For once I have to agree with Todd.

[could I work for the AP or what?] <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I think you have to be a French major to work for the AP.

There is no Santa Claus

This is slightly OT but I have felt compelled to post this for some time. Sorry. Through observations of my own situation and reading other threads, there is a commonality I have seen in many that has puzzled me. Esoteric as it many seem on the surface, it may, in fact, strike the very chord of my current struggle and my seemingly eternal debate with Todd. Roe v Wade, Scopes v Davey Jones and the Monkees, Harley v Pittman: all infamous debates – but this last one is the battleground of my soul.

Many people have said (I don’t include myself in that number) that Harley blames the BS for the A while Pittman blames the WS. I have never believed this to be the case. Even so, there is merit to the argument. Most of us that are in this process or even fully into recovery have stated at one time or another that they never believed they would be interested in remaining with an unfaithful spouse prior to the affair – and yet here we find ourselves. All of us here, by definition, have at one time been in the position to try to think the unthinkable. Some have succeeded and others have not yet we all have that one common link – we tried. So how did that happen? This is where I think the Harley genius lies. If I had picked up Pittman’s book first, I would easily be divorced by now. Don’t get me wrong – it can still happen – but it hasn’t yet. Harley is quite clever. He takes a new BS who is highly impressionable and, through total conflict avoidance, ignores the cause of the A and works toward resolution of the M. I don’t believe Harley goes much further than to say that no marriage is perfect. He simply guides us in a direction and starts us on a path before we have an opportunity to see things as they really are – that we have been betrayed by the one we love and even the Bible recognizes that as a very bad thing.

In reality the WS merits no love or sympathy. Plan A is bad enough - swallowing all your dignity for someone who does not love you and has hurt you so badly. Plan B is almost unthinkable – “hey go screw OP for a while and then come back when you come to your senses”. And yet we follow the plan without question. And the plan, in many cases, works. If someone would have told me prior to the A that was going to happen, I would have said they were insane. Harley gets us to this point. Harley forces us to reevaluate our entire belief system without even thinking about it. It may all be smoke and mirrors but it works.

I feel like I am on the back lot of my life. Just like a studio tour where you see what is really behind the façades of the buildings. I am now seeing what is behind my WW, my M and my life. It is not nearly as interesting as the movie.

believer,

This time, all our chef tried to do was open a jar of Bush's chili with no beans, of course, put it into a pan, turn on the heat and cook it for maybe five minutes. I started the electric stove, put the pan on and went back to the movie I was watching.

In a few minutes, I noticed smoke from the general direction of the stove. First, however, I noticed a very strong and putrid chemical smell.

I called GE product support to see what the heck had happened. They claim, (of course, they made the stove, so what are they going to say) that I was supposed to remove the Tupperware lid from the electric element first. Didn't sound right to me but what the heck, I turned it off and was going to remove the Tupperware lid, but it was gone.

It was about this time that the smoke alarm started blaring. I have to give the local fire department credit. There were here in no time. They were not happy so I tried to lighten things with some humor. They don't like fireman jokes. Oh well, live and learn.

After the FD left, the security guy showed up. He also was not amused. He said this was not the first time the FD had to come to my room. I don't remember the FD coming before. It must have been before I moved in. It was ugly.

Isn't that a bit hypocritical? Under your form of government, should they really have come? You talk the talk but can you walk the walk?

The local FD is privately contracted.

Dear Pio, you do not give yourself enough credit...how can you say it is not interesting...you are an extremist but I thought you realized it...perhaps that is why you don't think it is interesting...your sitch and saga not to mention your crafty, sarcastic depiction is anything but uninteresting...all of what you posted with the cards, letters, WWF wrestling match at the copier...come on everyday is an adventure in the life of Pio and gemela...you make hamster repro into a hysterical adventure...sounds like you found out who the wizard is at oz

Pio - Interesting......... Of course we have to factor in that the MB crowd is already a skewed bunch. Pittman's statistics say that around half of the BS's DO look at infidelity as a deal-breaker. They just file for divorce. They don't bother googling marriage/infidelity.

Then there is a percentage that find this site, read here for awhile, and decide that we are all drinking the koolaid.

I read here for about 5 months before I posted, kind of just out of curiosity. When I saw marriages being saved, and people being happy, I started posting.

I'm a result focused person. What I've noticed is that even when the marriage is not saved, a huge percentage of the folks who post here go on to be content.

