I emailed WH and lets just say I am pleasantly surprised (although a little concerned too).

BS email: When do you plan on returning DDs this weekend?

WH email: Sunday is your day. I'll have them at XXXX @ 10:00am Can you be there at that time?

BS email ('cause I can't leave well enough alone): Can we do 9am instead? We have a full day planned and need to get started as soon as possible.

WH email: That's fine.

Maybe WH IS actually a reasonable guy....NOT! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> I'm not sure I trust this, but in order to save DDs the drama of how this could go, I'm going to risk it.

It means I can't take them to the parade as DD13 wanted, but sometimes you have to give a little. She'll probably end up going with a friend now anyway.

Fox, I feel for you right now. Over the past couple of months, I have come to see how very rocky your WH is making things. I just don't get it. At first, he didn't even give you guys a second thought . Then he got legal counsel, who told him to get in the game or lose a lot. Now, it's like he's lost his cool and is turning into a mad man. Be very careful with this one.

If you do take the kids, then getting out of town is probably the best decision. Be prepared to call the sheriff, to stop any confrontations. I would hate to see a similar sitch occur as in the 'rodeo' disaster.

It just makes me angry that you even have to be in this position . I don't understand what is so difficult about making an agreement and sticking to it, especially when it harms your children otherwise. Your WH is truly trying to intimidate and bully you.

(Big sigh of relief..) Good. I think you handled it well.

Well done Cowgirl!

Sigh of relief from Denver!

Okay you Killer Bees! Back to DEFCON Yellow.


Edited:


Pmeggy! We posted that at the same time! Great minds?

Whew! Good grief. Glad that part is over.

Hey, if you two had agreed to when the kids are with him, then this year, it is up to WH to take the girls to the parade. I know this SUX, but it's what you agreed. Still don't understand why he can't sign on with what you two agreed upon IN MEDIATION. I mean, WTF, what is mediation for then?

You got THAT right Chris... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

I hope we didn't cause a tornado with all those sighs of relief coming from all over the country (world?). I gave one myself. I was so torn on what to do.

I didn't want to have to hide this weekend and put DDs through it all. Maybe it was just a knee jerk reaction on my part to have to DO something. The gut instinct to PROTECT immediately. FIGHT or FLIGHT?

I have felt this intense HATRED from him....a certain "sense" of instability on his side. I can't really explain it other than I feel something coming.....will it be good for me or bad for me or nothing to me at all? I don't know, maybe not, maybe it's just my imagination wanting to see some change.

Then this email threw me off. Civil? Willing to negotiate? Typing my name at the beginning and typing his own at the end? Usually, I get a terse response, no name greeting no name salutation.

That is interesting. Early in Plan B Wayzilla included greetings and salutations. Of course she got no response.

Then the emails became terse and snippy with no names.

Now she is back to names and there seems more empathy. But again of the past 10 emails in over 2 months I have only responded to 3 with a grand total of 6 words (I blew it because I could have done it in 5 words).

Interesting.

If I woke up next to a baboon in a baby doll I would become unstable too.

((((:0<<<<<<< Marge Simpson Puking Emoticon

They are coming apart Cowgirl. Take care of yourself and Babs and time will take care of the A.

Maybe, just maybe, he read the mediation and although he didn't sign, he realized he was wrong in what he did with the last visitation? Maybe his lawyer told him he's shooting himself in the foot every time he pulls stunts like that? Also, maybe he's realizing there will be times, guarantee it, that he will need a favor from you in regards to the girls?

Of course, all speculation on my part. But, it's possible.

I'm relieved too. It was bothering me to think of you being so nervous and uncomfortable. As much as it's fun to fanatasize about getting revenge, usually the high road is best. It's like not engaging a bully... they lose their thunder. If you continue to be gracious while he acts like a jerk, he's not helping his case at all.

Was that sixth word extra for an olive branch? Silent says those sometimes do work. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

I was reading on another thread about history...and how no one can replace the history between us and the waywards. Some were saying that is what brougt them back to their spouse. I've considered writing WH a letter, pointing out certain things in our history. Good memories. There were some. Not to give him now, as I don't think he is at a spot he will receive it. But later....maybe much later.

But I don't know if I'm at a spot where I can do it yet. I don't want those memories to pull me back into loving him and wanting to save him. Right now, I know I can't save him. He has to do it on his own in order for it to stick.

Just a thought, probably should hold off. There's days that I want to write an FU letter to him, too. But I can't let my own anger and frustration loose, once it's out I'm not sure I can pull it back in. Currently, I seem to be thinking clearly and making good decisions. I don't want to jeopardize that by letting my emotions take control.

