I want to thank everyone for their responses! WOW!

When I spoke to my attorney yesterday, it left me with the feeling of defeat. I just really needed support of my decision to work on getting my H and my marriage back.

I told her about emailing all of our band friends to expose the A. She didn't like the method and felt that I was doing more harm than good (to my case). H has threatened to press harassment charges against me, because I called his (1) friend(twice) and mother (twice), inquiring about him (is he ok)(during my panics).

I will continue with MB and my Plan B stage and wait to see if I can Plan A again.

NotKZ:

I have taken much of what I have learned from this site and have adapted it to use with my clients and even friends. Your attorney doesn't know squat.

I do not know the rest of your situation, do you have a link?

But this needs to be addressed: "emailing all of our band friends to expose the A." because it is one method to end an A.

And this: "threatened to press harassment charges" let him do it. You go to the judge and explain what you have done and no orders willed be issued, unless you really take it to far...

It is so cold in the Midwest this morning, all the attorneys are standing around downtown with their hands in their OWN pockets!

PC disclaimer:

(For humorous content only, with advance apologies to the respectable attorneys who are a necessary and appreciated part of the forums)

SD

(Edited to add: We are just over 2.5 years into recovery, and without MB and Harley's books, I would be a divorced man. MB made all the difference!!!

Kimmie, do Plan A first THEN do Plan B. It must be in that order. Read up on the plans!

I'm not an attorney, nor do I play one on TV, but I really don't see how reporting a fact, such as your spouse is in a relationship that you believe is damaging to your marriage to your spouses family, friends, employer and alumni association, the OP's spouse, family, employer, friends, etc.

(Did I send OM's alumni association details of his affair with my ex-wife, oops <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> )

I got many letters from my ex-wife's attorneys about things called harrassment that my lawyer assured me were nothing of the kind.

Rule number one, you can't believe what comes from the mouth (or often the attorney) of an infidel.

Has your attorney been a member of this board or read on this board for 6.5 years?

If the answer is "no" then there is no way she would know, unlike myself and hundreds if not thousands of others, who do know based upon thousands and thousands of stories.

She, your attroney, is very misinformed and is passing on bad information.

Lgolfer,

love the name...lol. I'm posted under GQII, advice please.

Thank you for the info. someone told me that H can't file harassment charges when I'm sending the emails to our friends. Our friends haven't told me not to contact them, so threrfore there is no harassment.

My Attorney just wants to keep me out of trouble, just in case he does file, because it could cause more $$ and pain.

Melody Lane,

I have read up on the plans. I was forced into Plan B, he doesn't want any contact. If contact resumes, then I'll proceed with Plan A.

Apparently I'm making waves, so he stopped all communication, he actually requested it. It's only been a week. The last time when I didn't respond to his emails it only took 10 days for him to call and give me him phone number (he wouldn't give it to me before). So I'm waiting patiently.

Any suggestions are welcome...

Kimmie, the plans refer to YOUR ACTIONS, not his. He is not in Plan B and neither are you. Just stick with Plan A for now. But more importantly, do some reading so that you understand the plans.

I have run across Christian Attorneys here in MN that in their list of areas of expertise, it actually listed reconciliation. I spoke with them, and they spoke of actually using Biblically Based principles to avert the tragedy of divorce. One in Woodbury even mentioned His Needs, Her Needs as a good starting point.

Now, maybe this was just an anomaly, but this one in particular I spoke to told me that he spends more time 'mentoring' troubled marriages than sitting in court. I asked him why he didn't go into full-time counseling, and he said his primary occupation was law, but his conscience and faith led him to try and help before it goes to court. Boy, this world could use more like him. He just wants his clients to exercise every avenue before making the biggest and possibly worst decision of their lives.

Alas, Stacy hasn't willingly spoken with him or anyone else of that nature, and isn't 'there' yet.

I think to my self when I hear of the 'no-fault' divorce travesty "if only..."