Ah Politics will always liven it up. Even more than song lyrics.

Believer I do think that is the beauty of the Harley plan - self improvement.

I wasn't complaining - just commenting.

Pio - if you are commenting here about my email, I never thought you were complaining and if you aren't commenting on that then I'm lost.

Time for a song. A great song by Chris Rea.

Driving Home for Christmas

I am driving home for christmas
Oh, I can't wait to see those faces
I am driving home for christmas - yea
Well I am moving down that line
And it's been so long but I will be there
I sing this song to pass the time away
Driving in my car
Driving home for christmas

It's gonna take some time, but I'll get there
Top to toe in tailbacks
Oh, I got red lights on the run
But soon there'll be a freeway...
Get my feet on holy ground

So I sing for you
Though you can't hear me
When I get through and feel you near me
I am driving home for christmas
Driving home for christmas
With a thousand memories

I take look at the driver next to me
He's just the same.....
Just the same

Top to toe in tailbacks
I got red lights on the run
I'm driving home for christmas
Get my feet on holy ground

So I sing for you
Though you can't hear me
When I get through and feel you near me
Driving in my car
Driving home for christmas

Driving home for christmas
With a thousand memories
I take look at the driver next to me
He's just the same.....
He's driving home
Driving home
Driving home for christmas

I took a few days off. I haven't read any emails.

BBBRRRRRMMMMMMMM! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

I quick hello to everybody....and then rushing off!

MERRY CHRISTMAS to those that 'celebrate' it...

Peace...and...Love...and...Hugs!

BBBRRRMMMMMMMMM!

P.S. I sure would like to know what the heck happened to Larousse...the nerve of her leaving us without saying at least goodbye...

(((((((((((((LAROUSSE)))))))))

Hope you are OK! ....left to our imagination....we go for the worst scenario....so....this is where the 'effort' comes in and so will try to imagine 'outside the box'.... you won a ticket to travel in a very exotic place, beaches and palms trees and room service, where there are no computers and you are living it up girl!

Todd...you might as well go and live at the Fire Station!

2much...I really like you're sense of humour..you really made me laugh!

BigK posting lyrics???

Believer...you were considering going to work in SA...are you?

Had a few invitations from friends...their way of wanting to keep me 'busy'! ...Hey.....I will take all the sympathy that comes my way...nothing beats good company and a good meal! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

(((((((((((((((((((TKO))))))))))))))

Love you, all!

Who is Larousse?

TKO fam,

Can't say enough about how extraordinary you folks are...there are a number of positives that surface from the dung of the evil I...amongst them are you treasured friends and family that have listened to lots of rambling, moaning, tears and attempts at humor

to you: Pio, ToddAC, Big K, Luna, Larousse (where ever you are), Stph20, Believer, Cinderella, Beth, Nams, I wish peace, health, happiness and above all love

Make this Holiday season one to remember by creating spectacular memories that you will cherish for a lifetime...with or without our spouses we have the strength, power and free will to achieve these things with the help of God, hard work and friends like you guys

(((((((((((((((TKO))))))))))))))))))))
MERRY CHRISTMAS TKO FAMILY

Merry Christmas TKO.

AMEN 2much.

I don't know, or want to think about, where I'd be without you guys for support, help, advice, support, laughter, tears, support and most of all, your friendship and love. I'm so lucky and blessed that I was able to find you guys when I needed you most. You were and are, my light at the end of the tunnel.

I never would have thought I could care about people I've never even met, or get to know them as well as I do!

I'm blessed to have each and every one of you in my life, as my friend and my family.

Merry Christmas guys. May God bless you all with everything you deserve and so much more. My love goes out to each and every one of you...can you feel it???

((((((((TKO FAMILY))))))))

I've been worrying for some time about a thing and I think I have finally resolved it. DDs are learning about the environment in school and one of the results is that we are now heavy into recycling. Another is water conservation. The instructions on the recycling say ti wash out milk bottles and other plastic before putting it into the recycling bin. But that seems to waste water doesn't it? So which is more harmful - throwing the unrinsed plastic in the regular trash or wasting water to recycle it? This has caused me no end of stress. Well finally I came to resolution. I now place all my plastic bottles in the shower with me. That way they get rinsed, I don't waste water and I can recycle. The only down side is that it kind of puts a damper on urinating in the shower now...