I'm perplexed.

How do I know the difference between a "flat out lie" and the "truth"?

After our breakthrough conversation last night, my husband didn't look and feel relieved like I was. Instead, he seemed saddened and had a somewhat unsure (maybe even worried) look on his face as we prepared our quick, near midnight dinner together. We were both EXHAUSTED. I wonder if that was just him or if there was a reason for it.

Here's what happened:

Our relationship talk was started by him. He could see that I wasn't going to allow myself to be turned into the bad guy by sharing my feelings with him. And that if we were going to work on our relationship (after no SF all week), he was going to have to do some fair INPUT. We ended up talking right through dinner and the kids had to put themselves to bed that night.

I asked plenty of questions to clarify where the conversation was going. We fruitfully got to the point where I had to REPEAT my needs about what he could do to earn my trust and explained how this would help me not to be suspicious that there was someone else.

He told me that he hasn't even come close to having a relationship with anyone besides me since we have been married and went further to say that he would stand before a Priest and put his hand on a Bible and tell me again if that's what I needed to believe him.

I burst into painful tears as I asked him what took him so long to reassure me that there was no one else after I had expressed months ago that I felt I was not the only woman in our marriage. He got up, closed the bedroom door and that's when the real conversation began.

The rest was almost a blur for me and I lost some of my composure. Now he knows that I have been completely suspicious of him, but still doesn't know that I am snooping on him.

He began to question whether or not Dr. Harley's books have been causing these suspicions.

I told him that my suspicions began BEFORE I read anything from Dr. Harley. In fact, it was because I was suspicious of him that I found the MB website in the first place.

I explained how my suspicious began later summer (2006) and SNOWBALLED during that fall and through the Christmas season. I explained how my imagination has been going wild because of his seemingly secretive behavior and that as far as I was concerned his behavior resembled that of an adulterer.

In no time at all, he told me he understood why I have had these suspicions (confirming the fact that they are NOT my imagination).

To help him understand how to earn back my trust, I tried explaining what transparency means and encouraged him to read what Dr. Harley has to say about building a good (suspicious free) marriage.

Later in the conversation, he surprised me a little by asking me if I have had a relationship with anyone since we've been married.

I looked at him (although he didn't keep eye contact with me) and waited for him to complete his judgmental ("don't get upset"…) question before I replied with a confident and reassuring "No". Then I added that just because I answered "no" doesn't mean that I haven't been approached by another man.

He asked me if I was approached by another man and if so, what had happened (explained in a previous post). I answered all his questions truthfully.

Later, my husband commented on how deeply HURT he was about what our son had said about the same man who tried to take his wife away, "He was like a father to me". I tried to put into perspective that this man's "interest" and "conversation" is what appealed to our son.

Now my husband and I are emailing each other about our relationship again. If things don't work out that way, then I can go back to ultra Plan A (no relationship talk) until we can converse again.

In the meantime, I would like to know if this sounds right or do many adulterers ask for Bibles to swear on?

I do realize that an adulterer is not going to tell the truth under those conditions anyway and that what a spouse needs is confirming actions, not words.

Sadly adulterors swear on bibles, their kids lives, and anything else that is convincing.

You are correct. Watch the actions, not the words.

Believer,

I know you're right.

I am going to do my best to find consistency in my husband's behavior, giving him a fair chance in case he is telling the truth, and at the same time verify his actions with my spying tools. Only then can I let go and believe him.

In the meantime, we seem to be getting along better now. So this is good news.

Update…

I have been expecting a suspect email to show up (keylogger report) on my husband's computer.

Yesterday it came.

Only this time there were no images (same suspected woman as previously posted).

There was nothing suspicious about it. EXCEPT that I was particularly expecting it since my husband will be planning to go out of town this weekend or the next weekend. The last time he received an email from this suspected woman was on a Monday, 2 weeks before his last monthly trip.

He always gets his haircut before his monthly trip, which now concerns me. Why does this monthly trip (errands, shopping) warrant a nice hair cut but our dinner outs and other functions do not?

So I've been watching. If he receives an email from this woman once a month (for months and months) and it always arrives on a Monday, 2 weeks before he travels out of town for this Saturday trip, I may begin to piece something together.

We'll see.

Hmmm. What did the email say?

Believer,


Not much. She always seems to be a "damsel in distress" asking for help, though.

