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i meant do NOT pester,beg, or plead w/ him...whoops....
God Bless
A
"If God brings you to it, He will get you through it."
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I THINK YOO'VE GOT IT!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
And remember that he will make every effort to get you off track...
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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ok, praise the Lord, I think I've got it...So no matter what he says (whether he is in or out), just keep being nice, loving, let him know i want the marriage to work, that i love him, but don't pester, beg, plead, or do LB's....don't be needy desperate, keep up w/ me, work on me, do RB's, make him feel safe to come home, try to meet emotional needs (even though that may be impossible since he is 7000 miles away) but at least try..mimi/orchid/believere, is there anything that I am missing here??? Anything of major importance?
God Bless
A
"If God brings you to it, He will get you through it."
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You've got it!!
Try to slip in soon somehow how you are working on your spending habits and how much you APPPRECIATE his HELP by going over to IRAQ
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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ok, thank you mimi...you are soooooooo freakin awesome...there is no way that i would have understood all of this or gotten to this point w/o you....you are a true Godsend to me....thank you thank you thank you thank you......
God Bless
A
"If God brings you to it, He will get you through it."
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Ok, now what if I want sex? ANd he does too? yikes????
God Bless
A
"If God brings you to it, He will get you through it."
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Of course you want sex..after all this time... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
When is he coming..no pun intended...to the States, that is??
Stop worrying for right now.
Remember what we decided? All that you can do TODAY is to PRAY and to put this into God's hands.
What can you do to redirect your mind today?
Any cleaning or decorating around your house?
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Post deleted by LoveGod
Last edited by LoveGod; 12/02/06 12:38 PM.
God Bless
A
"If God brings you to it, He will get you through it."
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i'm on my way out the door...
I didn't read what you wrote...
But, without reading it, I know it's MUCH, MUCH TOO LONG...
I say send him only brief one to two sentence communcations...
I love you...
Can't wait to see you...
I've been rethinking my spending habits...
I really appreciate you...
Etc...
Yes, ANYTHING more is pleading...
BEEN THERE, DONE THAT...
I wrote long letters to my then active WH and he shredded them write in my face..YUCK...
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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ok, i will shorten it...thank you...
God Bless
A
"If God brings you to it, He will get you through it."
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Hey...I am having a bad day...my co-workers have not been very forgiving of my "spaciness" and me being "tense". They just don't understand what I am going through. How do I make them understand and cut me some slack? Man, I feel so isolated and alone.
God Bless
A
"If God brings you to it, He will get you through it."
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The first step is to take away your own excuses. (I highly recommend a reading of "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz for seeing that you have a choice of "interpretation" on your wayward's actions and that to take them personally is to intentionally deepen the hurt he has caused you. That really means that he isn't doing it to you anymore... you are... Tough to read, but if you want to heal - own your healing!
So... Don't ask for slack - step up and be your best instead. It's your first step for your own inner healing and strength building!
Cafe Plan B link http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1 The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"? The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!" If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.
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Thanks KA....I am trying very hard not to take it personally b/c I know I did not cause this EA...I just want this hurt and pain to go away....its almost unbearable at times.
God Bless
A
"If God brings you to it, He will get you through it."
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hey Mimi, Orchid...help..I called the clinic overseas last night and they told me that my H had already left for R and R...he's not supposed to leave until the 11th...they told me that he was in Baghdad taking some classes and then he was going to be in Dubai for a couple of days then fly out on the 8th...He has told me and his family he's not coming here until the 11th. I also pulled up his credit report and it shows that he opened up a jewelry account and spent about 1500.00.....I have emailed him but have not gotten a response....Help...I don't know what to do or think...I do remember him telling me back a couple of months ago, that a guy over there asked him to "buy a ring for him for his g/f" and he did it and the guy paid him back for it..I just dont know..I really need to know what to do at this point...Please help guys...I feel like I am so done w/ this...this open wound will not heal and I just want closure...should I give him LSA when he comes home? Or should I get the papers in order and see how our conversation goes and then go from there? I really need to know what to do.....
God Bless
A
"If God brings you to it, He will get you through it."
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((((LOVE)))) As I was suspecting, his plan was to get with her. I just know the ways of a WS...YUCK... I'm proud of you that you have gotten this important INFO for yourself.... There is really nothing that you can DO to STOP THIS... Other than YOUR PLAN A... That still needs to be done if you choose to continue to work on your marriage... He has not pursued this R in the REAL WORLD...it has a low, low likelihood of lasting in the LIGHT OF THE USA, Love... this open wound will not heal and I just want closure.. Why do you say this? This is NO DIFFERENT than what any of us have gone through... My H used to leave each and every weekend and spend it with the OW..coming home on Sunday.... I know how much it hurts and I have felt the PAIN of your WOUND..but I'm very much HEALED.. should I give him LSA when he comes home? Or should I get the papers in order Yes, if you surely want to end your marriage. Otherwise, we have suggested to let him do the DIRTY WORK. see how our conversation goes and then go from there Yep..calmly yet assertively let him know that you are aware of his recent events....when he TRIES to PLAY the GOOD GUY... This is going according to the WS SCRIPT.... We know what he's going to say... We will help you... You've done the best that you can do at this point...ACQUIRING KNOWLEDGE... Now you've got to try to stay CALM AND COLLECTED...IN ORDER TO DO BATTLE....AGAINST THE AFFAIR....
Last edited by mimi1254; 12/04/06 01:04 PM.
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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OK...thanks Mimi...I will let you know what happens...I did call the only 2 hotels in Dubai that contract workers can stay and checked to see if he was there and there was no record of him so he may be in Baghdad, like he said...i dunno...
God Bless
A
"If God brings you to it, He will get you through it."
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Mimi, how in the world did you heal from all of this? I feel like this pain is never going to go away...I hurt so much.... And how long did this go on w/ him going back/forth to be w/ her on the weekends? How did you handle that????
God Bless
A
"If God brings you to it, He will get you through it."
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OK...thanks Mimi...I will let you know what happens...I did call the only 2 hotels in Dubai that contract workers can stay and checked to see if he was there and there was no record of him so he may be in Baghdad, like he said...i dunno... Forget the hotels, go call in and say someone has taken your account and charged unathorized jewelry. L.
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Orchid, got info on the jewelry stuff...nothing for me to be alarmed about...too long of a story to get into...but i did check hotels and he is not there...i did get verification that he was, in fact, in Baghdad, in 2 continuing education classes....so now i guess i just wait...but i did wanna ask, why try and have a sit-down serious conversation w/ my WH if he is only going to try and lie and cover stuff up? Isnt that just a futile attempt?
God Bless
A
"If God brings you to it, He will get you through it."
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...but i did wanna ask, why try and have a sit-down serious conversation w/ my WH if he is only going to try and lie and cover stuff up? Isnt that just a futile attempt? The point is for you to say to him what YOU want him to HEAR...not to do anything to CHANGE HIM....
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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