Point taken, SL. You're right.

Fox

Yesterdays events:

Yesterday was WH afternoon with DDs. Volleyball practice is also on this day. I coach their team. WH picks up DDs after school and then brings them back to school at 5 for practice, practice runs til 6, WH picks them up again and then brings them home at 7:30.

At 5:10, DDs had not yet shown up for volleyball practice. I called DD13 on her cell phone and asked where they were at. They were shopping with WH and didn't realize it was so late. They hurried back to school. I'm the coach and my own kids are 20 minutes late... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> Not that big of a deal, but still irritating.

He has also started calling the home phone to reach DDs. What's up with that? He bought them cell phones so he could reach them, he should use them. Part of me wonders if he isn't just trying to bug me. I had told him towards the end of Plan A that it hurt to see his number coming up on caller id, knowing he wasn't calling to talk to me.

Maybe it's not about me at all, maybe it's just that DDs don't always have their phones on and he calls the house phone to reach them.

Anyway, that's the latest. Pretty quiet which is good. WH has DDs all weekend so I'm off to have fun with some friends. Told DDs I wouldn't be home all weekend and to call my cell to reach me. It's supposed to be gorgeous weather this weekend and I'm going to enjoy it!

You're doing real good horses! Don't try too read to much into all the dumb little things they do. Their little brains are currently only capable of so much. Sort of like Sis's rats (mmmm eat mmmm sex mmmmm sleepy mmmm sex mmmmm eat). We probably give them too much credit when we think they have a plan.

Have a great weekend!

You're right, chrisner. I shouldn't be reading too much into it...I still look for those crumbs every once in a while. I think it is part of the glancing over my shoulder for WH to catch up...hoping I will see some positive step.

He's so far behind right now that even if there was a positive step, it isn't enough. There would have to be many just so I could see him on the horizon.

As far as being like Sis' rats....I think they have a better life than WH. He's barely eating and getting very little sleep (I'm ignoring the sex part <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />) WH is looking pretty cruddy....sickly almost. Probably too weak for sex <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> Okay, maybe not that bad...but I can hope. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Thanks for the encouragement. Hope you have a great weekend.

Wow, having your own kids late for practice must have been pretty frustrating. But it's great that you vented it here rather than on WH (which he may have wanted you to do).

I hope your weekend is great, Fox. You deserve it.

Horses,

Funny you say that. I heard from a friend of DD19 yesterday that Wayzilla is not looking good. She thought she had lost a lot of weight (and there was not any to spare already), looked pale and sickly and decidedly not happy. She went on and said that Wayzilla is not even pretty like she used to be. She described her as cold, hard and distant. Sucks to be a Wayward.

I have put a couple pounds back on since Plan B started so I think I need to start walking more and maybe shoot a few hoops at the gym.

Yep, it’s going to be a great weekend for some of us.

Being late is fairly typical of H and WH. He is on his own time schedule and every one else is supposed to adjust around him. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

I don't think he did it on purpose, just is careless and inconsiderate. It's about him, not about DDs being where they need to be at a certain time.

Hope you have great weekend, sdguy038, you deserve it too!

http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSN0532023420070206

We all know about this story, but I want to point out how affairs can make your looks go downhill. On the left you see an attractive smiling woman, on the right... well, she looks less than attractive.

My WW looks pale and gaunt now. Unattractive. Cold, hard, and distant describes WW, too. Sad.

The infidelity diet is still working me over--I actually need to gain a few pounds back, but I know they will come. Unlike the hair.

Camping out in the back yard with the kids tonight.

Eek! That is rough! WH is getting there, I think.

But then I wonder if maybe I just "see" him differently now. Minus the rose colored glasses.

But others have commented on it so it can't be just me. I really believe this is eating him up from the inside out.

It's been hard to let him go and let him struggle. I've wanted to step in and help him. But I can't and I've finally come to that realization. If he can make himself sick, he can make himself better. He has to make that choice, I can't do it for him. I think that is why I struggled so hard going into Plan B, I didn't want to abandon him when his life was going to ******. I wanted to take those crumbs because maybe I could reach him somehow, not just for me and the recovery of our marriage, but because I wanted to help HIM.

At least I know it bothers him, even if he is choosing to do it anyway. His life is much harder than it was before and about to get even harder once the divorce is final. It was not as easy for him to leave me as it looked at first. It's somewhat gratifying to see it take its toll on him.

I SO get this. As much as WW deserves all the pain and suffering she is currently feeling and has coming, I think I would still spare her it if I could. She's so lost and angry and can't accept help from the one that wants to give it to her the most (or anyone else, really). Thank God for Plan B.

