Hopefully its the start of a trend.

One funny/odd thing. My parents live in Michigan and so does STBXW father and step mother. All of there parents get together from time to time for dinner, etc. They have been very friendly in the past. STBXW told me on the phone that my parents declined a dinner invitation to her parents and that her dad was upset by that. I've been talking to my mom about twice a day lately. She said nothing to me about it. I asked her about it and sshe said she wouldn't be comfortable going to STBXW's parents and may not be for some time. So there are repercussions beyond our immediate sphere. My mom said that my dad was very concerned about my welfare which frankly surprised me. My family has been very supportive of me, but I'm not rusing into their arms as I have to stand on my own.

It's the weekend, everyone have a good one. I will do my best to do the same.