This question can be for anyone whether they have cheated or not. Well today I found myself in something that I was very uncomfortable with & didn't know quite how to handle it. My H & I went to an older mans house (he's not married) he's someone my H kind of knows from dirtbike riding and I have met him a couple of times. We went into his shop because my H loves all the machining equipment and stuff. We go in and there are posters ALL over the walls of girls half naked, see through bikinis, you name it, oh and sick a pair of panties. So I'm immediately uncomfortable whether or not H is going to look, I kept trying to peek and look at him to see if he was, I'm sure he got glimpses. So we leave and he knew I was upset and I said well I don't think we need to go to his house again. H says why, I said you know why. He said I didn't look, I made sure I didn't look at the walls (yeah right). I said how would you like it if we went to MY friends house and were surrounded by half naked men all over, I know you wouldn't like it, he said, I don't think he had anything naked, I said well how would you know if you didn't look?? he said he asked me if there were (he didn't). He made that statement. Again, it was hard not to notice. So my question is how do you deal with these things, I know these things are every where, It bothers me because I wonder what would he have done if I wasn't there, would he have looked>
We have this same thing with tv, should they turn away from every commecial that shows girls in skimpy things? He says he does, and he does when I'm there but I don't know that I trust him when I'm not there, I mean what should they do?? It really bothers me. thanks

{{We have this same thing with tv, should they turn away from every commecial that shows girls in skimpy things? He says he does, and he does when I'm there but I don't know that I trust him when I'm not there, I mean what should they do?? It really bothers me. thanks}}

Wow, I'm not trying to minimize that him looking at girls in skimpy clothing on tv bothers you, but I dont' think it's realistic to expect him to turn away from every commercial that does..? I mean, aside from not watching television or movies at all it's pretty much impossible these days not to see a girl dressed skimpy.

Are you in IC? I know it's hard on a BS once they've been cheated on, but if you really do want to move on, you will probably have to deal with your H's interaction in life a little more realistically.

Thanks, you're right it sounds totally crazy, but since finding out about his ONS I have struggled with my self esteem. I have to wonder why he would screw someone he didn't know. Yes it bothers me that he could be "lusting" over these posters or commercials. He isn't into porn but what if he were? isn't putting yourself into a situation where there are posters EVERYWHERE of naked women getting yourself into trouble? I guess what male wouldn't get turned on? to me they should avoid it. Commercials I understand a little more, but shouldn't you avoid going to someones house that has that crap plastered everywhere? Thanks

WTMO,

Simply put, your H should be protecting you from things which make you feel uncomfortable.

He must understand what makes you uncomfortable and upset and AVOID these things. This has to do with RESPECT! His respect for you!

""he said, I don't think he had anything naked""
This, of course, has NOTHING to do with it. You were in a UNCOMFORTABLE situation, he realized it, he should have cut the visit short.

And he does not put his "aquaintence's" feelings above yours.

On the other hand, it seems auto mechanics are required to have these scantily clad woman posters and calenders on their walls. It is part of their uniform.

krk

thanks your krusht, he did cut it as short as he could but the guy just kept talking and showing him how some stuff worked, he didn't want to be rude. He did make sure he was by my side the whole time (I think mainly to make me feel comfortable and that he wasn't trying to look). When I said we shouldn't go there anymore he said ok but kind with an attitude, he said well I wont go there without you, is that ok? I said I didn't know. Its not some where we would go very often at all, it's more if he needed something special done. (not very often). So what about tv and commercials I know he knows those things make me uncomfortable but I can't stop him from watching, do I just trust he's turning away like he says? My FWH is an auto mechanic and he knows I would NEVER allow something like that, & you're right we have been places (other peoples houses) that have that stuff but not as much as this guy, I mean a pair of panties that's sick!!!!