I'm with you guys on this. WH hasn't lost any weight, he's gained a bit. He was already heavy when he chose his first affair. I lost weight on the post Dday diet, but have since gained it back on the AD diet. I need to lose a few pounds, but to most, I look GREAT (they always say, for my age, hmmmm) ANYWAY.

I sometimes wish that I could help WH. Get him into counseling, get him up and active, involved in HIS life with his son. Even EXCLUDING myself from his personal recovery. I just want to see H again, to hear him REALLY laugh. Meh, maybe he has changed for good, and will never be that person again; it's a shame, he was a pretty great guy.

I'll settle for me getting back to ME again, really laughing, really smiling, enjoying my life. That's fine with me... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Just checking in with you, I hope you had a good weekend! When is the new mediation date, do you have it yet?

Good morning, everyone. My weekend was pretty good. WH had DDs all weekend and I did alot of horseback riding and relaxing.

No new mediation date yet but if it is going to happen it has to happen this week since the final D date is next Tuesday.

Just left a message for my lawyer asking if we are going to try mediation. If so, it has to be done this week. Time is running short.

I'd like to know what WH is asking for so I can just put it all in the garage. He'll have no reason to go into the house at all.

WH was on time to drop of DDs at volleyball practice yesterday. He was actually there before I was, DDs were waiting in his truck. As soon as I got out, DDs got out and came to give me a big hug and we went in together. WH left.

He was also there on time to pick them up, I left right after them and followed them for a few blocks. At a stop light, I pulled up next to WH and DD13 was sitting in the passenger seat. She fanned her nose like something stunk. When she got home later that night I teased her and asked what that was about and she said WH was smoking and it STUNK! I hope he saw that. DD13 hid a couple of his packs of smokes from him, one under the seat and another somewhere under the dash but first she wrote "these are VERY bad for you" on the packs. WH HATES it if someone messes with his smokes! He would get angry when we would try to tease him and hide them from him....he did NOT like the joke! I wonder if he will say anything to DD13.

I drove past them and turned down a different road on my way to the mall. I did a little shopping and as I was coming out of the last store I looked up and WH and DDs were walking down the mall towards me (he was holding each of their hands like they were 3!). (OH! How that would have hurt a few months ago). I didn't look at or acknowledge WH at all (wallpaper) and teased DD12 about seeing her there. She laughed and zinged me back. I said love you and see ya later to DDs as we passed. I got to the parking lot and WH had parked right next to me....when there were tons of other spots around.

When DDs got home DD13 told me how silly she felt walking down the mall holding her "daddy's" hand. She said she felt like a little girl!

At the end of February WH had emailed me a list through my intermediary on days that he wanted DDs. One of the days he requested was March 28. I had originally told him no because DD13 would be practicing for rodeo. It turns out we haven't started practicing yet so I told DD12 yesterday when she was with WH to tell him that if he still wanted to take them on March 28, he could. They have early release from school that day. I told her I just needed to know if he was picking them up from school and what time he would have them home and she could tell me that night when she got back.

When she got home she told me that WH had told her I had told him no. She told him that she knew that but she just talked to me and plans had changed and I said it was ok. He told her that yes, he would take them and he would pick them up from school. But.... didn't say when he was bringing them home.

He doesn't seem to think this information is necessary, I am just supposed to be home waiting for everyone. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Fox

More info from DDs:

WH is getting another tattoo..a lionhead. And he is getting one for MOW. According to DD13 it is something that WH drew and has WH and MOW names in it but you can't tell unless you know it is there. It is a strip that will go across her lower back. (PUKE!)

According to MOWH, MOW has a tattoo on her chest and a few months prior to the A was trying to get it removed. She thought it was silly and regretted having it done when she did. How is she going to feel when her and WH break up and she is stuck with this LARGE tattoo on her a$$ with his name in it?!

What idiots! And the fact he told his DDs..... I don't even know what to say about that!

Fox

It sounds like your WH doesn't like Plan B, either. Why park next to you? And showing up at the mall?

The tattoo thing is great. It will be a nice reminder of her insanity.

It sounds like you're doing really well! Great job ignoring him. Keep it up.

He has money for a tattoo yet he's not paying CS and his truck is broke down? What a dope... lol

You are doing great wild!!!

My next test in ignoring him is today. It is the first volleyball game of the season and WH told DDs he is going. Thankfully I will be at the bench with the team.

He's wallpaper.

I'm getting to the point that it is actually easy to ignore him. I see him through different eyes. As a WH, he is a pathetic excuse for a husband and father and I don't need that. I am absolutely finished with him until MOW is out of his life. No question.

Okay, self-talk over with. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Fox

I'm glad that wallpaper idea is working for you.

I hope your DD's first game goes well!!