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Bob, tears in my eyes, tears in my eyes. I hope you were always a true English gentlemen <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> m2L
M2L
ME BH 36 - FWW 33
2 kids
DDAY May 06
Sometimes waywards can be like Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
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Bob,
Thank you for sharing your awesome weekend with us. Thank you for giving others hope.
It is truly great to read this this morning.
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Congratulations Bob !
What a wonderful idea to make it a special weekend for just the two of you.
I'm so glad you're starting to heal.
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what a nice thread to read!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Bob, i couldn't be happier for you both.
God Bless!!!
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Congratulations Bob! I am happy to see how well you have healed. And your M as well. You deserve it !
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A lot of what we said and did are far too intimate to recount. Just know that we know how we feel about each other now. I realised that I have felt appreciated by Squid because of my efforts in recovery , but possibly not loved FOR MYSELF. I learned that Squid truly loves me for myself.
I do not write this as a travelogue: I wrote it to show readers how far Squid and I have come from a very unpleasant affair. I was broken: suicidal, Squid's entitlement and vindictiveness knew no bounds.
Yet I doubt there has ever been a happier couple as we were last weekend, and it did not end when we returned home. W were not temporarily deludedly happy for teh sak of our anniversary: our weekend was a maninfestation of how far we have come.
YES we both still hurt sometimes, but I can say, at last, that we are now reunited as man and wife. No man has torn us asunder. we have some way to go to be fully healed, but we ar ehappier than we ever thought we could be again. Congratulations on the 20th, Bob! It sounds as though He has been answering your prayers and meeting both of your needs to bring you closer than ever before. God bless!
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Congratulations Bob! Your post brought tears to my eyes just as it gave me hope.
All the best to you and the next 20 more years -- at the least.
God bless you both.
soph
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Funny ol Silverback!
You tole me on my thread you wanted to be jeeest like me when you grew up....
humph!....and I want to be jeeest like you when I do (sans the body hair, of course)!
Tell Squiddy that you and your progeny are welcome in mi casa ANY TIME!
All my love to my lighthouses,
Kimmy
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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Hey Bob, I think this is 'as good as it gets'! Many congratulations.
WH and I had a wonderful childless time in Spain 5 yrs ago now. It was so good we bought a house there (or should I say moneypit, but that's another story!)
Really happy for you both. TT
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Just perfect! Your story was one of my inspirations, and choose to model my actions and philosophies after yours.....and it paid off!!!
God bless!
MWIL
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MWIL I am humbled. And delighted ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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Bob: I learned that Squid truly loves me for myself. Been waiting for that one, you have, you have. All the best sir and I am glad for you :-) That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger - I'd say you are one strong bloke. All the best to you and Squid.
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Mr. Pure,
Just wanted to chime in with the rest and say congrats!!
Couldn't have happened to a nicer feller!
Got a little misty myself there.
kirk
CORDUROY PILLOWS ARE MAKING HEADLINES!!
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I couldn't be happier for you, BobPure.
What a wonderful ending to a story so full of pain and dispair.
Blessings to both you and Squid,
Your friend always,
k.d's heartbreak
In the end, I have nothing to lose but everything to gain, by trying to save my marriage.
Me, betrayed wife 46
Former Wandering Husband, 51 E/A 2005
28 years of marriage
DD 26, DS 24
O/W aka, Rat 29, A-D Assisted Living
Discovery 8-20-05 Recovery ongoing.
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Bobpure
We just spent a lovely time in central Australia on the week of our 20th anniversary. Only 2 months after discovery of FWS's affairs.
Things are working well. Copybook MB's I would say. We both are still having big ups and downs but now many more ups than downs. We are having great fun together and are spending the time together that we need to bond more.
Congratulations.
BS female 43 years old
FWS 47 years old
Married 1986
Two boys - 18 and 15
Affairs discovered 23rd July 2006
(4 mth A was 2 years into marriage
recent 2 year + A)
FWS 100% NC
Marriage Builders works
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Bob,
Hmmmm, I must say, that I am not surprised. The logical conclusion of your investment into recovery has been obvious for some time.
Next up? One day you and Squid will view this ordeal as a positive to your life together. What I am suggesting is that one day the positives will have outweighed the negatives. The joys that you each feel has occurred because of the new appreciation you have gained for each other. I might suggest that you understand how fragile love can be. It is more fragile and valuable then ever thought. This newfound knowledge will cause you and your wife to protect each other with a long lasting focus.
It may be a bit sad and unfortunate to suggest but the new closeness that you and your wife feel for each other was made possible because you both stood at the edge of the abyss. It was dark, cold and lonely and it touched your cheek like the sharp blade of a cold sickle. I can’t help but believe that that knowledge will fuel your love for each other for the rest of your days. The “fix” is in and I’m thinking it’s “forever”.
You may perhaps argue and claim that, “No, things will never be worth the price paid”. But, I will say to you my friend, that you have said many such things in the past. We shall see, we shall see.
I am humbled by your gains and so are a lot of other folks. You deserve this reward Bob, you really do.
"You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows," Bob Dylan
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MrG.
I just know that right now, amidst a raft of imperfect possible outcomes from our experiences, Squid and I are happier than we thought we would ever be again. No more, no less than that.
It is fallacious to speak of whether an outcome was worth an unchangeable and unavoidable past event IMO. It is moot - options requiring that event to have NOT occurred need to be struck from the list.
Am I happy considering the unchangeable circumstances? Yes.
I hope you are too mate.
MB Alumni
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I sure am Bob, I sure am! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
"You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows," Bob Dylan
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Bob, I haven't posted here for a long time, but I'm always lurking. I've kept up on your story, as your story mirrors mine (without the wonderful std's)!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> What a wonderful weekend and I hope you continue to share your journey as you inspire hope to all of us.
"Never take away anyone's hope, it may be all they have."
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Thanks everyone <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> FWIW even normality is different now. Better. More sure than for ages. I hope we continue to build on this.
MB Alumni
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