My WW does not even want to talk about it and I am never with her to let her see the new and improved me. That makes it even harder.

I will try to get up with SH sometime this week. Funds are a little short right now but I will do my best. I still need my MBer's. You all can't leave me. You are the only encouragement I have right now. No one else understands except for one guy who I talk to daily. He is a big help but it is rrefreshing to come here and chat. I wish this site had IM

Why wouldn't you do as you usually do w/ DD?

I'm not saying you should drop DD off in the AM at your WW, I'm just asking why you want to do it differently?

~ Marsh

I figured since she hasn't called I would be able to show her that I can make alternative plans to assure DD gets to scholl when I have her. It is just a thought I haven't acted on anything yet. I did ash DD if she wanted to go to WW to spend a night. She said no. So i am letting her stay with me tonight.

Hmmmm, I'm trying to see how it would benefit anyone.

I doubt she needs to be shown you are capable of finding someone else to get DD off to school. Of course you can.

I think you should just go ahead and do as you usually do.

If you insist on your alternate plan, it may come across looking as though you are trying to punish WW for not calling earlier.

~ Marsh

OK I will go with the norm.

Good.

B/c the new PBH doesn't punish.

He respects.

You're doing great!

What colors did DD pick out for her room?

Hot Pink? Passion purple?

~ Marsh

I wish I could say the same about myself. I feel that I am failing. I am being nice and considerant and getting nothing. My taker is still on me. It is very hard to please taker when DD needs pleasing. The things that please her don't always please me. I enjoy doing them w/her but at the same time it is still difficult.


Sky Blue with a Rainbow and a pot of gold at the end. She is wanting a unicorn on the other wall.

Well, you'll have more time tomorrow after work to try to make it up to your Taker.

I have a feeling you're not good at taking care of him. You NEED to do more stuff for him. You're giver is working over time, and your Taker is getting miffed.

Treat yourself to a nice meal tomorrow. Buy yourself something. Work out extra hard tomorrow.

Seriously, you've got to keep him happy.



LOL

We know you can sing, but didn't know you could paint as well. I think I could pull off the rainbow, but I can just imagine how bad I could make a unicorn look if I were to try to paint one. LOL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

~ Marsh

PS: Did you speak to WW tonight?

--I sure wish I knew of a way to get my WW to talk to a FWW.

If you figure one out. . . . But seriously, you know it's not possible, right?

For painting a unicorn on a wall, you might try a laptop computer and LCD projector if you have access to them. Then just paint over the image. A friend of mine painted a killer Finding Nemo room that way.

[qoute]PS: Did you speak to WW tonight? [/quote]

Nope We called her back but she didn't answer. She has yet to call back.

Me and DD are watching How to eat Fried Worm. Pretty funny

WW finally called at 10. DD told her that I would bring her over there in the morning. Then WW caled back and asked me what time I would be bringing DD. I told her about 6:30 as usual. She is wanting to know what time he needs to be gone. I am not dumb.

HB,

Read through since my last post & although I hear your frustration & lonliness, I think you're doing very well actually. Believe me. I was seperated too. It's NOT easy. It's probably the hardest thing to do in your life so far. The hardest part for me was seeing LB walk away from our home every night. Sleeping alone at night was a biggie to get used to for me.

I had to think of it this way -- God was preparing me for reconciliation. That's how I eventually looked at it. I didn't know how long it would take or what would happen in the meantime but I knew that God was putting ME on a journey. What really helped me stay focused was putting together a prayer list & checking off the prayers I saw getting answered. They included everything from my mom staying well to my kids staying focused on God to reconciling my M. A whole list of things. Each time something was answered, I checked it off. I also had a positive list of things I was thankful for that I kept adding to each day till the list was 2 pages long. How about you create one of those & post it here?

These things I want to elaborate on:

Let me give you this scripture:
Matthew 5:3-11 -- 3"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
5Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
6Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
7Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
8Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
9Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.
10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Have you been reading Psalms & Proverbs? Start at Psalms chapter (whichever day it is) & keep reading to the end of Psalms that day every 30 chapters. For example, by the time you read this it'll probably be the 8th. Read Psalms 8, 38, 68, 98, etc. until the end of Psalms. The next day Psalms 9, 39, 69, etc. And then Proverbs 8 for tomorrow. Psalms will bring you comfort & Proverbs will give you wisdom. Pray before you begin reading as to what insight God wants you to have for that day. Each day might be something different. Another day it might be repetitive, maybe emphasizing something He wants you to focus on for that week. Try that & see how God continues to uplift you when you feel completely lost & alone. Remember, you are not alone in this journey. God is always there. And remember, He's working behind the scenes on things you cannot see in front of you. Thank Him for that.

I can't stress enough the importance of following all the other's advice in doing something for YOU. This will help w/your Taker. Something that makes you feel better about yourself. The gym is a great idea. Glad to see that you & your DD are painting her room. You'll have to let us know when you finish that project.


