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Joined: Nov 2006
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in_pain Offline OP
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I need help. My situation feels so hopeless. I can't live without my husband and this pain is too much for me. I feel like I've lost him to the OW.


BS (Me) - 31 WH - 31 DS - 2 in January Found Out About Affair - 10/6/06 Married - 10/10/98 Been Together Since - 10/27/90 H won't have NC with OW
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You must stop this - if you really feel like life is not orth living -call the suicide hotline now.

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1-800-273-8255

1-800-784-2433

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Did you call that number, inpain?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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In_pain,

It's been a long time since I've posted here...in fact, I was in the same place you are when I did. I will tell you that I had only a sliver of hope that I would survive the ordeal..how could I go on? I felt I couldn't exist without my WW. I had to take it one minute at a time. Soon the minutes became hours and the hours days.

What has to take place is for you to focus on YOU!! You can't change anyone else. The way you deal with your pain is of utmost importance from this point on.

Are you in counseling??


Me, the BS, 32 WW, 34 Married 12Y D-Day - 5/18/05 D16,S15,D11
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in_pain....****************... People are sinful and will ALWAYS disappoint you.

Basically you are saying your H is the winner here.....that he controls your life. Did he create you??? NO! I thought god did that.

Stop giving all the power to another human being......get yourself together and realize your H is just another sinful human.

PS......I dont feel too sorry for those who talk about ending their lives over another person.

Like the above poster stated, call the help hotline now.

Personally I would never let anyone have that much influence over me. Husband/wife or not.

Last edited by Justuss; 11/26/06 01:45 PM.
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Come on startinover...have a little patience...its obvious that you are in a different place than in pain is in and you are a lot stronger than she is...but be supportive...thats what she needs right now..she needs that more than anything in this world...to not feel alone, and to know that we are out here and will support her....


God Bless A "If God brings you to it, He will get you through it."
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At one point in time when my wife was cake eating, I became so despondent that I called the line you have been given. The person who answered the call was right for me. Not all of them are - you may have to call several times to find someone you can relate with and who can relate with you.

That call saved my life, saved my relationship with my wife and saved my kids and family. That call gave me the strength to go on and not only that, but to go on and Do The Right Thing.

Please call.

Larry

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Please call the number or go to the emergency room. Bring someone to watch your son. I promise you that things WILL get better, and you WILL be happy again.

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InPain

I was two feet away from deliberately killing myself in my sports car a month after d-day.

I was disappointed to walk away from the wreck at the time.

Now my life is WONDERFUL. All my own work too.

Suicide is a permanet solution to a temporary problem. As terrible though it is, your pain is temporary.

Phone that number. See your doctor for a-d's. Then come back here and we'll show you how to kick the affair's @ss.

All blessings.


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In_Pain. Please think of your son. THis is the worst time that you can go through. But your son needs you. Please do not leave him alone. I promise, it does get better. I was in the same place you were. ANd MB kept me afloat. Just to get trhough the day was an major struggle. BUT, I kept thinking of my kids. ANd then the IDEA of my DD being FORCED to live with WH and his OW just made me realize that NO WAY would that be good for her.

PLEASE call the the hotline or vent here. WE will all help. We have been there.

My prayers are for you and your DS.


BS-58/XH48
D final Dec31/07
Long hard road & at peace now
Unrepentant serial cheater living with DP4 for 4yrs
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Quote:

Come on startinover...have a little patience...its obvious that you are in a different place than in pain is in and you are a lot stronger than she is...but be supportive...thats what she needs right now..she needs that more than anything in this world...to not feel alone, and to know that we are out here and will support her....




I did say to get help.......

This woman needs to know that her H is just a person, nothing more or less. How can someone want to end their life over another person?

Pray, pray, pray, read scriptures on suicide and pray some more.

HE ISNT WORTH IT PERIOD!

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think about your son. Do you want him raised by the woman who is trying to steal your family?

Come on, In Pain- let me know how you're doing.

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IP,

How are you feeling now? Any relief?

Jo

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in_pain,

I urge you to call
1-800-SUICIDE

Talk to someone,,,get help now!


JustUss

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LG I would suggest taking your personal phone# off of here. You have a lot of personal information. For your safety, it's probably better not to include your numbers.

In_pain

You can and will make it through all of this. Please call the suicide hotline.


*poster formerly known as neverenough.
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in pain

I've been in your dark place-and it even seemed to get darker. Yet, the light of my children has made this journey not only bearable-but truly miraculous.

There are so many things worth hanging onto-even with chemo, separation, etc. My DS 18 told me that he was walking around the local mall near his college (over 300 miles away) in his ROTC uniform and a woman came up and hugged him. Just because he was in uniform.

DS 14-who has never been a hugger-puts his arms around me daily. He told me I was amazing when I felt my worst.

DD21 and her wonderful husband chose to live a mile away to help me if I need them. I suspect they need me too.

DD24 has take 2 months leave to be home with me.

My parents and siblings brought Thanksgiving to my house under orders that I do "nothing."

I know these are random things-but they are the light that shines into each dark day, making it brighter all the time.

Please remember that you are dearly loved-by many. And your child will need you even more than ever now.

Praying for you-


johnstwin-

"I may not know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future." -Martin Luther

Remarried my FXH 25 years to the day of our first M. God is so good-and sometimes so unexpected!

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IP,

Since you do not seem to be responding, we can't tell if you got help or still need help. I am going to post my personal cell # but am on my way to work. NO matters, you can still call. I will remove it this evening.

Here it is: 808-230-3853. You are calling Hawaii so it is still in the morning here and I gotta go get some Starbucks.

Hugz,
L.

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in_pain Offline OP
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I just want to thank everyone who responded. It makes me not feel so alone. Thank you all for being here for me. I'm going to need you in the upcoming months; I'm sure of it!!

I am still not doing very well. I am already on anti-depressants. Wow, I don't know what kind of state I would be in without them. I see my counselor again on Tuesday. Nothing seems to be helping me. I'm so tired of hurting and feeling depressed. I want to know what it feels like to be happy again. I don't remember that feeling.


BS (Me) - 31 WH - 31 DS - 2 in January Found Out About Affair - 10/6/06 Married - 10/10/98 Been Together Since - 10/27/90 H won't have NC with OW
Joined: Jan 2001
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Quote:

I'm so tired of hurting and feeling depressed.




Orchid: We understand. Many of us have been there and survived. We can share with you what we have learned and hopefully you won't have to go through it as badly as we have.

Quote:

I want to know what it feels like to be happy again. I don't remember that feeling.




Orchid: U deserve t/b happy again. U will be.

Hugz,
L.

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