[quote] I know you were trying to be humorous and it is funny in its way [quote]

trying???? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Okay. My bad. You are VERY trying. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Seriously, I see so many familes in much worse conditions. I see husbands around me who totally ignore their wives and families. I look at what we had and sometimes find it hard to believe that WW tossed it all away. Can't change that though. I'm watching the neighbor across the street. She is on slow burn and about to explode IMHO. She has become the classic golf widow. It has gotten so bad that she snipes at anybody who plays golf. He plays 7 days a week.

I wrote the longest post and it was so full of heartfelt emotion and info...all lost:(

In summary, I have taken to the philosophies of Victor Frankl and his logotherapy. In short people who dwell on the past have poor outcomes compared to those who see hope in the future and work toward the future...

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to say a very quick hello to everyone. I feel terrible that I reappeared just to disappear again. I ran into a bit of a problem with an infection and haven't been feeling too well. I will post again soon. I thank you all for your best wishes and just wanted to let you know not to worry about me. Sorry I haven't been up to replying to your emails but it is easier to do one post here at the moment. Think I may have pushed myself a bit too hard. See you soon.

Love to you all. Beth

hugs and prayers, Beth!

I thought it was funny, 2much. sigh..maybe I have the wrong address!

Well it is a sad day. I am so very sorry but it just became necessary to cull the hamster herd. The evil mama hamster was living in a bucket by herself at the last. She couldn't even get along with the two children who had miraculously survived her cannabalistic tendencies. I finally made the decision. WW was hesitant. She said maybe she won't bite any more. I told her to stick her finger in to find out. She did. The hamster seemed timid at first but suddenly began screaming like a banshee, reared back on her hind feet and made a six inch vertical leap for WW's finger. I told the DDs that I was going to sell her to a friend at work. I took the writhing beast on my way to the commisary and let her out in a green area a mile from the house. When I got back to the house, the children were crying (they will sell the baby hamsters in a heartbeat (and even forget to get paid!)). WW blamed me for it all. I just don't understand how that devil hamster became Mother Theresa in the collective memories of WW and the DDs in the short time I was at the grocery store. Yet another case of rewriting history. Good thing I don't live in the USA or I would be facing litigation from Yumna's parents over the mauling she got when she came to visit DD2.

I have no idea what happened to the demon pet but I did hear this morning that three neighborhood cats are missing. I'm keeping a low profile.

Hugz and prayers Beth. I know you must be struggling but I also know you are resilient and brave and will walk away from this with new appreciation, friends and pearls of wisdom. Hang in there and know you are missed and we think of you often and wish you comfort and peace in your journey. Write when you feel up to it we look forward to updates!
2mhb

Pio,

LOL. Will the girls be wearing black today? It is funny how perspectives can change so quickly eh? I must say I am guilty of the same at times (not spurred by hamsters but I guess it could be possible). I will not TRY to be humorous as I know my attempts are not appreciated <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Is G actually mad at you for the hamster dump? In the long run you will be the hero but in DDs eyes I am sure you will be the villian for quite some time.

Short story...while at the pet store DD1 and I ran into a woman giving away free bunnies...DD2 had been begging for one forever and B-day was coming up...I made tragic mistake of taking one, buying supplies and surprising DD2...after less than 24 hours my 2 dogs trying to eat it, my cat upset and marking her territory and my DD2 crying b/c the bunny "didn't do anything or play with her" I ended the misery by telling DD2 that sometimes life is not fair, I made a bad decision by taking the bunny, it was unfair to all the other animals and to her and I returned it to the pet shop.

We all learned a lesson but to this day 2 years after the fact I remain the bad-guy who once teased DD2 with a bunny and made her return it:)

Best of luck in redeeming yourself in the Hamster saga...best thing is stick to your ground and do nothing...trying to replace with other material items will not suffice so don't waste time/$/effort! JMHO

I'm not too stressed about the hamster although WW still prods me with it. I made a decision and that's that.

We have bunnies here on camp and people often let them go for the reasons you mentioned (good idea gone bad). They congregate more around the golf course than anywhere else. My neighbor is not the best golfer but he tries very hard. One day he was playing and hit a fairly good drive but a bunny was crossing the fairway at the time. Ball hits bunny - bunny dies. Unfortunately this is a true story.

The worst part is that my neighbor is not the least bit upset about killing a bunny. He is far more concerned that he missed his only chance at par by a hare. (also true).

ROFLMAO!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhh. I was kid-free last eve. I could have been so earlier in the eve but WH specifically invited me to go to dinner with he and kids. I went. My final comment to him prior to his leaving with kids...if you want alone time with me you need to arrange for a babysitter. We'll see if that idea takes off or not.

It's the most bizarre situation but for some crazy reason I want to leave the door open and continue on the high road. At least BK would be proud as tempting as it was (and yes, I was dying) no SF. I was also struggling with wanting to go out after they all left but I know myself well and stayed home free from temptations and got some work done. I think my taker is peeking out looking around and I am having to shove it back where ever it came from...

Well, thanks for the laugh Pio. I will be diving back into my pile of work before the kids return.

I guess it's no plan B for you 2much. Did I misunderstand? I thought you were prepping for plan B.

I just stopped in to say a quick HI. School work is calling my name...

Good for you Pio, you got those rodents out of your life.

nams,

Are you recommending I get a divorce??? ooh...wait a minute...you mean the hamsters don't you? My bad.

Hi Nams, Pio, anyone else out there...

