Thanks, I was wondering because I have an inlaw who is connected to one branch of a family by the same name in W (Have you figured out where that is?). There are several who share your first name in that branch, so I just wondered if there was a connection. The inlaw did say that there are relatives who live up north, which made me wonder even more.

Hiya, Str8,

Thank you for your continued posting. How do you feel about continuing where you left off? How do you feel about owning your stuff...being radically honest with yourself?

Wanna share any updates here as to where you are, what you're focused on, and you know, sharing your stuff?

Did you see where many people here cared about you...were you aware of your own significance? How are you doing inside...c'mon, spill.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

LA

Whitfield? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Well, I am still in New Ulm, but am looking into moving to Hutchinson, for that is where I work now. The maker has provided me with the best opportunity I have ever had(employment wise). I am looking at a very nice 4 br house there for the babies and I, which I can now afford by myself, thanks to this wonderful job.

The Ms. has moved out, renting a house in Madelia(20 mi. away) that is, to be kind, a "fixer upper". She still intends on keeping the girls in this school district. She has installed her own version of custody/visitation, in which she feels we have equal time with the kids, but with me having the kids when she is working, the ratio is @ 70% : 30%. I work days, she works nights, so that has me still being the primary parental influence, and her still being the absentee parent.

I did not want to be forced into a plan B, because I find it very difficult to turn my back on someone I promised I would never turn my back to, but she has unknowingly instituted it. I make twice mas much pay wise as she does, yet she has twice the monthly bills. I am planning to move into the house in Hutch, build a good relationship with the landlord, and then talk to him about the purchase option. This house is for me and the kids. She will be welcome to visit. She also will be welcome to move in once she gets a taste of the reality she has been hiding from, but not without a marked level of repentance. Not to me, but to herself and The Man. As Dr. Jeremiah put it, "I don't care how bad you've messed things up, I love you. Come back, with the right heart, and there is a place for you here."

I suppose you could say I'm manning up for the kids, and this job and house have me feeling so optimistic, except for the emotional pain that is still there from the void that the wife should be filling.

So, I guess I am building the future with or without her. She knows she can always count on me, and I know I can't count on her; that's one thing that is crystal clear between us. My integrity is a good quality, but an obstacle to the plan.

My only real judgment against you is that you have been totally dishonest since you first began posting. All you ever said in your original thread was that you were, aside from being perfection embodied, maybe a little weak. Now it comes out that your weakness included beating your wife. I don't think I have judged you for that - just that you didn't disclose it.

I am also no longer interested in your sitch so will no longer be reading your thread.

Your wife must be desperate to get away to put her children at risk of abuse. Most abusers don't limit themselves to their spouse.

No one has been dishonest here. Again, you have not paid attention to what you have read. I have stated implicitly that I have made my mistakes, I just have not gone into detail about them. When the details arise, you, like my wife, take them running and say I was lying.

Once more, and for the last time, I NEVER BEAT MY WIFE, AND SHE WILL PERSONALLY ATTEST TO THAT. She would also confirm that there has been no further abuse. her rants in that post were fabrications and exaggerations meant solely to hurt me for my views of the man she left me for and my disclosure of the circumstances of his son's death.

The only thing about me near perfection is my heart, which is fueled by God.

Abuse? This coming from a person whose country turns a blind eye toward spousal abuse, and whose religion condones, even promotes it. My wife desperate? The only desperation I could think of would be Middle Eastern women desperate to get into a country that punishes for spousal abuse. I was punished, and I learned from it.

To all that care, I apologize for using my teeth. However, I am tired of those who place themselves above others and exhibit no humility, especially when they try and exploit me and my situation to further glorify their false, perceived superiority. Hiroo reminds me of that best friend of Stacy's that is herself guilty of adultery, and tries to belittle me for remembering my commitment, and advises Stacy to continue the infidelity.

I have read your signature, and just want you to consider one thing.

In the New Testament, I have read that if you find yourself unequally yoked, to live your life in a way where the love of God shines through so brightly that it cannot be ignored. There is also a song by Newsboys that is called "Shine". In the chorus it says "Shine, make 'em wonder what you got, make 'em wish that they were not on the outside lookin' bored."

Food for thought.

Hiroo is from Arkansas.

From str8jktmn's post on 2/7/2007



From str8jktmn's post on 2/10/2007



-bold emphasis mine...

I'm confused... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> The two quotes above seem to contradict one another...You said that you didn't make the post on the other site, and then you turn around and say that Stacy is angry with you because you disclosed the details about the death of OM's son...(which WAS a part of the post from the other site)

Please Explain...

Mrs. W

I told her friends and family what happened a long time ago. She had since stopped focusing on that, but this refreshed her memory. She keeps holding on to past grudges. I believe the reason we are still in this rut is because, as the rationalization theory goes, the ws uses past occurrences to attempt to justify their inconsiderate behavior. Is that correct?

I told her that I would never bring up the affair; that I would never throw it in her face to prove a point or keep score. I do the best I can to not bring up her past indiscretions when she decides to bring up mine to rationalize or prove a point. In my mind, the affair is the only flaw that she has that would require intense, immediate attention in the way of change. Others that she may have aren't as severe in my mind, and can stand modification instead of omission. The one thing I cannot get her to do, is tell me the flaws I currently have that she would like modified or omitted in order to enhance our recovery, because she is still in a place where recovery is not an option right now, but "anything is possible" in her words. She keeps holding on to my past flaws; those that I have dealt with. Maybe those are all she has to "justify" her actions.