If it's viewed as being gracious. I think he sees me as a doormat when I let him get by with these antics. "yup, I shoved her and she fell. Can't wait til next time". I'm afraid DDs will see it that way, too.

I do my best to explain it to them. Time will tell on this one, too.

It is hard to stay as dark as I want because WH asks what DDs what they are doing. And they tell him. Which is fine, but then he knows exactly what I am doing. That is the part that is frustrating. I feel like he is keeping tabs every second of the day. On the other hand, I bet Bab's doesn't like him calling DDs every few hours.



I don't know about this one. I've always been taught to face the bully. The biggest bully is usually the biggest crybaby. I know what you mean, though. It drives them nuts to be ignored.

DD13's cell phone goes directly to voice mail. She usually calls me afte school to let me know she was picked up by WH okay. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Maybe her battery is just dead.....

Fox, your situation is definitely one of the more drama laced on the boards, and not for lack of trying to extend the olive branch, but I have to say, if I had an olive branch in proximity to your WH, I might swat a him with it. He probably wouldn't respond well to that sort of abuse...

You walk a fine line, but i have to agree that facing a bully has it's place, but ignoring them can be more deadly. You know how I've handled things, and how I wouldn't back down about exposing DS to OW, so I can't say that I backed down.

Follow your instincts when it comes to commincation that you wish to have with WH. I would start to write down the history, the memories, in preparation for a time that you may want to send it.

I admire your strength, foxy.

Aim for the eye.

It's hard for me to say you need to do x, y, or z. You are the one living it, you are the one that knows your WH best. Although, these days he's more of an alien. I imagine it has to hurt a lot that he seems so ****** bent on pushing your buttons, venting hatred at you, and just all around being an @$$ when it comes to you.

It seems he got way worse when you went to plan B on him. He lost some of his control, his ability to just vent at you when he pleased, because you weren't bending to his every whim.

Don't be fooled, you are no longer his doormat. When he plays his little games, he's the only loser. He looks like a jerk in front of DD's. He doesn't exactly help his case either (IE, not paying CS for months). I have the feeling his day will come, and it will be in court.

I get the feeling a lot of his anger gets stoked by Babs. She tells him all kinds crap. Look at what she says to her BH about you. So take some of it with a grain of salt if you can. I know... easier said than done. But, you were married to him and you are entitled to whatever the law states in your state regarding marital assets. If they don't like it... well, who f***ing cares? Bab's is gonna get half of her BH's things too. That's just the way it works.

I hope you have a great mothers day with your girls. If he mucks with that, he truly is scum of the earth.

Well, I was speaking more to chrisner about HIM and an olive branch. I really don't think I should have one right now, I'd aim lower than the eye and it wouldn't be a swat. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Last nights child transfer went well. He was on time (a little early even). In trying to get darker I had called DD13 and asked them to have Dad drop them off in front of the building and they could come inside to meet me. He did so, they came in. I waited a little bit until I heard him drive off and then went to go outside to put DDs bags in the truck. WH was cruising the parking lot. I'm assuming he was looking for my truck, which he didn't find because I didn't bring my truck. We stepped back inside and took the bags with us to go shopping so he didn't see me. He then called DD13 and asked if they found me, she said yes.

When we came out after shopping, I didn't see him.

I know Plan B isn't just about him "seeing" me, but it does get to him when he can't see me. He does get something from knowing where I am at that moment. Also, by having DDs meet me inside, I can have anyone pick them up and WH wouldn't know and then couldn't throw a fit that I wasn't specifically there. I would only have someone else pick them up if absolutely necessary, I think it is important that I am there for DDs.

Good for you!!! I love that you kept outta sight!

He told me a while ago that Bab's "does everything I want her to". What the heck is that? Who wants someone that does everything exactly when and how you say it? That's not a partnership.

And....I don't believe it for a second. I hear about how much housework he does now (according to her BH she was big on 50/50 and dictated how and when the housework was done). Bab's and WH wash dishes together, ain't that sweet? Last weekend DDs said WH was mowing the lawn and cleaning the carpets that day. The whole handwashing issue... it doesn't sound to me like she does what he wants. I think he does what she wants, when she wants, and how she wants. Welcome to paradise and freedom!

That's why I know she will destroy him. She will keep him in such an uproar about me that he will eventually just get exhausted and hit bottom because he can't hang on anymore. It will come. They can only sustain this so long before it is just too much work.



I think Mother's Day will go ok. Father's Day isn't too ar away and he won't want to mess with that. I plan to make it a very busy day and do things all of us enjoy. It's not just about honoring the mother, it's about mothers appreciating being a mother, too.

Hope all you mothers out there have a great day.

"It's not just about honoring the mother, it's about mothers appreciating being a mother, too."

I couldn't agree more...