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It's not really what he did or didn't do. It's that you still care. It's is still all very unfair to you.
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I woke gemela up this AM and told her that I was sorry for how I have been the past few days and can only guess it was the anniversary. I told her that I can't fault her for the effort she has been putting forth and I appreciate all she is doing. I also told her that I really enjoy getting her calls at the office. Every time the phone rings, I look up in anticipation hoping I will see our number in the display and am always a little disappointed when it is not. I told her she didn't deserve the way I have been acting. *THUD* <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Sweet, Pio. Do you really feel this way or only think you should?
This is not a criticism.
'night all.
Formerly nam
here since 07/31/03
coastal, CT
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You know, Pio it's kind of interesting. I really wouldn't want ex back. He'd have to be a very different person than the one he was the last couple of years of our marriage & different than he was during the "good" years too. I need an emotionally aware man who can discuss what he feels.
Maybe it's just not in me to be vengeful. Not that I wouldn't wish for ex to see the destruction, pain & loss. I think by pointing out his careless & hurtful behavior is an intimate act & that's not something we share.
Formerly nam
here since 07/31/03
coastal, CT
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Do you really feel this way or only think you should? Yes I am sincerely embarassed about the digitizing pen incident.
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Actually I believe I do feel this way. I think I have been posting for a few weeks now that gemela seems to be putting out a lot of effort. I don't remember having criticized much of anything she is doing except for maybe "complacency". If I am honest with myself, I have to give her credit for her efforts. As Todd correctly points out, there is a certain amount of defense mechanism involved. I wrote (on a different subject) something about once burned, twice shy yesterday. I cringed when I posted that thinking BigK would be all over that comment like a Mexican woman on flan. Todd is also right in that I also have to open myself up to more potential pain if I want to get out of this mess. Todd is also a jerk but why state the obvious? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> (just kidding buddy)
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I have seen nothing remotely negative posted by you Pio about her efforts. She seems to have passed the test.
I am thrilled to read your post because this is a turning point for you it seems and I am very happy for you.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Insightful & probably right Pio. Still hard to do.
Back to me.
I realized something about ex & myself. ex married me with unrealistic expectations of marriage & of me. I married him with too few expectations of marriage & of him. We both didn't know enough to care for what we did have.
Now I'm really going to bed.
Todd, I hope you're well.
Hey Beth.
Formerly nam
here since 07/31/03
coastal, CT
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nams, you're welcome for the hug. Anytime. My heart goes out to you. Reading your last post makes total sense about too few or unrealistic expectations about marriage. WH and I married, I forgot I'm on TKO and can't talk about it. Sorry!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> Pio-I'm very proud of you for opening up to Gemela. I'm sure she appreciated it. Feedback for effort is always nice. It's good to hear you be so insightful, but then again, you always are when you choose to be! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
BS (me)-26
WH-27
Dday-August 2006
0 kids
Married 4 years
NC established 1-26-07
status-working on it
"Sometimes, I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough...but I'll stand back up."
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LOL Stef - you're hilarious.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Posts: 2,873
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I woke gemela up this AM and told her that I was sorry for how I have been the past few days and can only guess it was the anniversary. I told her that I can't fault her for the effort she has been putting forth and I appreciate all she is doing. I also told her that I really enjoy getting her calls at the office. Every time the phone rings, I look up in anticipation hoping I will see our number in the display and am always a little disappointed when it is not. I told her she didn't deserve the way I have been acting. How do you feel about being O & H to G.? . . . . because I am very proud of you for taking the 'risk'.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> ...even though I think I may be on your 'ignore' list!
Last edited by lunamare; 12/06/06 12:22 AM.
XBW
DS16 & DS22
PLAN D: finalized!
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Nams...
Do you and you ex exchange often?....
XBW
DS16 & DS22
PLAN D: finalized!
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O & H???
Obtuse & Headstrong???
Not sure what O & H means.
Something in Todd's post yesterday weighed heavily on me. I just hate that (that he might actually possibly be right about something).
Then I took the pragmatic side. At this point, what do I really have to lose? All she can do is break my heart...again...
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Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,128
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I'm not sure but I think he has decided to stop posting in protest of larousse's and 2much's absence. I agree. I'll stop posting too in the hope that they come back.
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Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,128
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WH wants to come home. Doubt we will get anywhere in negotiations since he is trying to focus on me and what I need to do/be if he comes back and not on his willingness to do things etc. He says he would agree to conditions placed by me a few months ago r/t open, honest etc. He is all set with arrangements to stay gone if I do not decide to work on M with him. He basically feels like I am dictating everything, "as you always do". Has WH moved back home? How are you doing?
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<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> I need to explain intracranial gerbils! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />
Last edited by cinderella; 12/06/06 01:41 AM.
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As if that needed any explanation.
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Cind.... uhmmm...I am missing your point here... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> ...let's see....gerbils are a type of hamsters....so Pio has hamsters for a brain?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> Oh my...don't think that would go over too well with Pio! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> ...but I have a feeling there is more to your comment than meets MY eye... (..or, NOT!) ...maybe just missing out on a 'cultural reference' I am not familiar with.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> ...don't suppose you could consider elaborating it, Cind? (....I know...I know....it's just not the same if you have to explain...) I have found that when you have familiarity/interest in something, you find others with similar interest. At my house, everyone has ADD or ADHD. We have some unique interests. Anyway, my daughter came home one day and said she and a friend figured out that another friend had not taken his medication that morning. She said you could look at him and see the gerbils in his brain running at world-record pace. So, we now refer to our most challenging moments by saying the gerbils are running really fast on their wheel. Working really hard and going nowhere - trying really hard with no success.
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