I don't get "sucked into" other people's problems/chaos.... and part of that means accepting that people suffer for their poor choices....and it's part of learning. I learned that as a mother and as a mentor....sometimes the best way to learn something is to fail and suffer. Wish it didn't have to be that way....I can empathize with the pain of learning that way....but it's a fact of life. I don't feel sorry for anyone (sympathize) but I do understand how it happens and why it happens.
I still believe in respecting "people" even if I abhor their "actions".
This is why I love reading whatever you write. For me...it hits home.
I don't subscribe to TOW, but I do remember taking a glance a couple years back...
It doesn't make me disgusted, I don't find it sickening, and I don't think it's my personal crucade to "show someone the light".
Whatever light...a person chooses...it's their right to choose. It's not "fog speak" ..."fog speak" is something every single one of us is guilty of at some point in a relationship. It's a chemical reaction...tried and proven....the same chemical reactions that happened to me.... when I was "dating" my H... sweaty palms, rapid heartbeat... is the same "fog" ... it just takes on positive and negative shadows, depending on the onlookers.
If someone says... I need someone to talk to .. help me... I'll rip a ticket out of the red doohickie on the counter... by all means. But I don't judge... it's not my place. I don't even judge my H's xOW ...because MY H... voluntarily MADE her and OW to begin with. Someone's H... is equally responsible for this "attitude" from which we rant.
It's just a level of tolerance.
I'm not a "rescuer"...but I'm a good listener.
But I TJed... but did want to say... I love your posts.