|
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 52
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 52 |
Guys I just want to believe that there is hope for this marriage that in spite of what it looks like it can change? I really want to know how I can Plan A when I feel like he has put me in plan B.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 52
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 52 |
Orchid,
I am so glad to hear from you I have heard so much about you mimi and believer.
I do not understand words of ws or real spouce can you help me understand
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
The spouse is the guy you married. The wayward spouse is the guy he is now. Don't expect ANYTHING from him. Have you ever known anyone addicted to heroin? If so, that is how your husband may act. His drug is the other woman.
So do up yourself, your home, get out with friends and don't focus on what he is doing, or it will drive you crazy. All of this affair stuff is extremely hard on your self esteem. Work on doing things that will raise it.
I cleaned the house spotless, rearranged everything, organized, painted, made a garden, a pond, detailed my car, cleaned up the yard, joined a support group, did volunteer work, went out with friends, etc. It gave me something to think about besides "them".
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,222
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,222 |
Exposure to their employer would be your strongest weapon for ending this affair. Read up on exposure, and make your WH face the poor decisions he has made. Up to now, he has somewhat swept them under the rug. The more eyes that are looking down at him, the more pressure he will feel to end the affair.
Jim BS - 32 (me) FWW - 33 Married 8/31/03 No kids (but 3 cats) D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA) NC agreed to - 11/8/06 NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07 Status - In Recovery Jim's Story
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 52
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 52 |
I talked to the management at home depot. Do you think I should talk to someone elese. I am torn on how to handle. They had been talking for a month and had planned to meet for a week. I just want to know that some elese out there believes that there is hope in this. Am I just haging on? Am I wrong to want to save this marriage?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,808
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,808 |
Go above this manager's head.
Find the HR department online and send them an email.
Is your husband her supervisor?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 52
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 52 |
No he is not her supervisor. He is in another department just cloose to were he is at. Have you guys ever seen this situation work out between a hus and wife like us. I wonder if no one is telling there is hope because no one here believes in my situation that there is.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
No he is not her supervisor. He is in another department just cloose to were he is at. Have you guys ever seen this situation work out between a hus and wife like us. I wonder if no one is telling there is hope because no one here believes in my situation that there is. Same story, just different names, places and times. Go to his HR dept. Let them know that at this time, you are concerned about the employee ethics due to the conduct being allowed on the company premsis. L.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,808
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,808 |
there is hope. Lots and lots of us have had affairs in our marriages.
You can't just sit there and feel sorry for yourself and worry.
You need to make YOU the best YOU you can be.
You need to expose to the HR department
Hang in there
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Anika - Affais END. You can count on it. But often the BS has gone through so much, that they don't want the WS back.
Many, many people here with situations much worse than yours have recovered their marriage.
One problem is that many that do recover no longer post here.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 52
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 52 |
Guys am I having false hope here? Truly I really would like to know if anybody believes I should keep trying or just quit. You guys are the veterns and I know you have come through it.
But is it impossible because of our circumstances? Short marriage 2nd marriage affair so soon. If you guys think it is then please let me know because again you guys have been around the block. I asked him if this was an exit affair like he wanted out and just could not tell me. He truly sounded like that was not the case. Do I not call him? I know I am working on me now what elese is there?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Anida - See my previous post.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 52
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 52 |
Believer
Thank you. I am so scared I really never thought I would be here. He knows what it feels like to get his heart ripped out by someone cheating on him. Why would he do this to me? I guess I feel like I am in a fog right now. One moment I think I am going to get past this and there is hope and the next minute I think there is no way this will ever be fixed. I here two messages I here they almost always come back at some point and then I here that alot of times they do not. Whitch is more accurate? Please forgive me I am just trying to figure this who debocal out.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 52
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 52 |
I know there are no gurantees of him coming back I guess I want to be able to predict the future and we know the only one who can do that is God. So with that said I know I need to work on me. I think I have some co dependency issues and it is driving me nuts not to talk to him. I want to call and just say hello how you doing? But I think if I do I will LB because he asked for space. Am I wrong? How do you plan A when he has you in plan b? Any suggestions would be awesome.
Thanks for being here guys just knowing I am not alone makes this situation a little easier
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Anika - Of course you know that no one can predict the future. But I know exactly how you feel. It is completely miserable when you first find out. But I promise you that it will get better.
The statistics are in your favor. Affairs don't last. I have been here a long time, and have seen many miracles. I was searching earlier for the Luke story, but the search function here is not that great.
Luke was a betrayed husband whose wife left and moved in with another man. She wanted nothing to do with Luke. They didn't talk for 6 months. But Luke stayed around here learning the MB stuff. He never left the Divorcing forum.
Anyway they got back together and decided to work on their marriage. His wife thanked him for hanging in there.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,808
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,808 |
I found this page on Home Depot's website- about their values. https://careers.homedepot.com/cg/content.do?p=valuesI would guess they would have a policy about affairs in the work place.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 52
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 52 |
movefoward,
Thank you so much for looking this up for me I am going to do some res. and see if I can drop the bomb harder!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 201
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 201 |
Orchid or Believer, can we bump this up? She is really having a hard time..I talk to her on the phone everyday and she is really in the dumps...She needs the best advice possible to get her on her feet and implementing Plan A...she has started IC and AD....but I think she needs some stuff from the experts...
God Bless
A
"If God brings you to it, He will get you through it."
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
470
guests, and
63
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
