booka, the positive attitude is great, but YIKES! slow down! Your W filed for D what...last week?

You said...
You're not going to "jump into anything serious" but you "want meaningful SF." What the he!! does that mean? If I'm not mistaken "meaningful" sex is between people in a meaningful relationship which generally means a serious relationship. Otherwise it's just physical, get your jollies sex. Not wrong but empty.

Look, cleary you want sex, sheesh, join the club. However, unless you're willing to have sex with just anyone who's willing don't expect meaningful sex. I think you're looking more for fun sex, sex without strings, great, wonderful intimate sex...without the intimacy. It doesn't work like that sweetums.

Your could be new sex partner is 34 you're 47. I get the flattery in that but what else?

No disrespect intended. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hi Nams,

I was sitting here pondering a reply for Booka but you said it all very eloquently so I will just ditto you on your comments. Have you come to any decision about a career change?

I am also considering a life style change. My stores are doing well but it was never what I wanted to do in life.
Think I am just searching at the moment though, so will wait on making any decision until my M is sorted out.

Booka and all

Guess your post Booka brings up a question I have been thinking about though. I am torn on the subject of going on a date before we D. Yes, I have been invited out but refused. Trouble is I feel like I have lost a couple of years as it is and I certainly am not getting any younger. I also feel that my H broke our marriage vows and doesn't give a hoot so are they still a binding? Can we have a round table discussion on this? I am undecided at this point as I always keep my word and I guess would still
feel like I am breaking it. I've forgotten what sex is anyway and I am sure it is over rated........

2Much,

I am so sorry you had such an emotional weeekend, I know how exhausting it is. You sound like a wonderful mother and I am sure your children will be fine. It is very hard on them though and I could actually slowly kill my H for the pain he inflicted on my boys. I can live with my pain but their pain causes me great agony.
How old are your children? Do you know where and when you will be moving yet?

BigK,

Nice to hear from you. I'm great and looking forward to the holidays with a relish. I refuse to let anyone or anything spoil them on us, even if it means H is included. How have you been?

Todd,

Were you suggesting my comment was a little Sam Kinisonish?
I guess it was but it was also honest. lol
Now and then my anger at my H gets the better of me and I forget to be a lady. Oh well, the secret is out now.

Would you still consider R if your WW would meet your needs and requirements? I go to IC but my H has refused and also refuses MC. That is one requirement I have demanded and he is considering it. I also demand NC of course, but even if he agrees how will I ever trust him again? Trust is my IC issue for this week. I'm glad you had such a great time with you son, they make everything worth while.

Pio,

Are you getting anywhere near to an update on your M ?
I hope it is going well for you.

To everyone else - Hello!

Beth.

Hello TKOers.

I've had a very busy weekend and two days off work catching up with DD. It's been great.

Today, though, I spent all day in the garden. Just as well we don't have "seeing" MB as I couldn't look scruffier if I tried. Tired but happy though. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

booka,

So you posted that you went to a "bra/restaurant". Is that like a "gentlemen's club"? Maybe you call them different things up there. Look I know 2regret said that none of us is getting any younger but I don't think 2 more weeks until your "30 day" divorce is over will hurt you that much.

As I said before, SF is between two people. It may mean nothing to you but it might to your partner. If all you want is SF (and that is pretty clear from your 3 years of posting on the EN forum), just be straight with your partner. You remind me of that line from "Rhinestone" - "You're so horny, the crack of dawn ain't safe". If meaningless SF is all you want, go hire a professional. It will save you money.

It is clear that SF means a lot to you. It is also clear that STBXW has not given it to you in years in any great quantity. You sound like a kid in a candy store. BTW, meeting women in bars - is that the kind of woman you want to be with? The kind that picks up guys in bars? Maybe it is. Dunno.

You also realize, of course, that if you buy a house, you will no longer be able to hit on "hot" realtors.

nams,

I have decided to try pottery but since I'm not sure I'll like it, I am on the low budget approach. I turned my drill press upside-down and mounted a piece of scrap plywood on the chuck. The lowest speed I can get is about 2000 RPM and I am having trouble keeping the clay off the walls. It is a really messy hobby. I have an old microwave oven that I plan to use for firing the finished work but it is only 1800 watts. Is that enough power?

As far as my update, maybe I'm not quite ready just yet. Yesterday was a bad day and I ended it by breaking my little toe so sleeping was quite difficult too. Let's just say that R will take a long time and that I have little to no feelings for WW at the moment. I can generally live with that but we had an "event" two days ago that really set me off. The D talk came up again (by me) but WW refuses and says she won't give up the fight.

Why? Why does it keep coming up when she doesn't want it?

How did you break your toe? Sounds like a good day. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

What is with men and Brazilian girls?
OK, I know...

Hi all!
I could not post for a while but I've been reading and wishing you all the best.

