My husban dhas been having an affair since at least August-I have repeatedly had talks with him and he kept saying he was going to stop having contact with her-but of course he kept having contact. This morning he complained of not feeling well and I have been sick so we stayed home from church-I checked his cell phone later in the a.m. and saw he had called her at 8:45. I was furious!! I asked him how he thought things were going with us-he said good. I said how are things going with her? He said he had not had coffee or lunch with her for a while but had kept calling her-which was something I asked him not to do. Then he said he loves me for who I am and that I am the mother of his son and for the history we have but that he feels we are just friends. WHAT??? I thought about it during the day-he took our son to the movie. When they got home I told him we needed to talk-so we drove up the street and talked. I told him again that if he wanted to stay with my and Nicholas he had to make a choice to do so and that would mean no more contact with her. He said that yesterday he went with some friends to a bbq at the Harley dealer ship and there was a girl flirting with him and he wanted to flirt back but didnt so it isnt just Dawn that is the problem. He said he is constantly thinking about being with other girls. I told him again that he needed to make a choice and he chose to continue contact with Dawn so I told him he would have to leave. He packed up all his clothes and told our son-who is devasted-and left. I cant believe this is happening. I guess I was trying plan A for a while without really realizing it and this is now Plan B?? I never told her husband until tonight though. I called him and told him that there had cell phone calls at 6 am and meetings at Starbucks and secret cards and flowers etc. He said he knew none of that and thanked me for the info and said he would look into it-he didnt ask many questions I know she was close by but do you think that means he didnt care or maybe was in shock?

One problem I have is that we work for the same company so I have no choice but to continue to see him. How should I work that? I like my job and dont want to quit. What should my next step be? I love my husband and dont want this to mean divorce.

Please help

R U ready for plan B? It's not about him but about your boundaries being crossed and the need to protect you and your children from the WS.

L.

Do you have any vacation time you can take off from work. You need a couple of days to think!!

Just because your H left the HH (happy home) doesn't mean he wants this to end in court. He might just need time to think about what he is doing. His options.

How old is your son?

I can probably take a couple days off work-I just dont know what to do with myself sitting at home. I do pray that he will think things through and realize what's out in the world is not going to make him happy-but then when he says that he loves me for who I am and for the time we've had together and for being the mother of his child-is that common for people in this situation? I still love him and want this to work out-so no I'm not ready for plan B -maybe I dont even really realize what plan B is.

By the way our son is 11 y.o and is hysterical and completely in shock-we never gave him any reason to believe this could happen. We never fought or anything before all of this happened.

Okay, how about checking here before you make any more drastic decisions? Ignore all the crazy talk your husband is spouting. That is how WS's are. OF COURSE it is about the OW.

Why is your WH going alone to the Harley BBQ at the Harley dealership? You need to be going too. Also it is important to spend 15 hours a week doing fun things together.

Good job in telling the OM. Now hopefully he will begin checking on his wife.

The problem is now your husband is out of the house, and you have no idea what Plan B is.

He went to the bbq with some friends from work-it was ok with me. We went out together Friday night and then went out to dinner Sat night and were supposed to go out together Sunday night. What does everyone think my next step should be? Was it wrong to tell him he had to go if he wasnt going to stop? I really need help here

Concentrate on your son. He needs reassurance of your love and loyalty more than ever. It is common for children to blame themselves and think the BS will betray them also.

Get him into some good IC ASAP. You may need to let his teacher know so they will be aware of any change in his learning pattern.

Concentrate on your son.

L.