Well keep in mind this is for the kids, right? How do you think your kids feel about seeing mom and dad playing out their soap opera in front of their friends? I don't mean that disrespectfully to you in any way. I'm just trying to look at it as if I were a young teen struggling with what are already impossibly awkward years without additional "help" from the family.

I think you two should suck it up and be there for your children - whatever that means and whatever that takes. Sitting far apart? I think you two need to POJA a temporary truce for those events and rein in the emotions for the hour you are together.

Do you think your children have to explain their parents' behavior to their friends the day after? My next door neighbor's wife had an A with her boss (she a teacher and he a principal). She ended up leaving her family and going to the USA to wait for OM who never went. Everybody in school knew about the A including all the kids. The 14 YO and 11 YO got bombarded with it daily at school. They got to the point where they never left their house except for school. They avoided all friends. Now they too are gone.

BTW, have you thought about asking DD1 how she felt about you two sitting far apart at the game? Just curious. I'm certain she has an opinion one way or the other.

You go. You root for your child and their team. You speak to WS if need be but don't go out of your way to do so. And, if need be, you try to be pleasant. Remember, it is about the two of you. Not the children. You need to behave in an appropriate manner because your child is watching and learning.

Thanks for the input...

I was sucking it up and even attempted chit-chat 1/2 way through just to break the ice...no-go on his part.

I was pleasant but reserved.

I did ask DD1 her feelings on the sitch and she said that she knew we would sit apart but it didn't bother her, she was too nervous about the game.

She has verbalized many times that she wished we would just get a D and get on with it b/c it is inevitable...she is looking forward to moving but I think lots of her "talk" is to make good for me and part of her own defense system as WH continues to disappoint her with his limited kid-time and distance from her.

WH almost treats DD1 as an extension of me b/c she acts and speaks in a similiar fashion to me. He has accused her of being mom's "spy" and "reporter" which is ironic since I never ask anything of kids...whatever they report is all there own doing.

As for the game, WH asked my permission to attend the game and even asked if he could sit in same area if that would be ok. I had responded that it was ok, she was OUR daughter and that would not change.

Good call to POJA public behavior for kid functions. Honestly prior to tonight folks would never know we had issues since we appeared to be the perfect couple in public.

Blue...thanks for the words of encouragement and support!

I always went, whether or not their dad would be there. If either child was with him, I would hunt them up and speak to the child first - then to the dad. I would not necessarily sit in the vacinity - although I might if I thought there might be some need for me to do so.

Thanks for the feedback! Trying to work it all out as smoothly as possible.

You can do it. It's no fun but it is do-able.

Pio,

If you don't mind let superman know I was inquiring about his condition and wishing him well. I almost emailed but stopped myself prior to hitting the send...figured you could convey my well wishes just as easily.

thanks

I passed along the message. Since he broke off his EA with me, he has been suffering significant withdrawal. I tried to get us in MC but he'll have none of it.

He gave up posting because he no longer has anything below the elbow to type with. He chewed the rest off and he is not that accurate with his nose.

From Penalty Kill

Pio, he told me he got an email; he's just not fast on replies. He will take his time, think of things, and then get out an email. (This was why I wrote to you first; I wanted to get the ball rolling. What I didn't write in the email, but you did pick up on, is that the communication stays between the two of you - I'm just giving the two parties each others emails and taking myself out of the loop altogether). If I have anything to say to you, I'll say it here on TKO.

I've probably paid as much to have my Rolex serviced over the years as I did for the thing in the first place. My H insists that his timexes are better, but he's one of these people who causes watches to stop all the time. He goes through about ten a year.

From Penalty Kill

2much, I don't know how old your children are, and I am sorry you're here at MB and having problems w/your WS. I do know that the stakes and the pressure get higher and higher in sports as the kids get older/graduate to travel teams and Varsity. It becomes critical that the child be able to focus on his game and not worry about Mom and Dad and their shenanigans. In my son's sport, there's enough crazy parents in the stands as it is. Why add to the insanity?

I would leave your problems with your WS at home and just cheer for your child and her team. Support her and talk about the game afterward, not your spouse. Tell her how proud you are of her; I don't think you need to mention your WS at all, because the game isn't about him.

Take care.

Are you saying that penaltybox is ugly enough to stop a watch? Kind of an LB isn't it?

Or are you say he is so lazy that his self-winding watch stops?

I will say that if I had to have 10 ex-watches a year, I would much prefer they were "tim" than "rol".

From Penalty Kill

Hah. PB is a very *fine* looking individual....who happens to kill about ten watches a year. Someone more versed in chemistry than I could probably explain the phenomenon.

My son seems to have the same problem. He's a bit of a step up from his father though. He wears Fossil watches....that his mother buys him. The one I bought at Christmas is still working....

2much-I agree you should go to your kids' games. Regardless of if WH is there or not. That's his own deal. Don't let what he does affect you anymore. Be the better person and go. If you want to associate with him, fine. If not, be sure to sit where that won't be possible. It's about your kid, not your M. JMHO.

And WHY are we on page TWO?!?!?!?!?!!!

ugh - almost happened again

middle of page two?

What am I suppose to read now?

Wish you the best to all.
I am a silent reader of TKO. been too messed up to post, but looks like I am finally starting recovery, one year after d-day.

Willow, not so lost anymore thanks to MB and Pio

hey Willow - Please post here more!!! This is a fun thread to take you away from your day to day insanity.

Yeah but "FoundWillow" just doesn't have quite the same ring to it.

LW,

I have a question for you. This is important so think about it. Don't answer - at least not for a day or two.

One year since Dday. WH has made significant changes. Life will never be the same as before regardless of what happens. The A(s) will never go away. You made a conscious choice to remain in the M. You still don't trust.

These are all facts.

Now, let's say that OW comes and knocks on your door one day and WH answers. Will he a) jump into her arms and run off into the sunset or b) regardless of what is done or said, eventually close the door and go back to his chair and finish reading the paper. I realize this is hypothetical. What I am asking you is that you honestly try to answer this question. I am not asking if you will be happy about the encounter - obviously you wouldn't. I'm not asking if it wouldn't result in a huge fight - it obviously would. I'm not saying WH will immediately slam the door in her face - I'm guessing he would not be so decisive (or rude). All I am asking is, in your opinion, when the door does close, which side of it will WH be on?

Now you go mull that for a week or so and then get back to me. Go ahead and keep posting in the meantime - just don't give me a knee jerk answer. This is a very important issue and one which may be a turning point for you. It was for me.

I need to think about it for a couple days, but typing my almost immediate answer and will post back with the definite one.

Quote:
"Yeah but "FoundWillow" just doesn't have quite the same ring to it."

What do you mean?

He's just messing with you Willow. You should know his style by now.