I agree with MyBad. Less is a lot more. Get it all down then keep boiling and trimming until it is a hammer of brevity and cool.

I am packed and ready.

I think I will not respond today. I don't have to jump every time he speaks. He can wait.

My column is flowing waaaay too slowly, so I'm back. I have my braclets at the ready, ALWAYS.

Like I said, just stick to the facts, ma'am. USUALLY, I write my email, then I check it, edit, then I breathe, read again, more editing, once the steam stops coming out of my ears, edit some more, then my heart rate slows, WOW, Edit that out!, then I feel calm and I edit some more. Once I've got it down to the basics, I send it.

Taxes –I already filed and claimed DDs.

As far as the horse, she is your responsibility and can do what you please, but you are on your own in doing so.

Cell phones are not a necessity. If you need to reach DD12 call the land line or her sister.

During the break, you can have girls from…… to………this is non negotiable.



Fox - I love your fist letter the best though! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
The one you want to send but won't! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

MyBad

Wow... MyBad's approach is awesome! As women we tend to be too wordy.

Good idea to wait til tomorrow, you will be able to respond with less emotion after sleeping on it.

"I think I will not respond today. I don't have to jump every time he speaks. He can wait." - WildH

"Exxxxxxcellent" - Mr. Burns

His ASAP (Asinine Sniveling and Pouting) is not your ASAP.

The cell phones: We didn't agree they could have them before he bought them. We never AGREED to any rules, etc. Now all of a sudden, he wants agreement? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> POS

I'm glad this makes me mad instead of heartbroken. A pain, but much easier this way.

LOVE IT!

Boy, I'm out for one lawyer's appointment and all ****** breaks loose.


Just a bit. Working it out here is exactly right. Get the stuff out of your head. You did great.

I agree with MyBad. Make the response as short as possible, and make him wait for it. You're triggered. You want to respond. Ask yourself: why respond? What do you hope to accomplish? Will he listen?

Chris, can you gas up the Batmobile? Gas here is $3.50 a gallon.

I just fired my mother as intermediary. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> You can tell she was married to an alcoholic for almost 20 years. Her middle name is enabler.

My mother must have called WH and told him she is no longer intermediary. He just tried to call my office. My back-up guy was on another line. So I picked up the line WH was on and hung it back up. He hasn't called back.

WildH,

I must have missed something through the thread. Why did you "fire" your mother today?

Because I trusted her to support me. Not to necessarily always agree, but not to go against me either. Today she decided to put her own 2 cents on how I am dealing with things and she doesn't approve. She sent an email last week to WH, too, disagreeing with some of what I've done.

She and WH talked today and are in agreement on other things, I guess. He played her and she fell for it.

She made me feel like I am being unreasonable and she "just doesn't understand where I am coming from."

Good that you fired her. Man, I hate it when people are ostensibly on your side don't get it.

You know, there's probably a way to set it up so that we could be each others' intermediaries.

It would be great to have a pool of intermediaries floating around here, wouldn't it?

Fox, I'm so sorry to hear about your mother's betrayal. I can't imagine how angry you are with her right now. What is it about this whole mess that people feel the need to ignore it. Hey, there's a GREAT BIG PURPLE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM CALLED INFIDELITY, and IT HURTS. Duh. How hard is it to support that?

Geez... your mom needs a reality check. He left you guys to go live with a MOW. Why the heck would she be siding with him????

{{Wild}} I'm so sorry to hear this. Do you know of anyone who could be more impartial to be your intermediary?

I know who could be intermediary!!!

OWH!

Let him stew in that!

As an aside - what is wrong with the horse that WH wants to have her destroyed? I am a horse owner, too.
Mulan

Morning, everyone.

I agree, we do need a pool of intermediaries here. I don't think the intermediaries from the outside really understand the concept and what they need to do to protect us.

In one of my moments of rage...I did consider telling WH he would have to use MOW H as a go-between. MOW H suggested it himself. That would get pretty messy. But it gave me a little satisfaction just thinking what WH would think about it.

WH told me one day that I thought it was only fair that I pick up DDs from his house instead of him having to run them home every time. He thought whoever wanted them back should have to pick them up. I was sooooo tempted to tell him that was fine, and next time he wants DDs, he can pick them up from MOW H house. I didn't, but I may in the future if he tries to pull that crap again.

And if WH was smart (which is questionable), he wouldn't WANT me to come to his house. And does MOW really want me to show up there? I don't think so. I wouldn't be waiting in the car for DDs to come out, I'd march right up to the door and then step inside. Strong and confident, might even walk around the house and have DDs show me their rooms. I don't think either WH or MOW better ask for that. Although, I'd love to make them squirm.

More on the horse later, gotta get some work done.

Fox

I'm still in a quandry as to what to do about Easter and Spring Break. I haven't answered WH regarding his request to have DDs Saturday noon through Wednesday noon. He won't commit to not having them stay at his/MOW house.

My first thought is make plans and don't worry about what WH wants. Easter and all of Spring Break were times I had originally listed as mine in my response to WH divorce petition. WH would then have DDs on Memorial Day and the next school holiday. No need to adjust it now because he wants something different.

I just talked to the managing partner at work and he authorized me taking all of next week off for vacation. Too bad I don't have any money to actually go anywhere! Oh well, we can find things around here. Hiking, riding horses, swimming, bike riding, volleyball, invite friends overnight, etc.

Okay, maybe not in such a quandry anymore. Just talked myself through it.

Fox