Last time I posted it was when my WxH was going to marry the OW on my 40th Birthday and the celebration my in-laws were going to throw had to be cancelled. So now I have other plans going out with girlfriends, he has now changed the date to July 7, 2007. He feels that date is lucky (7-7-7) He is going need more than luck, I feel.

He recently attended a convention with the OW and I had some colleagues who also attend, they could not believe their eyes.

They told me she was so controlling over him, where he just followed her like a lost and confused puppy. It was all about her and what she wanted. Totally opposite of me. In a way I feel sorry for him but I did warn him that once she has a ring on her finger her personality will change, he could not see her malipulating controlling side of her. He was in the fog phase of the relationship.He also told me he would never get married again but I knew she would have a say in that.

I know everything he has done to me was really the other woman, not that he is not to blame, but I have been with him since 1988 and married him in 1990, I think I know his makeup as person very well. I wished he was more strong willed and stand up for himself.

Believe me the OWXH could not run fast enough when he found out about the A, it seem he wanted to escape her so badly.

Now I feel like, how could she treat him this way, and why do I feel so protective of him? The OW has him, she should treat him with respect but she treats him like dirt. Why do I still care? Even if he comes back, I don't think I would take him back but I feel like I just want to smack her for treating him this way. He was malipulated by her, she would not even let us work on our marriage (which he was trying to do at first) but she would not have any of that. She made sure we would never get back together, by getting him as far from me as possible.

.........because you loved and/or still love him, not her.

Also, you are giving you XH way too much credit and putting way too much blame on the OW. She cant MAKE him do anything that he doesnt want to do. He is an adult....right?

Maybe a little.

I know he is to blame also and not the victim in all of this. He also has been played, and so have I.

The OW played so many games to ruin our marriage and she succeed. She also try to get me fire from my job and ruin my very close relationship with his family, with out success. They actually see her for what she is. I guess I was naive. I only thought people played those sort of games on the soaps, real people don't do those kind of things.

My WxH always told me I try to find the good in people. Which I do, but the first time I met the OW years before the A, there was a strong feeling that came over me, I remember turning to WxH (who didn't really know her back then) and saying "There is something about her I don't trust" He was shocked by my reaction since I see the good in people, but I should have trusted my instincts about her instetad I let her work with WXH and the rest in history.

I guess I will always care about him, but I don't like it when someone treats someone like crap, but he made his choice and now he has to live with it.