Pio - why does you not trusting her make her a WW? This is your issue not hers.... I suggest you need to give her the benefit of the doubt.

It might actually change your perspective yanno?

You know Pio, In the Bible, Genesis Chapter 1, it uses the words "and God said" at the creation of the world.

Who on earth was God speaking to? There was no one for him to speak to.

Which proves conclusively that the primary use of language is communication.

God SPOKE and the universe was created.

Do you think YOU can speak of your FWW and she will be created?

Just my 2c but it keeps you in victim mode referring to her as your WW.

This has bugged me for a while.

I'm fully aware that it is my issue. That's why I don't bring it up with WW. It still goes back to lack of remorse but I am trying to work through it. It isn't easy and I always said trust would be the last thing to be restored so I've never been in that much of a hurry.

We don't have lie-detectors here. What we do have is a man who sits you in a dark room and interrogates you while burning you with cigarettes and applying electric shocks. Hard to say if she would be telling the truth or not. People generally say whatever the police want them to say.

I have a personal issue with asking her to take a lie-detector test. Probably similar to the issue Mr. W has with it I'm guessing.

Doubt it's the same issue Pio...Mr. W has never asked me to take one, I have volunteered...He doesn't feel it's necessary and he would NEVER pay for something that he feels is unnecessary...I know that he trusts me...I've given him every reason to...We share EVERYTHING now...

Somehow from your posts I get the impression that you and Gemela don't communicate about your issues of trust...I could be wrong about that...I just think you should TELL her your feelings...Good, bad or ugly...That is INTIMACY...warts and all...

Mrs. W

Okay it's not the same issue.

Actually it has occurred to me to share my feelings on the subject of trust. I don't think right now is the best time. Maybe after Cancun.

I will confess that with xGF reporting that PB was living in Mexico, I did have thoughts of WW seeing him in D.F. even though I doubt he is actually living there. I just feel bad for having these thoughts anyway and then compound it with her getting into an accident in the bus. My self-esteem is a bit low this morning.

The question is how much do I burden her with what I perceive to be my problem? I don't have this answer.

Radical Honesty would mean you share it all. I do agree face to face is better though.

Pio...

I'm sorry that you are feeling low right now...I can certainly understand how the two of you being apart for this long contributes to this...You know that the Harleys recommend that you don't spend even one night away from each other...I also understand that can be tough when her family lives abroad...My family is far away too...

Pio, your problems ARE her problems and vice versa...You are married...You are one...Share your thoughts and fears with her...Honestly, I don't believe I would have come to remorse in the time that I did without reading and posting on MB...Mr. W didn't have to ask because of that, but I believe he might have had to without it or it would have come MUCH later...It is okay to tell her you need the remorse Pio...And it is very normal for you to need it...Foggy thinking is a hard thing to shake without reading and learning, IMO...I test myself on it constantly and ask for input from Mr. W and other respected MB friends if I feel I'm not getting something and my perspective may need adjusting...I owe much of my humbleness about my affair to the forums here at MB...

Mrs. W

Well here I was detaching myself. Wondering if she was calling OM. Maybe making arrangements to see him. The worst of paranoia.

She is there. Has one traumatic experience after another. And all she thinks about is wanting to come home to me or, when I go to Mexico, me staying there with her as long as I can.

So I'm feeling very humbled at the moment.

There is also the rather obvious point that I haven't mentioned. And that makes me feel good. But I won't mention it because I prefer to wallow in my self-pity.

Hey I've been feeling that way lately myself...The death of my dad coupled with gum surgery have had me in victim mode bigtime...I'm in the process of snapping out of it...I understand...

Mrs. W

Mrs. Wondering, it's past your bedtime! Pio and BK--I think it's tomorrow already so you have an excuse to be up. And I'm at work and getting paid for my insomnia, so it doesn't count. Just wanted to say hi to everyone. It's been a long time.

t&l

Hey T&L long time no chat.

This is true. Heard you enjoyed your trip from Down Under to Up Top, though!

t&l

We had the best time.

Well, my break is over so I have to go out and face the music one more time. Nice to make cybercontact again. Take care...

t&l

Gemela told me she was taking the DDs to get ensalmos this week. I told her to go to the supermarket and buy a dozen eggs for herself.

pio has left the building

Glad she was pleased.

Pio:

Why the change this time?


Or are you just a big fan of Nick Cage?

LG

<sniff> <sniff> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" />

He'll be missed.