WOW E, it sounds so great! Good luck to you and the kids!

I'm wishing YOU well.

LOL...I would love to be treated like that...would you like to be one of the people that takes applications for me in the future? LMAO <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

LOL

If/When D happens for me, you would have to take an application for me and moving here is a prerequisite <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Seriously, the fact that we are all improving ourselves bodes well for us in the future, no matter what happens.

I need to catch up on your thread - hope your Easter went well.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

I agree with you! I'm loving myself more and more these days! It's great and I decided today to start eating healthier! Why today? Just seemed like a good one! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Oh, man. I forgot one detail from Sunday. I noticed WW was wearing some weird looking ring on her ring finger where her wedding rings OUGHT to be.

OK today was quite interesting. When I went to pick up the kids, they wanted me to come in and see what the easter bunny brought them - and WW said it was OK to come in the house (remember her request from earlier about staying on the porch). So I was there for about 30 mins and even got to see the new bird "Prissy" (more like her stool pigeon <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> ) LOL

A part of me wants to think that my plan A is having an effect, but there is a part of me that also thinks this might be a ploy for her to catch me with my guard down or to make her look better by being more friendly, or maybe even both. I guess I am ever the optimist and want to see the good before the bad, but I can tell that some walls that had been in place are no longer there.

I am anxious to discuss whether she will talk to SH. I feel like I am putting all my eggs into his basket, but I guess since he is an expert that is a good basket to be using.

Had a great day today and tomorrow will be better!

Please be in prayer for me regarding the upcoming in-home visit with the GAL on 4/21 and the mediation session on 4/27.

Catch you on the flip side <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Eph,

Please understand that it doesnt matter what she thinks or what her agenda is. By doing a good Plan A, you will deposit love units no matter what she is thinking. She may not even know that it is happening...until one day she wakes up and goes "Wow, I am feeling like I want to call Eph...be around him. I wonder why?"

She still has no clue. You do. You have a plan, and the master of the plan (Steve H) beside you.

Wow, that time is closing in on us and to be honest, I can't wait...

I have been counting the days down...18 to court...that means you have even less for your visit...11, WOW!

I have faith that you will do just fine...regardless I'm still praying for you.

God, please stand by my friend in his time of need, to protect and watch over him and his kids, we pray that your will is so allow the kids to stay in comfort of their home with E...in jesus' name, Amen!

Okay, that's the best that I could do this morning....LOL...I woke up late and I haven't had my coffee yet...but I'm here at work!

I finished up Divorce Care last night - wow 13 weeks flew by.

I have this urge to ask WW these questions:

What's it going to take for you to to do what is right and come home? Why are we spending all this time and money to separate when we could be building a new M? Everything we have built and dreamed about, my life, your life, and the kids lives are being destroyed by your actions. What is the purpose in this?


I've been quiet a few days and just need to vent a little.

I'm gonna be in the area where OM lives Saturday and I have this incredible urge to confront him. I'll have my recorder with me to make sure I watch myself.

I really don't think I can be talked out of it, but you can try if you think it's a bad idea.

Thoughts?

I'm not dead set against it. I believe the best case scenario is that OM will eventually dump your WW before it's too late. He has been pinning for your wife since before you married her. He was second best then and HE IS SECOND BEST NOW. By taking her today...he destroys her. She will NEVER again be the woman he pursued so many years ago. The fantasy will NEVER become the reality. If he cares at all for her he will let her go home to her family.

Your confrontation will likely fall on deaf ears...TODAY. However, weeks, months from now...when they are LB'ing each other and HE believe he is unhappy and realizes she is unhappy also...he will do as most cockroaches do...scatter. IF you challenge his honor ... he may just use such supposed honor (which we know he has none) as his justification for dumping your wife.

Physical threats and actually punching him make him a victim and only feed/romanticize the affair. However, all OM's are scared to death of BH's so an implied threat (i.e.- you'll get yours some day when you least expect it) sometimes works to keep them fearful of you. Thus, when the going gets tough they throw in the towel listing the fear of BH as one of the many things that just make the whole thing NOT worth it anymore.

Be careful. Others that actually confronted OM's may assist better with their stories. I'm certain many will suggest having a witness...which alone would prevent HIM from attacking you and claiming self-defense (he may even be carrying a weapon...OM's are that paranoid).