That's supposedly why my husband bought some product stock for her self-employed business in the past, which I objected to afterwards (previous post).

The emails are just about her problems with shipping and equipment that she can't seem to work out for herself – as "knowledgeable" as my husband claimed she is.

This is what I have begun to imagine, even though it could be far fetched and completely untrue:

This woman emails my husband to indicate a time frame for getting together. The email has a business appearance and comes from a business woman, so he is NOT GUILTY for participating in an inappropriate relationship – especially using a business computer. He gets a hair cut before he leaves for his monthly day-long trip, and parks in a parking lot where he should be parked in case anyone recognizes his vehicle. He meets up with this woman and gets into her car and they go somewhere else together. She pays for whatever communication tools, hotels or meals it takes for them to have a relationship. He never gets caught.

I try not to think this way, really.

I can't remember if I mentioned this in an earlier post, but one time I noticed that my husband smelled differently after coming home from one of these day trips. I instinctively searched my mind as to what building he was in to acquire that particular smell (not necessarily perfume). I just about blurted out my discovery, but caught myself, as I would not have been able to explain my suspicions to the children who were present, especially if I was wrong.

Since then, I've realized that you don't want your spouse to know that you may be recognizing signs of possible cheating in order to gather more information on it. So these suspicions have been ADDING UP in my head.

The change in his behavior toward me when he travels concerns me most of all.

He often comes home later than he expects. At least now he calls and lets me know, depending on the trip.

Sometimes I don't know about a trip until after it happens (hair cuts, accounting meeting). Or I do know about a trip, but not all of the plans he had for the trip (making another significant stop that I don't find out about until later).

Those are the kinds of things that have been building up my suspicions.

Believer,

Oh, and I forgot to mention. I inspected his underwear from last month's day trip and found what I think are 2 cat hairs toward the back. We have a cat, but we rarely let it in the house or in any vehicle. So where would he be sitting to collect these cat hairs while on his day trip?

I plan to send the underwear in for DNA testing. I just haven't been able to get myself to do it thinking that this couldn't be for real. I wish I would just DO IT and see if there are any answers. Maybe I can send it in with his next trip's underwear and verify both at the same time.

First I need some replacement underwear so that all his underwear doesn't turn up missing!

It's hard to know. Did he reply to the woman?

The cat hair sounds suspicious. But did you do a sperm test on the underwear?

Believer,


No, I haven't found any email replies by him in the keylogger reports, to my relief.


What I mean by DNA testing is professional testing for semen and/or vaginal fluids and then if present, further DNA testing to verify.

The apparent cat hairs caught my eye and are the reason why I kept the underwear for testing. I understand that hairs and things are important in forensics, so why not verify.

P.S. I'm going to be out of a connection area for about 24 hours, so I won't be able to post for a while.

Observing,

I am totally in awe of the thoroughness and secretiveness of your investigation. "Snooping" is just too elementary a word for what you are having to do to find out the slightest crumbs of info on what your H is up to. If your H is indeed engaged in an EA or PA, he is masterful at hiding it, and there's no way you'd ever catch him if you were the average reluctant-to-snoop BS. I hope for your sake it turns out to be nothing...but if there is something, I hope you find concrete evidence soon ... because the sooner the cards are all on the table, the sooner your marriage can *really* recover.

Take care... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Fiatflux,


That's right.

And I sure appreciate your kindness and compassion.

I was going to reply with more details on the difficulty of getting information from my husband's cell phone along with questions for input from other posters on this website as to what to do about it, but this morning's events changed that.

I may now have access to my husband's cell phone records (TODAY update below)!

Take care, and I'll eventually let you know what I find (or don't find).

YESTERDAY:

Feel much better these days.

It seems that after our last tearful discussion, things have changed for the better.

I think my husband was blown away when I told him that I thought he was an adulterer.

I ended up saying, that when he leaves town and then comes home late, "How do I know you're not out having sex"? He just thought to himself quietly.

I think he had things worked up in his mind about me. It must have made him think when I explained how I turned down another man for his sake, even when I didn't feel like he loved me.

In the following days, when he asked me to continue letting him know about my feelings, I was courteous but direct, that in the past there were times when I just wanted to get sex "over with" and that the night of our talk I felt like our hasty sex satisfied him, but not me, making him aware that he needs to think (stop forgetting) about me as much as he thinks about himself.

