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But I, the pepperband know how to GET MEL'S GOAT <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Pep
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I am a very willful, headstrong woman LG Slapping head! Exclaiming: "I KNEW it! I couldn't put my finger on it until you said this" ROTFLMAO.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> [/quote] I knew y'all would be surprised to hear dat! **snort** <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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But I, the pepperband know how to GET MEL'S GOAT <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Pep I DON'T HAVE NO GOATS, PEP!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I DON'T HAVE NO GOATS, PEP!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> Perchance, Maybe Pep has taken them..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />
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LG,
i apologize if i offended you. I was not trying to imply that you were hiding your affair in any way.
ANd most certainly NOT saying that you are not helpful to LilSis...
Just that her H may view certain things differently than you do.
like the panty game. I honestly think he feels remorse and disgust WITH himself...but, deflects those feeling to LS.
I went back and looked at some of your posts to try to remember why I had a certain "idea' about you. We once traded posts on the thread..."Why Women leave Men" and a couple of things you said there le dme to believe you had had more than 1 affair. I apologize for the misunderstanding.
sorry to threadjack LS.
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Nia:
That was like four-five pages ago in this story.
LilSIs is awesome...
I rememeber our exchange over in "Why Women Leave Men" and some others on the emotional needs board. No offense taken.
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Away from the computer while having a heart to heart with DS11 and the internet goes down...so if I can back everyone up a couple of hours...
mimi...you have to go back and read Friday, please?? SOO much happened with court and my confrontation with WH and my "boundary setting" yesterday morning. I've been a nervous wreck and I would love to hear your thoughts.
More on SF:
This is going to sound ridiculous, but I know that WH would not "use" me for SF. He does care for me, I know it. He does not LIKE that he has hurt me, but he has MADE A CHOICE to hurt me ANYWAY, because it's worth it. But, he won't let himself hurt me MORE by "using" me for SF, even if he were tempted. Especially when he's getting all he wants from RT. (que my mind movie..."hip to hip, stomach to stomach" direct from d-day email)
Be back after I barf.
About the toughness issue...
I am NOT tough. At all. I am Sweet Mary Sunshine, heck...I apologize OUT LOUD to MYSELF when I stub my toe. I have spent my life being a doormat...pretty much. Never confrontational. So me being "tough" means actually setting a boundary, as I did yesterday...and expecting that he will respect me and respect the boundary. That's a new thing for me...not being so AFRAID. I'm NOT Ms. Career Woman, toe-to-toe with the guys.
Tough was just standing my ground and not allowing WH to take advantage of me by dumping the kids off when he wanted to work overtime. Tough was confronting him--calmly--about how hurt and disappointed I was that he would stand by and allow someone to deliberatly try to hurt me. Both times, I had feelings that I EXPRESSED honestly rather than rolling over or internalizing them.
Gotta go back and see what else I missed....
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he felt that I was constantly COMPETING with him. It was a major LOVEBUSTER that caused him to fall out of love with me. He wanted a lover, not a competitor. This was definitely true in our situation. He wanted a lover, not a competitor. Yep. I was so off-base and wrong, thinking that he liked my COMPETIVENESS with him. YUCK... This left him vulnerable to the first woman who came along and looked up to him. She made him FEEL LIKE A MAN. She didn't compete with him or try to show him how "tough" she was. This was irresistable to him. OH MY! EXACTLY!!! THE DRUG......OF FEELING LIKE A MAN!!! Does your "toughness" attract or repel him? It absolutely REPELLED my husband Mine, too....
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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LilSis,
I think I remember you saying that you were gonna schedule another call with Steve Harley. Have you done that?
You're doing so well in this and in my mind making huge strides. The next steps seem critical right now. Seems like SH would have the best advice.
I know everyone here has your best interest at heart, but we can't all be right about the next step.
All I can say is hang in there.
This thread is clearly the most popular on the MB board. SO many people are pulling for and praying for you. That's gotta mean something.
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Tough was just standing my ground and not allowing WH to take advantage of me by dumping the kids off when he wanted to work overtime. Tough was confronting him--calmly--about how hurt and disappointed I was that he would stand by and allow someone to deliberatly try to hurt me. Both times, I had feelings that I EXPRESSED honestly rather than rolling over or internalizing them. Thanks for the clarification, LilSis. I got nervous when I saw your words and was worried that I was seeing a mirror image of MYOWNBADSELF! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Did you read susan's post about what a jelous OW she was?
always questioning Him afte rhe had been w/ wife...always supicious.
