Hi Lurioosi,

I don't have anything to add to what you have already heard. I am just real glad to see you here.

Lurioosi,

I know you think you are strong, but you can't do this on your own. You just can't.

I'm so proud of you for being here and taking small steps to try and repair your life and M. After you make an appointment with your pastor, let us know.

And if you need to talk, just keep posting. We are here.

You can do it!

Hello Lurioosi and welcome to MB.

I’ve read your posts, and have a few things I’d like to present to you. Know that I’m doing this because I care about you and your M and I support MB’s concepts because they work.

Let me preface my thoughts by saying that I’m not known for hugging kittens and sprinkling sugar on dung. But, I love people and want to see if I can peel a layer of the onion back wi’ya.

The part that you have not considered here is that your H is going to find out.

Now you can control some of the pain and hurting here by being honest with him and opening yourself up like a book, or you can allow him to wade through the destructive wake you have imposed upon him by allowing him to discover every tidbit of information by himself.

If you confess your crime against him and tell him that you will be transparently honest you can let this thing fall like an anvil from the sky and knock him down hard ONCE,

or,

You can allow him to know that something is wrong deep inside and always question everything that you and he do together for the rest of your lives.

In the latter case you are assuming that the guilt you have obviously locked horns with now will somehow go away and it will not effect him.

This is the slap ok? Gentle, but honest.

It’s affecting him right now and will FOREVER until you tell him.

Your own mind is what is affecting him. Your perspectives on life and your relationship with him are like cancer right now. You can only excise this foreign body of decaying sickness from your M through exposure.

If you are a leader here now you can prevent MORE destruction. You can prevent more pain and you will be expressing compassion.

I know it sounds twisted, but it’s the truth and there you have it.

Believe me, I was the BS that had to discover every fact, every hint, one at time over months and each time was the same; an anvil out of the sky landing squarely on my head.

Exposing this to your H is likely the most dignified thing that you will ever do in your life. You don’t see this now, but you will one day come to understand it crystal clear.

Make the commitment to do it today and follow through immediately. Then stay here and follow up with the support group.

Pick a time when he can be sitting down, you have no kids around, and you both can be safe.

There is hope lurioosi, but a lot of that has to do with how you handle this pivotal time of your life and accept the burden of responsibility now.

Be the heroine here.

Plank.

Plank, you are absolutely right. He knows I am not myself, and being bipolar can only explain so much - he can tell this is different. I am going to tell him -- soon. Basically, I just have to wait for a close friend of mine ot come back to town so I can ask her to take the kids for an evening this week. Anyone who reads this post - pray, pray, pray.

Lurioosi,

I am praying for you! Not only will it be okay, but it will be BETTER... never has a wiser expression been spoken, "the truth will set you free."

This will be the most difficult and emotional thing you will ever do in your life, but you will gain your respect, dignity and your soul back.

Also, being bipolar explains quite a bit... my brother is bipolar, so I understand (to a degree.) Have you been reading Callie1's thread? Take a look over there... her H has recently been diagnosed. There are several other folks on this board with BD, many who have been WS as well.

Please keep us updated... you are doing the right thing, and I am praying for you and your family!

KM