I think he's sorting out things in his mind that I couldn't share with him before because he didn't think I was entitled to feelings that oppose his own view of our relationship.

He is now emailing me daily, as requested, about his addiction struggles and how he is trying to overcome them.

He is also treating me with more care and kindness. This gives me hope.

Like yesterday morning, when I was ready to leave with the kids for skiing, he came over to give me a sincere hug and kiss good-bye before we drove away. Don't remember one like that since our earlier years of marriage.

I have to straddle two different emotions right now. One in that I am trying to allow trust to return in my heart and the other that I must be vigilant on verifying his actions to make sure I can trust him.

I wish I could choose one or the other and in doing so, be more consistent.

TODAY:

This morning I took my husband's pillow and BEAT THE BED with it a few times.

I just couldn't cope with the fact that I had just lost an entire hour's worth of precious energy, trying to write my husband a positive email explaining the basic list that I needed from him about his daily struggles and what he's doing to over come them.

You see, he had sent me progress emails for the last 3 days, which I truly appreciated, but the information was so completely VAGUE (beating around the bush) that I couldn't even understand it, let alone be reassured by it.

That's when I decided to give him a basic example list of "successes and failures" to help him out. I did this along with a carefully written and courteous explanation of how I need this compared to the ones he has been sending me. He wants me to be honest, right?

So when I hit the wrong button on my PDA/Phone draft instead of the "save" button, I LOST IT.

I felt like giving up. Why do I have to be his secretary over this? Why is it so hard to get the truth out of him? Why can't he just be open and honest with me? Why do I have to let his problem consume me?

No more than a minute later, I received a gentle text message from my husband saying that he didn't feel like working today. I replied that his day must be going as BADLY as mine.

That must have caught his attention. He remembered that I had stayed up late last night, after getting back from a day with the kids, typing something (another MB website post). He asked me if anything was wrong before going to sleep. I said no, because there really wasn't.

Minutes later, he CALLED, and happened to intercept an email I was writing to tell him that I finally needed TIME OUT from our relationship. I hesitatingly answered the phone and calmly explained what just happened.

We talked for more than an hour about how we would try again with the emailed list and then get counseling on the phone with Steve Harley as our next move if that didn't work out, before taking TIME OUT on our relationship.

Now he knows how MANY hours-a-day for months and months I have been putting into trying to solve our relationship problems and that I was BURNING OUT.

He asked me if I believed him that he is not cheating on me. I said no. I said that I needed proof by his actions, plus he needs to be transparent with me about where he goes and what he does.

While we were talking about what a counselor would have us do, he said he didn't have a problem with giving me a copy of his business cell phone billing records for the past 6 months if that's what I wanted.

But he added that he should only do that for his own phone and not the other few phones on the same "family plan" and that he wouldn't be responsible if his truck drivers made inappropriate calls.

I said I wanted the entire record for ALL the phones since all phones were available for HIS use at anytime.

Besides, if his employees were making inappropriate calls on business phones, then it would come out when I inspected the bills and his company should do something about it. He admitted the wisdom in that right away.

He also offered me a remote connection to his computer, although he admitted that his emails could still be deleted by the time I got there since he deletes all of our private emails, as I already know.

What's more, he offered to take me on all of his trips, including to the doctor, on his monthly day trip and out of state trips, which we couldn't do before because someone had to take care of the kids. Now our kids are old enough to take care of each other.

I felt amazingly relieved. But he looked devastated at lunch time.

The only reason I am bothered and wanted to post here was because he volunteered that if I wanted to kick him out of the house, he would understand and accept it. What?

Why would he be willing to be kicked out of the house if he was innocent? Or, is he admitting that his Adultery of the Heart has "gone too far" (as indicated in another email regarding the portrait issue)?

Last time (months ago), when he mentioned "separation" as a way of solving our problems, it really bothered me. So I had a question planned for him the next time he brought up something like that, "Are you planning on going some where? He immediately defended himself by saying that he had no plans of going anywhere.

He said that he can understand how his problem is consuming me and that he doesn't want to ruin my life anymore than he already has.

He said he thought he was giving me what I wanted in his progress emails but that it was "not enough". I agreed that what he gave me was "not enough honesty". And that trying to appease me with 10% of the truth isn't going to work for me. It would only bring us to the TIME OUT phase – INDEFINITELY.

He also implied that my "lack of trust" could be a problem in fixing our relationship. I explained that he needs to give me a reason to trust again.