I imagine RT to be like this.....do you? interrogating him about every moment he spends w/ you. The more time you spend w/ him that she knows about the more she will be interrogating him and eventually that will get very old. Yes...and I hope you are both correct...but maybe I give RT too much credit. I can envision her KNOWING intuitively that interrogating him will be an LB, so she bites her tongue, and she is PATIENT. This "woman" won't UNBITE her tongue until she has WH fully wrapped up in her web, pumped full of the paralyzing venom, and is ready to start sucking his blood. She's evil evil evil.
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<doing the predatory OW shuffle...a little evening softshoe>
Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once ~Shakespeare
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One might question why a man would marry a woman who is not his "type". I think it is mostly BS.
My BIL wanted a SAHM, very feminine, tiny little woman. That is who he married. She stayed home and raised his 3 kids. Then (after a year long job layoff), he got a high-powered job, and guess what? He "fell in love" with a ballsy, obnoxious b*tch.
Suddenly he put a lot of pressure on poor wifey to compete. She valiantly did.
The story came out happy anyway, thanks to Believer, who went over to the OW's home, knocked on the door, and told her husband what was going on at work.
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scary.
she sounds like a terrorist.
I hope you do give her more credit than she deserves.
but,you know her better than we do....so, go w/ your gut.
Do you think she has enough patience to NOT ask any questions of your H after he spends time w/ you?
or do you think she just asks in a very cunning and manipulitive way?
how did she get infor out of you about H when you were supposedly friends?
Last edited by nia17; 01/22/07 10:23 PM.
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sorry for the threadjack, LS!
Mimi, I remember this was one of your biggest issues when you first came here, too. How far you have come since those days! My red flags went off when I saw her mention her show of "toughness." As she said, though, this is not an issue with her.
For me, I continue to be AMAZED that I ever thought being a ballbuster would be attractive to any man. I have taken this lesson into my career and have made AMAZING gains in business, in addition to my marriage.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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One might question why a man would marry a woman who is not his "type". I think it is mostly BS.
My BIL wanted a SAHM, very feminine, tiny little woman. That is who he married. She stayed home and raised his 3 kids. Then (after a year long job layoff), he got a high-powered job, and guess what? He "fell in love" with a ballsy, obnoxious b*tch.
Suddenly he put a lot of pressure on poor wifey to compete. She valiantly did.
The story came out happy anyway, thanks to Believer, who went over to the OW's home, knocked on the door, and told her husband what was going on at work. My guess would be that the OW made it easy for him.....went after HIM...stroked his ego. etc. etc. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
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He wanted a lover, not a competitor. OH MY! EXACTLY!!! THE DRUG......OF FEELING LIKE A MAN!!! So I clarified how I was "tough," meaning (for me) not being a doormat. But there's an element of this here that's worth remembering, because we've talked about it before. I interpret it as letting him be the hero, letting him save the day...by fixing the lock, washing the car, plugging the car in for me, taking me out for breakfast, shoveling the back porch, changing the filter...and being oh so appreciative and admiring for his efforts. He could have been the hero big time by supporting me in court, and I showed him how hurt I was that he didn't...(he was too busy being hero for RT) There's something else, though...intellectual competitiveness?? Not really competitiveness...but we always enjoyed having spirited discussions about issues that we agreed on...knowing you have a partner who's your equal...?? Anyone? edit to add: Upon re-reading, I guess that would be "respect" Duh.
Last edited by LilSis; 01/22/07 10:29 PM.
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There's something else, though...intellectual competitiveness?? Not really competitiveness...but we always enjoyed having spirited discussions about issues that we agreed on...knowing you have a partner who's your equal...?? Anyone This is what I thought....WRONG.... NO COMPETIVENESS....Intellectual competiveness is COMPETIVENESS... Check this out, Sis... I have a professional post-graduate degree and profession... The OW hadn't even gone to college...
Last edited by mimi1254; 01/22/07 10:35 PM.
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Spirited Discussions??
I would think that has got to be huge.
I remember you metioned that you went to a John Kerry rally....or something like that....I got the impression that you went simply because you were both looking for something interesting to discuss.
did you ever argue about your views or opinions?
What
type of spirited discussions do you think he has w/ OW?
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He doesn't want spirited discussions, nia..
He wants ROMANCE..her looking up into his eyes while he talks...her wearing a sexy outfit...
Last edited by mimi1254; 01/22/07 10:38 PM.
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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