It won't help. She will only hear what she wants to hear. Speaking to a FWW will come after she's back home & wanting to recover. There is plenty of time for that. If she would happen to talk to any FWW, all she'll do is justify why HER actions are right & theirs was wrong. Every WS has a justification. It's what they use to lessen their conscience.


Let me say something to you that you may find strange. Praise God! What, you ask? How's this a praise? If this is true, and the oM will be gone by the time your DD comes, isn't this part of an answered prayer for you? You wanted the OM away from your DD. He will be away, even for this brief moment. Remember, praising HIm even for the slightest thing is still a praise & it keeps your focus on the sky.

As for the cell phone ringer, I agree that a song like that would make you seem desperate. How about a gospel song about strength? One of my favorites during that time was Randy Travis' Everywhere We Go on his Rise & Shine cd. It helped reinforce the idea that God was always there w/me during this trial.

You're doing the best you can do right now, HB. That's all God asks from you & that's all anyone expects from you. That's all you can expect from yourself. This is one of the hardest things to deal with in life. Remember, you're not alone.

Blessings,

Hedge of thorns prayer:

"Heavenly Father, I ask You in the name and through the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ, to build a "hedge of thorns" around my partner. I pray that through this hedge, any other lover will lose interest and depart. I base this prayer on Your Word which commands that what You have joined together, let not man put asunder."

OK Probably had major LB this morning. went to take DD to WW's house and OM was there. DD didn't want to stay with WW so I went talk with WW. Although I never lost my head or cool. I kept telling her that I believed in our marriage and I believe God will restore it. I did tell her I loved her twice also. WW hollered at me the whole time and kept asking why can't you move on. You can imagine all that was said. One thing she did say and when she said it I said ok i'll take and leave on that. This is what lead up to it. I told her she will be getting papers today that I and my lawyer sent that states where I am on this marriage. OM will also be getting his papers today with the charges I will file if he doesn't back off. She said you can't do that. I said ok if that is what he is telling you then, let him wait and see. She then said I have no proof and I smiled and said OK. she then said well I wasn't happy in the marriage and courts will throw it out. I said OK. she said is that all you can say. I said you keep defending what you are doing because you are in this FOG. You have no concept of what is going on and will all of this can lead to. I said do you know why your not happy and running to him all the time? she said because he makes me feel good. I said that's right, but you know deep down that God is chasing you and you are running for comfort just like you did to me a few ago. Time is almost up for OM and he will move on and leave you with nothing. She said well this is my decision. I said well my decision is to stand strong for my marriage. She said you are pushing me away. I said so you are saying you aren't quite gone yet if I can push you away, I'll take that and left.

Threats don't accomplish anything...only action. I hope you actually are going to do what you say...she/they need to trust your words will be followed up with action.

Teaching her won't do you much good either

Certainly not your best moment but not all that bad...you did deliver some carrot and stick therein and conflict is not all bad.

I don't know what is in the wayward's water when they consistently make the claim "you have no proof"....for some reason they think they can do whatever they what, whereever they want but as long as you can't or don't get pictures or video of them actually "doing it" then they can maintain legal deniability. What crap...it's 6:30 am and OM is THERE at her home alone with her and she's standing there saying "you have no proof".


W

I plan on doing everything I possibly can to make the A difficult. Problem was my DD saw his car and is torn. WW says I am the reason DD acts this way towards her. Well I am not the one with another car in the garage. DD is drawing her own conclusions. WW just doesn't see that.



I did my best. I did drive off the first time because I was so mad. I knew I could not handle it then. We came back 30 minutes later and OM was leaving. I then talked to her. I just don't understand.


I took pictures

I also am trying to figure out whether God is telling me something and I don't see it. I know that God stands firm in Marriage and all. His word does not lie. But I can't help but feel sometimes that he is trying to tell me to run because she has hardened her heart and will not give in. I am looking for answers.

She's about to get a rude dose of reality. I love that when it happens to waywards. Also, I think you can get some kind of order to keep your kids from the OM if your WW keeps exposing them to him. Consult your lawyer to see if there is anything else you can do to keep this from happening.

What do you mean be rude dose of reality? I don't really think they care right now. The fog is so thick WW believes everything OM is telling her.

I am in that process of keeping the OM away right now. The problem is that if I do to much, DSS may take youngest DD from home and place elsewhere. I told WW that I was going to call DSS today to see if I can start getting time with her. She said if I do they may take her because DSS does not allow the kids to get involved in custody battles. Now I'm in a pinch because I want to see DD but I am afraid if I say something they may take her and that would push WW away even more. Maybe the treat of calling will be enough reality for her to see I mean business.

I am thinking of changed my name to ConfusedHB because I stay that way as of late. or maybe confused&paranoidHB

PHB,

Did you go over there before 6:30 this morning?

~ Marsh