That's where we're at.

Observing:

Just my random thoughts.

Most folks in an A leave a wide trail of evidence, especially if they think they are not being watched. Your H does not appear to think that he is being watched carefully by you, at least from an electronic and/or GPS point of view.

You review his business e-mail and find nothing untoward. He keeps this account clean. But if he was in contact with another woman, he would open up another email account. With no connection to the company system. You may think that he isn't very High-tech, but even WH's can learn enough to open up other email accounts and cover up thier contact. And your key logger should have picked this up. But it hasn't. Remember that.

Can one e-mail be enough to co-ordinate a clandestine meeting? Yes. They may have it all worked out, and that is all it takes.

But this would have to be an A that only needs four hours and one e-mail a month to stay alive.

Your Husband could be on the office/Cell phone with OW for hours. But you would know that as well.

Soooo.....

What I am thinking is that he may have had and A in the past, but that he is not currently involved in one.

Because people in affairs need to talk to each other, because they are "so in love", they are "soulmates" and even the most despicable man needs to sweet talk the woman he is about to bed......

OK?

Unless this OW is just a prostitute and needs to schedule your H's time. Just confirming: 2:30 on the 3rd, a regular delivery for $150.

And that is a different problem to address....

Lousygolfer,

I appreciate your random thoughts.

They help me confirm my latest findings that my husband may not be currently displaying adulterous (EA, PA) behavior.


You're right. He has no idea his vehicle is being tracked and therefore is not trying to hide anything that way. But even if it wasn't tracked, he is NOT one to be caught parked where he shouldn't be.

It's funny. He knows where everyone else is going and what they are supposedly doing.

You know how some people are "street wise"? I think my husband is "worldly wise".


That's right. My keylogger has not picked up access to another email account besides his business account which resides on his computer. Good news.


You're right again. I found out that this email is not what I suspected it to be (update below).


Unless he was using a calling card or had a separate post office box to use with a separate cell phone (as I've read has happened to people on this forum).

I told my husband I didn't want to be the BLIND wife.


This seems possible.

I also noticed his cell phone records (update below) had much LESS activity in the last few months than earlier in the year, but this could be due to his slower business season.

I have been asking a lot of questions in the last few days, trying to turn over every possible stone, and he answered that there has been no prostitute or One Night Stand (ONS), even though he admitted that it would be hard to prove that.

At least now that I have attempted to call TIME OUT on our relationship, he is taking this seriously and is answering all of my questions – some better than others.

Update...

I'm sad. Because I am not enough for my husband, he is always looking for more.

Like yesterday, when we joined a large gathering of people. He didn't realize I was standing next to a woman who caught his attention while he was listening to a speaker. I had made my way around the crowd since I wanted to take some video clips at different angles. I was about 10-20 feet away from my husband when I looked at him and SMILED, thinking that he just turned his head to acknowledge me standing there. But he didn't smile at me and turned his head back to the speaker. It was then that I realized he was looking at the woman who was standing only 2 feet in front of me and missed his wife altogether!

I was sick. I just wish my husband would notice me like he notices other women.

I was even wearing the diamonds he just bought me over the weekend. He bought them as a way of saying "thank you" for putting up with him and as a sign of renewal in our marriage. At least he could have noticed those!

Yeah, I could have asked for anything in the jewelry store over the weekend (last time he bought me diamonds was before we were married) and he would have bought it for me, but I was reasonable.

Next time, I probably shouldn't be. Maybe I should give him a FINANCIAL reason (insurance) to pay attention to me. Or color my hair a glistening blonde (I'm brunette) or wear a long red wool coat for the next speech!

We did have a great weekend though. Two things were different about his monthly trip. One, he didn’t get his usual hair cut. Two, he took ME with him.

He did remarkably well in making me feel loved in his efforts to help me build trust in him again. It did occur to me that he was behaving so well because he knew I was present and watching.

This happened after receiving his emails late last week about his struggles and what he was doing to overcome them. My trust was building rapidly (even though he doesn't experience his greatest trials at work). That is why I accepted the diamonds.

I had also quickly sorted through the year's cell phone records that he brought home immediately after I had originally called TIME OUT on our relationship over the phone last week. This was probably the WAKE UP call for him since he is of the mind that once I make that kind of decision, there would be no turning back.

