|
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,466
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,466 |
Bob, tears in my eyes, tears in my eyes. I hope you were always a true English gentlemen <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> m2L
M2L
ME BH 36 - FWW 33
2 kids
DDAY May 06
Sometimes waywards can be like Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 699
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 699 |
Bob,
Thank you for sharing your awesome weekend with us. Thank you for giving others hope.
It is truly great to read this this morning.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,435
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,435 |
Congratulations Bob !
What a wonderful idea to make it a special weekend for just the two of you.
I'm so glad you're starting to heal.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,416
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,416 |
what a nice thread to read!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Bob, i couldn't be happier for you both.
God Bless!!!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 444
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 444 |
Congratulations Bob! I am happy to see how well you have healed. And your M as well. You deserve it !
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 9,015
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 9,015 |
A lot of what we said and did are far too intimate to recount. Just know that we know how we feel about each other now. I realised that I have felt appreciated by Squid because of my efforts in recovery , but possibly not loved FOR MYSELF. I learned that Squid truly loves me for myself.
I do not write this as a travelogue: I wrote it to show readers how far Squid and I have come from a very unpleasant affair. I was broken: suicidal, Squid's entitlement and vindictiveness knew no bounds.
Yet I doubt there has ever been a happier couple as we were last weekend, and it did not end when we returned home. W were not temporarily deludedly happy for teh sak of our anniversary: our weekend was a maninfestation of how far we have come.
YES we both still hurt sometimes, but I can say, at last, that we are now reunited as man and wife. No man has torn us asunder. we have some way to go to be fully healed, but we ar ehappier than we ever thought we could be again. Congratulations on the 20th, Bob! It sounds as though He has been answering your prayers and meeting both of your needs to bring you closer than ever before. God bless!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 15
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 15 |
Congratulations Bob! Your post brought tears to my eyes just as it gave me hope.
All the best to you and the next 20 more years -- at the least.
God bless you both.
soph
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344 |
Funny ol Silverback!
You tole me on my thread you wanted to be jeeest like me when you grew up....
humph!....and I want to be jeeest like you when I do (sans the body hair, of course)!
Tell Squiddy that you and your progeny are welcome in mi casa ANY TIME!
All my love to my lighthouses,
Kimmy
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 2,885
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 2,885 |
Hey Bob, I think this is 'as good as it gets'! Many congratulations.
WH and I had a wonderful childless time in Spain 5 yrs ago now. It was so good we bought a house there (or should I say moneypit, but that's another story!)
Really happy for you both. TT
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 739
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 739 |
Just perfect! Your story was one of my inspirations, and choose to model my actions and philosophies after yours.....and it paid off!!!
God bless!
MWIL
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 10,107
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 10,107 |
MWIL I am humbled. And delighted ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
MB Alumni
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,916
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,916 |
Bob: I learned that Squid truly loves me for myself. Been waiting for that one, you have, you have. All the best sir and I am glad for you :-) That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger - I'd say you are one strong bloke. All the best to you and Squid.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 2,033
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 2,033 |
Mr. Pure,
Just wanted to chime in with the rest and say congrats!!
Couldn't have happened to a nicer feller!
Got a little misty myself there.
kirk
CORDUROY PILLOWS ARE MAKING HEADLINES!!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 981
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 981 |
I couldn't be happier for you, BobPure.
What a wonderful ending to a story so full of pain and dispair.
Blessings to both you and Squid,
Your friend always,
k.d's heartbreak
In the end, I have nothing to lose but everything to gain, by trying to save my marriage.
Me, betrayed wife 46
Former Wandering Husband, 51 E/A 2005
28 years of marriage
DD 26, DS 24
O/W aka, Rat 29, A-D Assisted Living
Discovery 8-20-05 Recovery ongoing.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 31
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 31 |
Bobpure
We just spent a lovely time in central Australia on the week of our 20th anniversary. Only 2 months after discovery of FWS's affairs.
Things are working well. Copybook MB's I would say. We both are still having big ups and downs but now many more ups than downs. We are having great fun together and are spending the time together that we need to bond more.
Congratulations.
BS female 43 years old
FWS 47 years old
Married 1986
Two boys - 18 and 15
Affairs discovered 23rd July 2006
(4 mth A was 2 years into marriage
recent 2 year + A)
FWS 100% NC
Marriage Builders works
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,245
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,245 |
Bob,
Hmmmm, I must say, that I am not surprised. The logical conclusion of your investment into recovery has been obvious for some time.
Next up? One day you and Squid will view this ordeal as a positive to your life together. What I am suggesting is that one day the positives will have outweighed the negatives. The joys that you each feel has occurred because of the new appreciation you have gained for each other. I might suggest that you understand how fragile love can be. It is more fragile and valuable then ever thought. This newfound knowledge will cause you and your wife to protect each other with a long lasting focus.
It may be a bit sad and unfortunate to suggest but the new closeness that you and your wife feel for each other was made possible because you both stood at the edge of the abyss. It was dark, cold and lonely and it touched your cheek like the sharp blade of a cold sickle. I can’t help but believe that that knowledge will fuel your love for each other for the rest of your days. The “fix” is in and I’m thinking it’s “forever”.
You may perhaps argue and claim that, “No, things will never be worth the price paid”. But, I will say to you my friend, that you have said many such things in the past. We shall see, we shall see.
I am humbled by your gains and so are a lot of other folks. You deserve this reward Bob, you really do.
"You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows," Bob Dylan
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 10,107
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 10,107 |
MrG.
I just know that right now, amidst a raft of imperfect possible outcomes from our experiences, Squid and I are happier than we thought we would ever be again. No more, no less than that.
It is fallacious to speak of whether an outcome was worth an unchangeable and unavoidable past event IMO. It is moot - options requiring that event to have NOT occurred need to be struck from the list.
Am I happy considering the unchangeable circumstances? Yes.
I hope you are too mate.
MB Alumni
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,245
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,245 |
I sure am Bob, I sure am! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
"You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows," Bob Dylan
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 124
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 124 |
Bob, I haven't posted here for a long time, but I'm always lurking. I've kept up on your story, as your story mirrors mine (without the wonderful std's)!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> What a wonderful weekend and I hope you continue to share your journey as you inspire hope to all of us.
"Never take away anyone's hope, it may be all they have."
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 10,107
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 10,107 |
Thanks everyone <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> FWIW even normality is different now. Better. More sure than for ages. I hope we continue to build on this.
MB Alumni
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
302
guests, and
44
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,621
Posts2,323,490
Members71,959
| |
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
|
|
|
|