Be confident...not matter what happens, you will make it and you will always be God's perfect choice for your WW. OM pales in comparison. YOU should have NO DOUBT about your proper, rightful place in her life. OM is an interloper, a demon, a lowlife cockroach. You have every right as a Christian to judge his actions (though invoking God talk will likely have little effect as OM doesn't apparently know God...instead go after the insecurities satan has filled up his foresaken body with).

Good luck,
Mr. Wondering

I doubt Dr. Harley would recommend such strategy.

Call him and get his opinion or call in to his radio show...they may like to address this subject on the air.

I'd like to know his thoughts on it myself.

Mr. Wondering

The witness is a good idea.

I don't want to do anything physical just want to ask him this question:

What have been/are your intentions with my W?

He may lie but I'll have it recorded.

I dunno, it just feels like he is getting away with everything right now with no consequences. I want him to experience the emotional pain and turmoil that I have been through. Revenge I guess.

Maybe calling Dr. H tomorrow would be a good idea.

Please don't stoop to that level. You know that he has no honor and no respect for anything. It is a waste of time.

I agree w/ Believer.

You are FAR above him.

~ Marsh

Have you ever exposed to OM's parents and/or family?

soon - trying to get a phone number myself without using the PI again.

OK, I think I have OM's parents phone number and mailing address. Exposure forthcoming.

Good,

Make sure to include everything from the past ten years. That incident at your rehearsal dinner should be a doozie. You need to brace yourself, the wrath of h*ll (WW) is about to descend upon you. She's going to want to make your sorry you ever exposed.

Eph!

Congratulations!!! On completing DV care! Wonderful program!!! The wks do go by so quickly. I found when the pressures were mounting even after my dv& my exh choosing to act out even more outrageously horrid & disrupting my life.

My personal stress reduction plan for me, was to attend DV care for a second time around. Glad I did, as I gained more insight from the review, peace, a much-needed reprieve & met an equally pleasant group of people.

I would highly suggest if there is another DV care program going on in your area, you may want to consider re-visiting.

Benefits; alleviates, a great deal of pressure, lowers the agitation levels considerably, keeps your focus stronger. The long walks home afterwards really helped me to work out my frustrations & clear my head.

Well I did a drive-by on OM's house but did not stop. It's a crappy dump of a place. Oddly, it has a lot of no trespassing signs all over it. Really weird. I parked in front of it for a few minutes and then drove off.

WW called about needing clothes for the kids for church tomorrow, then proceeded to tell me how DD3 had the sniffles. I asked if I could pick up DS6 if she did not go to church and she said no. I said I would bring the clothes over later as I was driving home from Clemson from watching the spring football game (btw, GO TIGERS) and we hung up.

I called her right back and said I did not understand why I could not take DS6 to church. She said that they would just hang out and do stuff there. I just repeats that I did not understand why he could not go, and we hung up again.

She called me back again shortly and said that DS6 was acting sick and if I did not want to bring the clothes I did not have to. I said I would bring them over just in case and it would give me a reason to see her. She replied "I don't know....." and I said I would use any excuse to see her.

Well when I took the clothes over neither of the kids seemed tired, but I could tell that DD3 was sniffly. DS6 did not seem to feel bad at all. I gave WW the church clothes and also gave all three of them a t-shirt I picked up while at the game.

So I am planning to call OM's parents tomorrow after I sort our what I want to say. I am going to start a separate thread for that with an appropriate title so some of the exposure experts might jump in.

Yeah Jim, I know that there is a strong possibility I will be hit with the poisonous venom of WW. I am also prepared for her to say nothing at all - either because MAYBE there is NC between them (doubtful) or perhaps she won't make an issue of it immediately, rather waiting to bring it up in mediation as a way of making me look bad, vengeful, etc.

Skylites - good idea on attending a second time because I need to work through some of the things we discussed. Also, my church does Boundaries In Marriage by Cloud and Townsend as a follow up to DC and that will be in the fall. There will probably be some of the same people in it, and the teachers who did DC will be teaching it (because they normally do Boundaries rather than DC anyway).

The Cloud and Townsend Boundaries is excellent. I did it twice in church. I hope you sign up for it, as it is very helpful.