I will be checking out his computer soon. I no longer need a reason to go to his office. He knows I would rather have random access to his actual computer than browser access to his email account (which might not be the only email account he could access) or remote access to his computer. Really, I only need to secretly change the keylogger settings, so that's nice.

But he will be taking a business day trip with his secretary toward the end of this week and I will decline to go along with them since I don't want to feel like a chaperone. I mentioned that traveling with his secretary was not only inappropriate, but also scandalous to my best girlfriend who works in the bookkeeping office and might be led to think something's going on. His secretary is NO threat to me (although she is steeped in marital problems), but still. He admitted that if she were a different woman, I might be concerned. I replied that if she was a different woman, he would NEVER be allowed to go, except by risking his marriage!

We did talk about my suspicions of the woman he bought product stock for. He had a good laugh and said, "You should see what she looks like"! Then he explained her appearance, which confirmed to me that he would not be interested. I believed him (and can visit the woman who lives just 20 minutes away to make sure). So now I have relief with that (she is only a damsel in distress, just like her email indicates). That's more good news.

I think we have covered a lot of ground in the last few days and my husband claimed that I would NOT find ANYTHING regarding adulterous behavior on his part. He said that if he was cheating, there would be an easy TRAIL for me to find and that he would never hand me his cell phone under those circumstances.

But when I asked him why he stood by and watched me enter preset text messages into his cell phone, he did not give me a satisfactory answer. I have asked this more than once.

I never did ask him why he showed up in the office that night when I was making copies (and also trying to change the keylogger settings).

His cell phone records show a lot of INCOMING calls, but the actual incoming phone number is not listed on the billing records. So although nothing looks suspicious at first glance, I only have half the records, right?

I am very happy with my husband's attempt to make me feel comfortable and give me any information I want. In his words, "I'll do anything you want me to do".

I do feel bad for asking, which was part of the guilt trip he put me on and then he apologized.

He did say that he wants to get everything out in the open NOW. He doesn't want DOUBTS to creep up later when he thinks everything is going fine again.

Last night, he could tell I was sad. He offered TIME OUT, which he called a "break". I just couldn't ruin the momentum we had going, so I declined.

I just let him know that I didn't want anymore "struggle updates" by email. I didn't say it, but what's the use of getting email updates when as soon as he thinks I'm not paying attention, he's back to looking again?

I was under the impression we had made huge progress in just a few days. He made me feel so loved again and I did the same for him. Over the weekend he had a twinkle in his eye and a smile on his face. I enjoyed seeing him that way.

Even our sexual relationship has made incredible progress as my husband learns to be a giver, not just a taker. I am very pleased with his efforts.

What's more, his wedding ring is at the jeweler for diamond replacement and we are currently looking for a frame for his office portrait.

But yesterday, when I accidentally (not looking for it) saw him MISS seeing me but NOT MISS seeing the woman standing next to me, my heart SUNK. It told me that he still wants more than what he's already got.

I noticed that he acted strange once we joined the crowd. I knew he was fighting his battle. I didn't like the feeling. I'm not sure I want to be out in the public with him. I feel like he's not the husband I cherish when he's like that. I simply can't find JOY in not being enough for him.

A few days ago, after discussing how much I have tried to make things better for us, he did concede that no matter how much Sexual Fulfillment I gave him, it would not have stopped him from looking. Over the weekend, he said that 1 month ago, he would not have been ready to buy me diamonds. What does all this mean?

Does it mean that I am living with a man who can't help himself and I just have to live with this for the rest of my life?

Last night, I just wanted to crawl in bed, fall asleep and die (except for being there for my children).

Today, I am trying to work up the courage to smile and be happy again even though I know this won't change anything for my husband's wandering eyes.

Hi I just came across this thread and this is something I have been concerned with my FWH. I was wondering what you classify and "looking" at other women? Is is more than one glance? I have never noticed my FWH "look" before but then I never watched him until I found out he cheated on me, now I see him look at women but I don't know if he's "looking" because they're good looking or if it's just normal looking. I see him glance quick glances at the same person more than once so that's why I was wondering what you guys consider "looking" or appropriate. He definetly doesn't gawk at people. Thanks, I hope it was ok to post on this thread.

I just glanced through this thread...here's where I'm lost.

You've been snooping since October, suspecting something. You've done some pretty impressive snooping at that...most people aren't nearly as adept as you are. This coming from someone who is (in his own opinion) a pretty sharp 'snooper' himself.

