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my wife has surprisingly asked me, twice in the last two weeks, how my (individual) marriage counselling is going. The first time she asked, I told her a teeny bit about it. about how steve says that if both people want to work on a marriage, there are good possibilities for it. she kinda dismissed that politely. The second time she asked, I had to say, "I havent seen him again yet. i was planning to go next week" (this week).
Both times, she replied, "well, I hope that it's doing you some good"
I'm going to ask steve about this too, of course <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> but wanted to ask some opinions here, hopefully from WWs especially, what they think of this. and maybe suggestions from WWs on what a good way for me to reply is.
short background: my wife has been always against any kind of "counselling", either personal, or marital. I'm was surprised she asked the first time. but simply amazed when she asked the second time.
I figure there's no way she's going to go from where she thought about them previously, to suddenly saying, "ok I'll go with you." She's still in "we cant work things out between us" mode. but she's been coming over for occasional dinners, "for the childrens' sake". We split 50/50 time, but she has stated that she wants them to see us peacibly coexist.
but anyways, I was wondering about suggestions on how to respond, that might be a little more inviting on "yes this is a good thing that you might be interested in", without saying, "hey [wife] you should give it a try!"
ME: H, 35, married 9 years. 3 young sons
W:32, series of online "friendships"
1st D-day: some time 2004 (online EA) OM broke off, NC june 2005, but no recovery plan
2nd D-day: june 20th, 2006("ILY" to "friend"). W moved out next day.
Oct 2006, starts being around a 3rd guy instead. Mar 2007, stopped?
Current status: Separated. W filed D. in July 2006, served Dec 11th, my response filed Jan 8th
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Joined: Apr 2001
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You could tell her that she might want to talk to Steve just to make sure he's getting HER side of the story as well, so SHE can explain it directly to him and know for sure he's getting the facts. Mulan
Me, BW WH cheated in corporate workplace for many years. He moved out and filed in summer 2008.
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Joined: Jul 2005
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Continuing along the same vein as Mulan...Tell her that your counselor needs to talk to her to be able to help YOU...That your counselor feels that he is not able to get the whole picture of YOU without her input...Tell your WW that in order for you to get the help you need, you would really appreciate her cooperation...
Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Joined: Jul 2006
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oooo... good idea, thanks
ME: H, 35, married 9 years. 3 young sons
W:32, series of online "friendships"
1st D-day: some time 2004 (online EA) OM broke off, NC june 2005, but no recovery plan
2nd D-day: june 20th, 2006("ILY" to "friend"). W moved out next day.
Oct 2006, starts being around a 3rd guy instead. Mar 2007, stopped?
Current status: Separated. W filed D. in July 2006, served Dec 11th, my response filed Jan 8th
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