I know I was not missed ... but I missed posting here. Sometimes it's just hard to find time/ energy/ courage to post.

Am I in recovery yet?
I feel lots of anger towards WH. He has had NC since letter was sent. He's been very present with kids and we've been trying reasonably to meet ENs of each other. He is looking for a job, so I guess sometimes he's just not all that happy.
But I don't know if I care about him like before. Everything (and I mean everything) reminds of A. Will it ever end?
I guess I am in a love/hate relationship, though I never believed they really existed!

Okay, what is it?

Could it be "The Girl From Ipanema" or the "Lambada" dance?

Please share.

Er, perhaps it's the wax.

estrela,

I think you and I are going through about the same thing. I know what you mean about love/hate. Yesterday I was begging for a divorce and now I am back to "happy" recovery. It is just weird.

I don't know about men and Brazilian women. I certainly have my opinion. But, in booka's case and based on his last post, I'm not sure nationality makes all that much difference. The operative word is "women". <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

It's just that BraSilian girls are really ...??? nice? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />
My WH loves to tell his friends that he pick me from a catalogue. How disrespectful is that!? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

"I guess I am in a love/hate relationship, "

Maybe that's whats keeping me still... If indiference hits I don't think I cant stay.

Event tho, the love moments are getting rare these days <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Hi Pio,
Are you in R with your toe? Maybe it works easier than with G...JK <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Jen,
wax = pain
Why woman have to go through this??? OK, I know again...

Todd,
I loved the story you posted a coouple of pages ago. Thanks.

I finally learned how to insert gremlins. Are they still "in"? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Estrela - this thread just moves so damn fast - you go away for a week and just get time to skim and whammo you don't have a clue what is happening. I have missed you and everyone.

Beth - Thanks for your kind words - I am doing very well thanks. IMO if you are not divorced you should not date. That would be considered by most on MB as an affair. In Fact there is a school of thought that says you should remain single 1 year for every 5 years of marriage before you are ready for a new relationship.

I sympathise with all of you who are on a SF diet. With no deference to Techie, SF is my #1 need so I understand where all of you are coming (or not) from.

Hi to all my good friends on TKO. You too Pio.

So LW, where have you been hiding?

I will say my WW is trying. What I am finding out is that she still doesn't seem to pressing any of the right EN buttons. She is putting out the effort and it's not like I'm trying to be difficult. I just keep asking myself am I happier with her here or when she was in Mexico. The answer is when she was in Mexico. I haven't gotten any further than that. She isn't trying to make me miserable - but she's doing it.

We had an "event". Months ago we gave an exercise machine to our neighbor because I couldn't add enough weight to it for it to be useful to me but WW really liked it. Neighbor is divorcing and moving to bachelor's quarters here on camp and needs to "downsize" his possessions. So he asked if I wanted the machine back. Since WW really likes it, I asked her. She asked why he couldn't just take it with him to his new place. I told her that bachelor's quarters were smaller and it might not fit. She said bachelor's quarters came in all sizes

[aside: WW used to carry on her A with pool boy in a friend's (of pool boy) bachelor quarters AFAIK]

I said I had not been in any bachelor's quarters and asked why she would know about all the different types and how many she had actually been in since I only knew of one.

Anyway, it just got worse and worse and worse.

She said it was my fault for getting angry about her comment. I said it was apparently my fault she had the A and it was my fault I got angry about her A so obviously everything was my fault. I said I was not angry about the comment - I was angry about the A. I said she was selfish in having the A and she was selfish in expecting me to pretend all was well and good when she decided to return to the M. I was never given any choice in any of this even now.

I could go on but don't need to. I think she did a lot to wait the situation out and try to calm me down and she seems to be taking a long-term view to recovery.

But there are times when I still hate her and, when I don't I feel very little at all. I am in more of an indifference/hate relationship.

Beth... if your M is over except for the technical stuff.... I would say start dating if you want... just hold off on the sex for a while. Be fair to whomever you date... but really, if the is NO chance at you getting back with your WH... your life does not need to be put on hold for a legal process. Just MHO.

Don't worry. I knew I wasn't included in the "good friends" pool. You're safe.

Hi BigK,

You came back in good shape!

I agree that dating only after D is the way to go. 1 for 5 though seems harsh.

I was reading steph's post and wondering why her Plan B has to be put in place so quickly?

I had not had a chance for a real Plan B. I left for Brasil for 2 weeks when A was still on. When I came back WH told me he wanted to stay with me and work on M. So I guess it did help to be away.

I would say not. It still gives me tremendous pain and it does not seem to be running a parallel course with the rest of my toes. It is running its own direction. It gives me no pleasure and I wish it were gone.

The wax?

Todd,

Now you're just being obtuse.

Hellooooo??? Earth to Todd!

Brasilian Bikini Wax.