Oh Boy, maybe I spoke to soon. I just viewed an email and she just registered on the website "MySpace" I did pull it up on the computer and it looked like a dating site.

This is a singles website correct?

She registered under a false name, but city and state were correct. There is not a picture of her in there.

Here I was thinking everything was going well, I am just stupid I guess...

My Space is not necessarily a singles web site, but more of a place where you can create your own "web space". You can be anyone you want to be here. This space is yours to do what you want, add pictures, share stories, write poetry, talk to friends you know, and yes possibly friends you don't know.....Do you see where I am going with this?

The key here is to be very quiet and patient. You can learn a lot by just watching.

Best wishes

MB

Myspace is not necessarily a singles site, but it is widely seen as a 'hookup' site. That said, her having a myspace page doesn't necessarily mean that's what she's looking for. I never use my real name on line either if I can help it. I think you have to have a myspace page in order to view one. I've got one; it doesn't mean I'm "looking".

It could be completely innocent or it could be more. Does she have any myspace friends? Do any of them look familiar? When did she put up the page, when was her last activity, what email is it connected to? Dig and learn, but keep it low profile.

Thanks for responding MyBad and bitb,

She just created it yesterday.

I did notice the last activity was today, I think it changed the date when I accessed it. I am afraid if I keep going in there she may notice the date change.

There is only one myspace friend and it appears to be the guy that approved her profile.

It is connected to a not so busy email she had created. I dont know exactly when she created that email address, but I think it was recently.

I poked around there a little, as far as I could tell there were no new emails or any sent out.

I will be watching....

The wife discovered I have have been into her email account. She only noticed one that I am aware of right now, but she will for sure notice the others(six accounts). She even read off all of the emails that were viewed. I didnt reveal the keylogger as my source, I told her that I hacked my way in there. I did not want to lie as she pretty much already knew, so, I admitted to it. I told her I was just curious.

She feels betrayed, hurt, upset and very mad.

Things got pretty ugly last night...Major LB...

Isn't she a little ashamed that you were put in this postion in the first place? You are the one who was betrayed, TU, that is WHY you did this in the first place. Lets not get confused about this.

It is not a "betrayal" to snoop on an untrustworthy spouse. NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO THE PRIVACY TO DESTROY YOU BEHIND YOUR BACK.

This should be a clear message to her that she has a much to do to rebuild the trust in her marriage. You should not have to ever hack into your own wife's email account to be assured she is being faithful, you should have OPEN ACCESS to those accounts.

What will she do to REBUILD the trust she destroyed?
Will she now give you open access to all her accounts in order to rebuild the trust she destroyed?

Quote: "she feels betrayed, upset, mad..."

Well I tell you this...It I had a myspace, IM, email, or other account that I minded my husband/wife seeing then there is probably a good reason for it. If there is nothing to hide then I would ask them to join me in discussions, etc. Normally when someone gets mad at someone looking over their shoulder its because "someone NEEDS to be looking over their shoulder", as they are doing things they shouldn't be doing. If she has nothing to hide then tell her you would like to do these things together as a couple and converse with others and such and see what her reaction is....I bet it is not well receieved.

This is a lie, isn't it? You weren't merely "curious." YOU DON'T TRUST HER. And rightfully so. You need to tell her this, TU. She destroyed the trust in your marriage and must EARN it back. Until that happens, you will do what it takes to PROTECT YOURSELF. She should WANT to open up all her email accounts to you to prove her trustworthiness.

Snooping is NOT a lovebuster. It is only annoying to those who have something to hide!

When you read those emails you have to go back and mark them as UNREAD!

BINGO!

From now on make sure you go back and flag all of the new emails you've viewed as "unread"...I can almost garauntee that's how you were "caught".

FWW here to tell you, increased computer use is a big red flag, don't ignore it...especially if she is upset with you for wanting to know what she is doing on there!...that was so me for sure. Something is definitely up. Do whatever you have to do to find out what it is, you can download a keylogger, there are some spyware programs that can be embedded in an email you send to her, lots of options, people here can give you lots of ideas in that regard. Buy a VISA check card with cash to use to purchase what you need. She's at prime age for the mid life crazies (like me) and has a fair amount of free time. My H never thought I would do something like that either, you just don't know what people are capable of. The only way you can repair your marriage is to know what's going on for sure.

Good Luck

Here's what I would do when I found e-mails...

I would read and forward them to my e-mail address. I would then go and delete all the "sent" e-mails to my address, I would then delete them from the deleted files!! I would also make sure I marked as unread any e-mails she had not read....I also was very careful to read all for HER sent e-mails and the files she deleted....

Look....there is NO PRIVACY necessary in a marriage....at one point when I got the "you'll never trust me...or what do I have to do to have you stop looking?" I told her that right now it is a matter of my insecurity brought on by your past actions....

There really is not reason for a person to have multiple e-mail accounts....on for personal business and one to purchase stuff on the internet...thats it!! Her reaction is typical of someone with something to hide....

Good luck with this and your quest for the truth...

Quote:Isn't she a little ashamed that you were put in this postion in the first place? You are the one who was betrayed, TU, that is WHY you did this in the first place. Lets not get confused about this.

Mel, I have no proof of ANYTHING right now.

Quote:Will she now give you open access to all her accounts in order to rebuild the trust she destroyed?

She did offer to let me read whatever I wanted in her accounts. I told her I did not want to. She has gone in and changed all her passwords since then. But thats ok, I have the new ones already.

Quote:From now on make sure you go back and flag all of the new emails you've viewed as "unread"...I can almost garauntee that's how you were "caught".

I did not even know this option was there. When I read MY emails, they normally just get deleted. I wish that I knew how to do that before. It would have saved me alot of grief.

Quote:There really is not reason for a person to have multiple e-mail accounts....on for personal business and one to purchase stuff on the internet...thats it!! Her reaction is typical of someone with something to hide....

She has six email address's that I am aware of right now. I do not understand why!

She wouldnt even talk to me last night, She is feeling betrayed and she is VERY angry with me. I'll give her a few days to cool off.

Thank you all for your responses.
Tu2

Well, that tells me she is hiding something for sure. So just lay low and don't get caught again! Gather your evidence and then come tell us what you find.

And remember this, TU, people who have nothing to hide, DON'T HIDE. Your W has no right to keep things secret from you and you did NOTHING WRONG in getting into her emails. She was not "betrayed" she is simply trying to BULLY and SCARE you into not snooping on her anymore. You did nothing wrong!

Quote:Well, that tells me she is hiding something for sure. So just lay low and don't get caught again! Gather your evidence and then come tell us what you find.

Mel, Im not sure if she is relly hiding something or not. I have been watching for close to a month now. I havent seen anything out of bounds yet except, the "myspace" account.

However, one of her email accounts recieved a message stating she has a message on her "myspace" account. I do have access, but am afraid to go in there because she has not logged in there since she created it on 11/24/06. I created my own account to watch hers without logging in her account. I am concerned that if I read the message it will show it as having been "viewed". But on the other hand if I dont read it she could end up responding and deleting all of the messages. She created this account while at school.
Any advice on this one would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks in advance!

Tu2

If she has not logged in there, then she is not checking the messages. I have a stupid myspace account and I get message notifications all the time. They are from trolls, advertisers and weirdos. If the content of her page isn't bothering you, I wouldn't worry about that. Just keep your eyes peeled on her email.

Mel,
The contents of her page states a false name,single, no photo and nothing written about herself or what she is looking for there. I am very curious about the message!