Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
I'm not a virgin, but I play one on TV.

Quote
I would suggest (and maybe my first controversial thought which will get some not liking me... hopefully)... that if a person on here cannot handle tough words from an anonymous voice... then they also do not have the maturity and strength to handle any type of M, let alone the toughness required for recovery from an A.


true Shaden

and I've always thought that a good board fight was actually good for people (up to a point) ... it can be very instructive for those who have trouble staying engaged while stressed out ... case in point ~~~> Mimi

read her most recent thread .... she's identified one of her communication weaknesses ON THIS BOARD that was also a hinderence in her M

and she got plenty of practice in dealing with this via her Lemonman debates etc ... Lemonman was a blessing for Mimi ... and it took her awhile to recognize that ...

when we learn how to deal with someone irritating ... it's a good thing for our marriages .... because sooner or later, our spouse will irritate like a wool scarf over a sunburned neck in Miami weather !

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Pep

Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 928
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 928
Quote
because sooner or later, our spouse will irritate like a wool scarf over a sunburned neck in Miami weather !

OH YEAH!!!

Quote
read her most recent thread .... she's identified one of her communication weaknesses ON THIS BOARD that was also a hinderence in her M

Read it with interest and learned. Excellent thread and advice from all.

Shaden


BH (Me) - 38
WW - 36
Married - 16 years
2 children - 10,12
DD1 - 05/30/05 - EA suspected, W wanted space
DD2 - 07/01/05 - EA/PA discovered & confronted WW
DD3 - 07/21/05 - Further contact discovered and now ended.
11/07/05 - exposed to OMW...
07/01/07 - separated to give "space". recovery was not progressing.
09/04/07 - DDAY all over... new OM.

Patience with God is Faith.
Patience with myself is Hope.
Patience with others is Love.
FAITH REQUIRES ACTION!
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 928
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 928
Some of the posters on here, you included, Pep, have the insane ability to cut through the crap and see the real problems. Sometimes I'm in awe.

Shaden


BH (Me) - 38
WW - 36
Married - 16 years
2 children - 10,12
DD1 - 05/30/05 - EA suspected, W wanted space
DD2 - 07/01/05 - EA/PA discovered & confronted WW
DD3 - 07/21/05 - Further contact discovered and now ended.
11/07/05 - exposed to OMW...
07/01/07 - separated to give "space". recovery was not progressing.
09/04/07 - DDAY all over... new OM.

Patience with God is Faith.
Patience with myself is Hope.
Patience with others is Love.
FAITH REQUIRES ACTION!
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Do you remember her "goodbye cruel world" exit???

well ... she has grown sooooooo much since then .... and we laughed at her while we were reaching out to her

and Mimi, bless her

TOOK IT LIKE A MAN

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Quote
Some of the posters on here, you included, Pep, have the insane ability to cut through the crap and see the real problems. Sometimes I'm in awe.

Shaden

awwwwwwwwww shaddup!

awe for me is aweful

I'm just gifted in ways that read well here ... but my flawes are just as real

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 928
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 928
...and an AWEsome sense of humAWE... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />


BH (Me) - 38
WW - 36
Married - 16 years
2 children - 10,12
DD1 - 05/30/05 - EA suspected, W wanted space
DD2 - 07/01/05 - EA/PA discovered & confronted WW
DD3 - 07/21/05 - Further contact discovered and now ended.
11/07/05 - exposed to OMW...
07/01/07 - separated to give "space". recovery was not progressing.
09/04/07 - DDAY all over... new OM.

Patience with God is Faith.
Patience with myself is Hope.
Patience with others is Love.
FAITH REQUIRES ACTION!
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
conversely

a bad board fight is also similar to a bad marriage fight

like the current creationism vs evolution thread

this just bores the bejeebers outta me

because it is NEVER different than it was the LAST time they went after each other....

*snarl*
*growl*
yip-yip-yip

booooooooooooring

but not for them I guess

or else, they's stop

LOL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 928
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 928
it's the boxing ring, hockey scrap, or gladiators of old... some people just get high over a good fight.

Shaden


BH (Me) - 38
WW - 36
Married - 16 years
2 children - 10,12
DD1 - 05/30/05 - EA suspected, W wanted space
DD2 - 07/01/05 - EA/PA discovered & confronted WW
DD3 - 07/21/05 - Further contact discovered and now ended.
11/07/05 - exposed to OMW...
07/01/07 - separated to give "space". recovery was not progressing.
09/04/07 - DDAY all over... new OM.