Nams...yeah....was seriously set for plan B when WH decided to start showing interest, exchange information, provide some insight and honesty...was it a tease, manipulation etc? I don't know but I figured I would ride the wave and see where it goes and move to plan B once I crashed or I knew it was bull...still riding. Is he really being honest? I have no idea b/c I refuse to waste $ to snoop/validate/whatever. If he actually gets to the point that he wants to make a real move to come home I will be sure to follow FF advice and make him prove his worthiness. At this point he is only making statements that he is trying to be the man I want, that he is making an effort etc. His actions are gradually improving in respect to the kids and trying to do more to help me (no way nearly what I think it should be but a start I guess). I will protect us and see where this takes us. I am still in limbo for relocation as well so without a definite direction I will ride as long as I can stand it.

How are things with you? I can r/t school work as mine is piled in my bed next to me...I am queen procrastinator so I'm sure I'll be diving in deep by late tonight!

Pio,
You are a mess! Too bad you are continents away...I would smack you or at minimum toss a boot at you with your wise [censored]!

2much,

I guess I understand your waffling. I had mine with cinnamon. I do think, however, that you have to set the bar somewhere for the both of you. Settling for "well, that's not too bad and really could be much worse" does you no favors and. more importantly, creates confusion for WH.

I think maybe I saw what Dobson described as the bird seeing its new found freedom in my case. Maybe that's where your WH is too. I gave WW everything she thought she wanted and suddenly she didn't really want it any more. I guess I am suggesting that you keep your boundaries very clearly defined. Go pee on a few trees. It was funny to watch but, in my case, I found that the more clearly I defined okay from not okay, the happier WW seemed to be about it. I got the impression she didn't want to have to think for herself. It was less stress on her when I did it for her. For my part, it went against the grain but I just did it (and still do to an extent).

I may have mentioned this before but I'll repeat if necessary. For the past 6 months or so, WW has been telling me I should check up on her, should have her followed, prove she is being honest. I have consistently told her that is not my responsibility and I would much prefer divorce. No husband should have to constantly check up on his wife to ensure she is being faithful. That isn't any kind of marriage and isn't any kind of life - at least not one I am willing to sign up to. It is her job to prove she is telling the truth - not mine. I can't be bothered. I can't imagine that the vast majority of the people I work with are thinking all day "gee I wonder is spouse is at home or is off screwing a pool cleaner". Most don't ever have to give that a thought. The fact that I do is unpleasant. I could get divorced for no other reason than that. I don't follow her. I'm not checking up on her. I observe what is in front of me. If it doesn't add up, we clear the air. I do check to see who she is getting emails from. I don't read them. I do check to see who is calling the house during the day but not routinely because I forget. AFAIK, once I found the cell phone calls, she never again made or received calls in the house. I don't expect she would get sloppy now (unless she really wanted to get caught). She could easily be doing something behind my back. I would still know. I watch her expressions, her moods and her body language. This is a little dangerous because my interpretations are influenced by my own moods. This is where being completely honest with gemela about how I am feeling at any given moment has really helped.

Yes waffling...what the heck are you talking about cinnamon???? AM I that far gone that I can't follow?

WH keeps telling me that the thing keeping us together is what is also keeping us apart...twice today referred to this...meaning the kids. I told him that was an excuse...he gave me the FU...I told him to finish the dissolution papers...he said "you got it" so I guess I have lept from the fence.

Tired of all of the games. Guess if it's meant to be then it will work out later. Feel bad but no energy or interest left. Fine

Hopefully I will get orders soon and have some direction to my life aside from trying to make it from day to day I will have something to look forward to, a new beginning somewhere...just so it's not here. I need a fresh start with some new scenery!

I am right with you in the snoop dept...who wants to babysit the rest of their life and especially when the WS is wanting you to check...it is when they don't expect it that you would want to check and as you referred they know all the tricks...can buy phone cards, prepaid phones, etc they are not likely to get sloppy unless they want to be caught or are so fogged out they don't care. I honestly think that G is just looking for approval, pat on the back, some kind of validation that she is doing well in her attempts to behave...it stinks but she may need some positive reinforcement from you Pio...you may need to reward her good behavior <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Way ahead of you. I always keep doggy treats in my pocket now. I'll pop one in her mouth from time to time and pat her on the nose.

Okay my response to this would be: can you explain that once again - and in English this time? and then walk away. That is a conversation to be avoided. The thing keeping you apart is adultery. Don't ever allow him to shift the blame.

Quick! Go look in the mirror - just in case I'm wrong and maybe you really DO have "stupid" written all over your forehead as WH seems to think you do.

LOL. He is pissed but I am too tired to battle. I will hopefully get all the legal issues taken care of in the next 2 weeks and go from there.

He is now planning on taking some more furniture since I had the nerve to piss him off...whatever. I'd rather sleep on the floor at this point.

He is still quite attractive to me but I'm sure I could find chemistry with someone else if I actually looked. I have been the perfect BS never looking outside M, no interest in OMs as I had my hands full with the one I had.

No plans on initiating a 2mhb search...I can make myself miserable or happy alone...need lots of time to figure out what I really want. Looks like a new chapter shall begin...

Okay I know you don't like to walk away from a fight but as long as you are fighting, he thinks you still care. Learn to walk away. In my case it wasn't until I decided I was totally done and didn't care any more that gemela really seemed to get her butt in gear. I was doing everything I could to push her away at that point but she was like my HPV - just couldn't get rid of her.

Always darkest before the dawn? Maybe. It wasn't until I totally (and I mean TOTALLY) let go that I saw a turning point toward recovery. Taking furniture? Sounds like he is still trying to get a reaction from you. Just let it go. I know it goes against your soldier training but let it go. Have you ever cheated on your husband? I only ask because he is so full of BS.

I also got to the point where I realized there were 999,999,999 women out there who I might find really interesting. I never looked before but I no longer viewed gemela as "the one". I don't think she liked that. Not sure. I think she likes being the center of attention - even mine.

Your lack of interest in WH has to cause him doubts he has never had to face before. Good.