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For the record, this is the post: MelodyLane replied in a topic you have selected as one of your favorites at the site: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/showthreaded.php?Cat=0&Number=3135531Quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do you think Plan B is so important right now after he just came home and wants our marriage to work? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- BigK, honestly, I wouldn't even bother with her anymore; it is hopeless. She does not want to be helped, she wants her WS at any and all cost. This has been explained to her endlessly and she simply refuses to listen. Her case is "different." *************previously edited******** BigK, I know it kills you to watch her behave so stupidly, but please go help someone who really wants help. There are so many desperate ppl on this forum who really do want and need help. Now, can you read that and honestly tell me stph should not be offended by that? Maybe I'm just stupid. Todd seems to think so anyway. Maybe he's right. Just because you talk about her in the third person, does that mean she shouldn't take it personally? To me, that is even worse than telling it to her face. JMVHO.
Last edited by Justuss; 11/21/06 12:02 AM.
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But she wants approval for her actions not support. Okay fair enough. But is the solution to give up on her? Is th solution for ML to publicly thrash her without mercy? ML's post was silly and uncalled for. Or is it to continue to give advice, direction and feedback until she gets it? She is very young and has experienced much trauma. If she is in denial whether in her own fog, or for whatever reason, she needs support more than ever.
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moveforward,
Can you please explain specifically what you are talking abotu and who you are acusing or do you just want to make inflammatory comments? I would be very interested in facts.
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bigK,
Let's not distract here. I am not advocating what stph20 is doing in any way shape or form. that is not what is at issue. I think stph20 was getting all that advice on her thread and also on another forum. it just looked to me like the police were trying to hunt her down and give her no place to hide. I read those posts to her. They were very cruel. Sorry but they were. I am especially upset by the post ML wrote and then edited (I still have the original and read it every day). I can repost it if you have forgotten. First off, I did not write a "cruel" post to Steph, and secondly, piojitos, I certainly admit I lashed out at Jen in anger, but went back and deleted it. piojitos, I have agreed to stay off your thread, and would like to do so, but not if you are going to come over here, when you know I have agreed to leave, and trash me. If anyone here is being "cruel" it is those who are "supporting" Steph in ignoring some simple basic MB principles.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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piojitos, just for the record, I DELETED that paragraph from my post for good reason and would appreciate it if you would do so now.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Todd, did you not read Kiwi's posts to her? They were not supportive of MB principles at all. In fact. no Matter what Big K said, she said the opposite.
And you call my comment inflammatory when your good buddy Pio posted a post that ML edited. I do believe that is way more inflamatory.
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Todd, Pio, I will happily continue to post to Stef on her own thread and leave this place as a safe place for her to post. I NEVER indicated I would EVER do otherwise. I never abandoned her. She decided to stop posting. I will not however enable her.
I have not, am not, and will not give up on her.
Pio, I did read that post (never saw the original). ML does not want that to stay she only wanted KiwiJ to see it. You may want to consider deleting it.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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ML,
Regardless of what you said to KiwiJ, your post clearly says that spth20 is a waste of time, hopeless and stupid. Ignore what you wrote to KiwiJ. Read the rest.
Where on this thread are people telling stph to stay in Plan A?
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BigK,
I was going to delete that portion at the request of ML but it appears that Justuss beat me to it. Regardless, the thought police are hard at work.
As I said, I have been doubting the value of this place in my sitch for some time.
Bye.
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Pio, is THIS not telling her not to go to plan B? They divorced. I'm pretty sure things would have been salvageable if this person had kept in contact with the WS.
Maybe not. I could be quite wrong. It was not a good situation. I just always had a gut feeling that Plan B didn't help the BS in this case.
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ML,
Regardless of what you said to KiwiJ, your post clearly says that spth20 is a waste of time, hopeless and stupid. Ignore what you wrote to KiwiJ. Read the rest. Absolutely, and I meant every word. However, I did not say SHE is hopeless, but "IT" is hopeless, which it is if she continues to go along with her H's continued contact with OW. Unfortunately, she is not hearing anything that disagrees with that path, except from BigK who appears to be the lone ranger, on this thread. No one here seems to be helping her GET that.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Todd, did you not read Kiwi's posts to her? They were not supportive of MB principles at all. In fact. no Matter what Big K said, she said the opposite. And this means what? And you call my comment inflammatory when your good buddy Pio posted a post that ML edited. I do believe that is way more inflamatory. I am not sure that I called your post inflammatory but then that is one of the few virtues of a shattered memory. I can commit no good and have no remorse because I don't remember it. And in no way is Pio's repost of "the" post ML made inflammatory. ML made the post, not Pio. Pio posted it to help clarify what was said to the BigK.
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Todd,
here is your initial post to me " moveforward,
Can you please explain specifically what you are talking abotu and who you are acusing or do you just want to make inflammatory comments? I would be very interested in facts. "
What part of my response did you not understand?
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Unfortunately, she is not hearing anything that disagrees with that path, except from BigK who appears to be the lone ranger, on this thread. No one here seems to be helping her GET that. The BigK is the man for the job. I have the highest regard for BigK and his knowledge of MB principles. I am hardly an MB scholar or even a devotee or the principles. Unfettered and continuous advice from the BigK can only help stph, if she comes back. If she does not, I am outta here.
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They're coming to take me away, HA HA
They're coming to take me away, HO HO HEE HEE HA HA
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see
Those nice, young men
In their clean, white coats
And they're coming to take me away, Ha-haaa!
To the happy home
With trees and flowers and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile
And twiddle their thumbs and toes
And they're coming to take me away, Ha-haaa!
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see
Those nice, young men
In their clean, white coats
And they're coming to take me away, Ha-haaa!
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Can you please explain specifically what you are talking abotu and who you are acusing or do you just want to make inflammatory comments? I would be very interested in facts. " You are saying that I posted that? Hang on, I just took one of my little pills. Think I will take a second one. This could be fun!
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I apologize that was Pio. Excuse me
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Well, thankfully my posts have not been inflamatory. I must not have been reading the tough stuff.
I burned my lip the other day; my car got creamed by a runaway shopping cart, my garage door halfway fell down tonight, my pantyhose were crooked today, my office was 80 degrees today, my luggage is totally unpacked for my diplomatic mission Wednesday, my tickets to the theatre are for tomorrow night, my daughter's modeling portfolio is to be photographed Saturday while I am in the Far Kingdom, my son has no one coming to Grandpals Day tomorrow, my children have dentist appts tomorrow, my daughter has a psychiatrist appt tomorrow, I have to work half a day tomorrow, I am behind at work but leave midday tomorrow and don't return till Tuesday, my telephone gets a dial tone occaisionally and only occaisionally receives calls despite a service call by the phone company a week ago, I had to buy a new cordless phone because one of my old ones had been injured when the dog chewed up the antenna, I don't have pet sitting arranged for while I travel, and I am tired of eating homemade vegetable soup.
Have I whined enough?
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Can I pile on? My girls are still hurting from the mammogram a month ago. My baked potato was not cooked all the way through. Vandy beat the Dawgs this season. Do you get the import of that? Every SEC team has homecoming when they play Vandy. Usually works. I had a flat tire on my car today. No wait, I don't have a flat tire. I don't have a car. I am entering posts I don't remember. They are coming to take me away. Pio, don't let 'em take me away. I hate the funny farm.
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Wow Cin,
are you on a diet?
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