Patience with God is Faith.
Patience with myself is Hope.
Patience with others is Love.
FAITH REQUIRES ACTION!
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Quote
Some of the posters on here, you included, Pep, have the insane ability to cut through the crap and see the real problems. Sometimes I'm in awe.

Shaden

I always suspected I was insane

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Quote
it's the boxing ring, hockey scrap, or gladiators of old... some people just get high over a good fight.

Shaden

I was thinking WWF

scripted
rehearsed
rerun

boooooooring

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,435
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,435
Quote
like the current creationism vs evolution thread

Oops.. I forget to send out the "Humans are actually alien import" memo I got from Orion.. had to send it out on 01.01.2000... damn.


[color:"purple"]When we lose sight of the well being of others, it is like losing sight in one eye. (the Dalai Lama)[/color]
The Neutral Zone Theory
Doing the right thing vs being a good boy/girl
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,435
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,435
Quote
Some of the posters on here, you included, Pep, have the insane ability to cut through the crap and see the real problems. Sometimes I'm in awe.

Shaden

I quite agree dear Pep.
BTW isn't your birthday coming up?


[color:"purple"]When we lose sight of the well being of others, it is like losing sight in one eye. (the Dalai Lama)[/color]
The Neutral Zone Theory
Doing the right thing vs being a good boy/girl
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 957
E
Member
Offline
Member
E
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 957
LA,

If you are bad, it must be in a very good way. You helped me immensly and I am very appreciative. I really didn't want to hear soem of the things you said, but those were the things I really needed to hear! THANK YOU! You also asked me to explore things in my life I had buried and tried to forget, not always an easy or painless thing to do, I did it and I am much better off and feel much better about myself and my W and how we interact. Sooooooo Again if you were told you were bad I would have to say "Bad to the Bone" in a most positive and good way. You Rock!

Thank you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> and I don't usually use these happy faces.


"Never argue with idiots or WSs, They just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience"
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 974
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 974
Quote
because it is NEVER different than it was the LAST time they went after each other....

*snarl*
*growl*
yip-yip-yip

booooooooooooring



An Old Cowboy's Advice

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

Every path has a few puddles.

Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

You cannot unsay a cruel word.

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.

Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.

Don't judge folks by their relatives.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back,
you'll enjoy it a second time.

Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches
you from the mirror every mornin'.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad
judgment.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back
in.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin'
somebody else's dog around.

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest
to God.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />


I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. - Robert McCloskey
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
sometimes you're the windshield

sometimes you're the bug

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,435
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,435
Hey.. I know those.. isn't that from "don't squat with your spurs on" ? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />


[color:"purple"]When we lose sight of the well being of others, it is like losing sight in one eye. (the Dalai Lama)[/color]
The Neutral Zone Theory
Doing the right thing vs being a good boy/girl
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
[color:"red"]"don't squat with your spurs on" ? [/color]

*ouch*

that visual hurt

Pep

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
Brownhair, most of us spell the attribute of fun and playfulness as 'humor', but you are allowed to spell it 'humoUr' if you want, since you are on the other side of the pond. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,435
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,435
Quote
Brownhair, most of us spell the attribute of fun and playfulness as 'humor', but you are allowed to spell it 'humoUr' if you want, since you are on the other side of the pond. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Er.. I looked it up in the dictionary and I am even more confused now. I'll stick to "humor" - that's easy for me since it's the same in my "native" languague (which is Flemish) !

... mi noleedge ov eenglisj haz improofed allot sins I djoind MB !


[color:"purple"]When we lose sight of the well being of others, it is like losing sight in one eye. (the Dalai Lama)[/color]
The Neutral Zone Theory
Doing the right thing vs being a good boy/girl
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,435
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,435
Quote
[color:"red"]"don't squat with your spurs on" ? [/color]

*ouch*

that visual hurt

Pep

Yes it does, doesn't it ? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
I picked up the book in some US airport.


[color:"purple"]When we lose sight of the well being of others, it is like losing sight in one eye. (the Dalai Lama)[/color]
The Neutral Zone Theory
Doing the right thing vs being a good boy/girl
Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 153 guests, and 51 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Linda Horan, BillTages, salmawis, AventurineLe, Prisha Joshi
71,966 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Roller Coaster Ride
by Drb6317 - 04/28/25 09:12 PM
I didn’t have a chance
by still seeking - 04/26/25 03:32 PM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,623
Posts2,323,494
Members71,967
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5