You've seen NO evidence of an affair this entire time. Not one true thing to seriously give any kind of indication of an EA or PA. Or have I missed something? (I saw the 'suspect email" thing...but none of those were common occurences, or contained any suspect information at all)

Either you're married to James Bond, or the odds of something really going on are slim.

I would agree that it appears that both of you have some definite areas to work on to improve your marriage...but it doesn't appear that an affair is the issue here to me. And I'm one of the most suspicious people around.

What would it take...what 'proof' do you need...to decide he's NOT having an affair? If there's no answer to that question...it might be time to think about it.

I'm sorry if this comes across as harsh and judegmental...it's not. I just don't know how else to describe my thoughts after reading the thread. I'm not 'condemning you'...I'm just curious why you still suspect infidelity after all of your thorough checking.

Observing:

You describe a lousy situation here.



But we have discussed your reaction to this in the past.



He may have just NOT SEEN you. You were in a crowd. Yes, he was distracted by something else, but you PRESUME that he was ignoring you.

Don't do that ok. Because the rest of what you describe is a man that many women around here would die for.


Gives you free access to e-mail, cell phone and office computer.
Provides you with a nice home, standard of living and doesn't seem physically abusive.
Compliments you and pays attention to you when you were out with him for the weekend.

Hitting many stong points there.

And you have discussed with him his behavior regarding looking at other women. And he seems to be telling you that he isn't going to do it around you anymore.

And when he does it when you are not around, you freak out.

Relax. Decide what it is IN YOU that so troubles you about his behavior in regards to this.

Because the only way you can ever prevent him from not looking, is to put his eyes out.

Now this quote with my responses in ALL CAPS:




As for this:

I would call that a disrespectful judgement. (DJ) Especially in light of this:



He is TRYING to change the behavior that you told him you do not like him to do. HE needs to fight the battle. You need to provide encouragement and admiration when you see him doing it. Say something like "I know it is uncomfortable for you not to stare at all these beautiful women in this crowd, thank you for trying to change that behavior in you. I love you even more for it."

And for this:



The first part is the realization that he will look, and he is trying to change his behaviors. And the amount of SF he gets will not change it. Because the two are not related. But the second is more telling. He wanted to do it for you, not in the past, but now. And this past W/E you were alone with him and able to shower him with love. And he could shower you with it as well. And you ended up with diamonds...

So, Observing, we started with you H looking at OW as a recreational pastime, one that you took great offense from. You have discussed it with him and he has toned it down and is now visibly working to prevent himself from staring.

What have you done?

LG

Wantingtomoveon,

Welcome, and thank you for posting here. I'm so sorry your husband cheated on you. I do hope you find the answers you are looking for.

I consider "looking" (at least the kind that hurts me) as when my husband either looks past me to get a better look at another woman and ignores me altogether while he's doing it, or when he REPEATEDLY looks (can't get enough glances to satisfy his curiosity) at another woman who is either scantily dressed or is young and naïve to his presence.

I think it is ONE thing to notice and appreciate the beauty of another person and ANOTHER thing to look at them or their body parts to satisfy a sexual interest or urge. The latter is what I am calling looking (repeated and persistent glances) or gawking (staring without being sensitive to women as persons instead of objects).

The reason it bothers me is because it makes me feel like I am not enough for my husband and that he is desperate to seek out MORE. If that is the case, then I would like him to spare me (leave me alone) and go after his WANTS elsewhere. I don't need false love. Nor do I want it.

I have never been a jealous person and that may be why I hardly noticed his looking over the years and then survived (made the best of it) when it did happen, although it has gotten worse and has made me think there is someone else in his life.

Even then, I have explained to my husband that I haven't felt so much like there has been another woman as much as I have felt that he WANTS other women. How would he like it if I wanted MANY other men?

Basically, he makes me feel like adultery is in his heart when he zooms in on a heavy-set lady's bare legs with a high skirt on one end of the table and a young women's half bare breasts on the other end of the table, all while having breakfast with his dear wife and children at a nearby table.

After a bunch of this, you just get SUSPICIOUS!!!

Once the suspicion starts, then you NOTICE it ALL the time. That's what happened to me.

I have asked my husband, what is it that he WANTS when he looks at other women. He can't seem to give me an answer. Well, it couldn't possibly be ME!