BigK,

I only read the end but it seems that the point before the Plan B chat was that her WS won't have NC?

NO ONE ELSE IS ALLOWED TO LEAVE DAMNIT

Larousse Melody Lane said it best yesterday on this thread, TKO. It is her Husbands second affair. He came home without permission and without agreeing to anything other than to have his cake and eat it too. He has daily contact with OW. Affair will NEVER end under these circumstances and Stef is just enabling his behaviour. I cannot in all good conscience just sit and watch and pat her on the head and say it will all work out all right because it won't.

The OW leaving for a new job in January (was supposed to be November) is a LIE of her WH or wishful thinking.

Stef at this point is setting herself for a huge fall. Her H is a serial cheat. He will do this again if she allows her marriage to continue while expecting so little of him in recovery. He11 - look at Gemella - she is doing everything she can and Pio is unmoved - that's what happens when a BS stays in Plan A too long.

My views on Plan B are shared by a lot of my MB friends in direct regard to Stef's situation. I would trust people like Mr & Mrs W, ML, Noodle with my life. I LISTEN to them because I respect them and their experience. Stef thinks she is a special case and that not following the best available advice will get her what she wants. It will not. She is on a path to disappointment and false recovery.

If stph does not come back within one week, I will leave.

Well let me just throw this out there in the spirit of "blue sky thinking". [sorry - saw that on BBC the other day and I love the expression]. Stph20 has a very active thread with a lot of very talented people posting on it. How about maybe we let her have TKO as a sanctuary away from all the M/A/D talk. Because quite frankly - and I don't think I'm alone here - I have many unanswered NASCAR questions and our resident expert has just done a runner.

BTW, can anyone tell me what I just said? I can't see it - I'm ignoring myself.

hahahaha. OK Pio. I'll play.

Ty for explaining it to me BigK,

the point is not then, to enforce no contact even if he has to loose his job instead of the Plan B?

and if after she has re-explained why NC is absolutely a requirement for the continuation of the marriage, then the Plan B?

Yes, you said somebody stick a note to my back that says: Kick me!

You also admitted that ToddAC is Superman.

I play too. I really don't want to know about Nascar but could use some car mainteinance info.


Lol.

larousse,

The point is you can't force a wayward to do anything. You have to give them choices and let them to make a selection.

Io o capito Pio.

The problem with sanctuaries is that when you leave them, someone shoots at you.

My DDs play all the time. Sometimes even nicely - but usually not. Whenever things start to get out of hand, the one on the losing end at the moment runs over and jumps on me declaring me to be "base". If you're on "base", you're untouchable. I hate being base - especially with a broken toe - and extra-especially when one of them decides to go sliding in to base.

I'm fighting with DD1 right now. She refuses to do her french homework. I respect that decision but WW makes me insist that DD do french homework. So I have to speak french with her. Better than ipecac. Great for the diet. So I told DD last night that I didn't see any point in paying for her french classes if she didn't want to learn it. WW advised me she was paying for the french classes. Never mind.

Do they learn arab too?

They take arabic in school. It is free.

English-Spanish-Arab-French speakers girls soccer players.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />


Relax, many moms think French refines their DD's.

Mine was not convinced with the results.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

larousse,

You are not allowed to spell "french" with a capital "f" on this thread. That is like calling Todd a "yankee". I dare you to try that!

llanquiiiiiiiii

larousse,

Sorry but your spelling can in no way be considered offensive. People who didn't speak Spanish (and know YOU were speaking Spanish) would have no clue what you are saying.

Larousse - What incentive does her husband have to enforce NC? He can remain in contact with no consequences.

Stef misguidedly thinks her Husband is on the same page she is with respect to this. She uses statements like "we are working on this together" or "we are doing the best we can until she leaves" This is just pure and simple wishful thinking. He H is in an active affair until NC is established. NC should be a boundary for her. He is in an active affair, will not withdraw and will do nothing to work on their marriage apart from talking about it.

I am not gonna post any more of Stef's situation on this thread now Larousse in deference to Pio's suggestion assuming she returns. Let's use Stef's own thread OK?

I am oh so glad you added that caveat. You were just about to get hammered. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Hey, that just made me think - many tool things are euphamisms for other things:

Getting hammered = drunk (or possibly SF)
Getting drilled = trained (or SF)
Getting screwed = mistreated (or SF)
Getting nailed = definitely SF

Any others? It just occurred to me that almost everything refers back to SF eventually. Curious.