So how did it go this weekend wild? Hopefully drama free.

Good morning! Mother's Day was great. WH dropped DDs off as agreed. I was inside the store again. I called DD13 and told her to drop their bags in my truck and then come in. We chatted for a minute then hung up.

Then WH called me. He still had DDs, so I answered. He said he just wanted to know what side of the store to drop DDs off on (I had told DD13 when I spoke with her just seconds before), then he told me that "we" have been putting peroxide on DD12's foot (she scraped her foot while playing with friends on Friday). I started to ask him about bear hunting (he took DD12 on Saturday), but I stopped midsentence and he immediately started talking. When he was finished with whatever he told me (sorry, can't remember it all, it was just chit chat about DDs), he said "sorry, I interrupted you. What were you going to say?" I said "oh, nevermind, I was going to ask about bear hunting but I'll talk to DD12." WH: "oh, ok. Well, have a good day" He was so friendly and upbeat. Nice tone of voice....like the old H.

Had a really good day with DDs, my mom, two of my sisters, one BIL, and one nephew. We went swimming at a hot springs resort (DDs LOVE to go there).

I actually wore a bikini in public for the first time in my LIFE!

Then we went to a couple of old ghost towns, wandered around, took pictures, went for a LONG drive. We were silly all day. After we got home and started taking care of they typical chores of getting ready for the next day, DD12 stepped in front of me, took my face in her hands, and said "Happy Mother's Day". She did it kind of silly but it really touched me. On the way home she had asked "so, did you have a good Mother's Day." I gave her a big smile and said, "of course, I did. I was with you two." She said "good, me too."

We were out of cell service most of the day so there were no interruptions from WH. DD12 called him about 8:30pm. He had gone out to lunch and shopping. I don't know if it was with Bab's or his mother or both. He's shopping. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Bab's BH got a call from Bab's this morning. Poor guy has been out of town since last Tuesday, just got back late last night and she call this morning to rip him up one side and down the other. Spewing more crap about me...telling him I borrowed his truck and did not bring it back. She didn't know he was back and could look out his window and see his truck there. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Then when he said "What are you talking about? I'm looking out the window at it right now?", she went off on him because she didn't know he was back. Why didn't he tell her? blah blah blah She had her son so why does she need to know where her BH is? I'm sure she was mad because he caught her in a lie (again).

It's interesting how different Bab's and WH act on certain days. He calls me being nice and friendly yesterday, then she calls her BH and she's pi$$ed. Still insisting that I'm moving in with him and I'm going to take 1/2 his stuff, etc, etc. The man has been out of town for almost a week, what brought this tirade on? None of this was mentioned by WH to me ...it was strictly talk about DDs.

Sounds like a good weekend, Fox. Great that you had such a good time with the girls, and that WH wasn't a total [censored] for a change. I'm happy for you!

Babs is nuts. It's only a matter of time before WH figures it out.

I agree with SD... Babs is nuts.

I'm so glad you and your girls had such a good time!!! I think the fact he was "chit-chatty" with you was interesting... ulterior motives or just needing a wild fix? Hard to say...

I was thinking along the same lines. But I'm not sure what he has to gain RIGHT NOW by being so nice. Maybe he was just checking to see if I was the one who came to pick DDs up. Maybe he thought I sent my sister in with my truck and horse trailer to get them. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Is he verifying that it is me that is there to pick them up? If so, why? He could talk to DDs later and find out for sure.

I think it bothers him that I have him send DDs into the store to meet me and he doesn't see me waiting for him/them.

He'll get to see me on Tuesday and Wednesday, though. DDs have concerts. It'll be nice when summer is here and we don't have so many things to attend as parents. But then we'll have to battle it out about DDs summer schedule. He wants every other week, I DO NOT!

Then I wonder if he didn't call because it was Mother's Day and I am the mother of his children. I would hope so, but I doubt it. He was never big on getting me a gift and very seldom ever a card. Just as an after thought at some point during the day "oh, yeah, happy Mother's Day". Usually after I reminded him to call HIS mother, or after one of DDs told me.

I'll probably never know the reason he was nice.

It's pretty sad, sdguy, when we think a good interaction with our waywards is when "they aren't complete [censored]". <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

He want's the DD's to rotate weeks at his house and your house?? Wouldn't DD's hate that much time with Babs?

Yes, that is what he wants. DD13 is dead set against it. I had suggested one week per month in the summer, but DD13 doesn't want that either. The schedule we have now (two evenings a week and every other weekend) is just fine with her, although she is not thrilled with the every other weekend part of it, either.

What is to keep you from getting a temporary court order spelling this all out and keeping Babs from being around DD's?

I tried to get that fairly early on, hopeandpray, but my lawyer said unless she was an actual physical threat to my children, I couldn't do anything about it.

Also, according to my lawyer, there is no point in getting an emergency court order because even an "emergency" takes time. Our final date would be done before an "emergency" date would get scheduled.

I REALLY wish that I was able to do this. But in a way, it's an advantage that DDs have met her...when it comes to telling a judge what they want, they will know. They won't have their own fantasy about what Dad's house is like, they already know and will have opinions on whether they want to be there or not.

So, they will be able to tell the judge what they want? I mean... they are old enough. I just didn't know if their feelings/opinions would be considered in the courts.

That's great news if so.

Yes, the judge will talk to them about what they want. I am conflicted about this, too. On one hand, their thoughts are important and should be included in the decision. On the other hand, what child should have to go to court and talk to a judge about their parents and chose what they want?

What a horrible position for them to be in.

Yes and no...I may make them feel very important that their voice is being heard and that what they have to say matters.

MB

No child! But that's not the way it is. A child of a certain age KNOWS what goes on behind the scenes-- not always necessarily the face the parents present to the Court. A GOOD judge knows the right things and the right way to ask and will rely on recommendations of advocates for the children. In Texas they're called guardian ad litems (GALS). But the kids ARE heard and their input is valuable to the Court's decision.

Freakin' no-fault states. I heard the same thing from my lawyer (and the court-appointed mediator). "The court won't interfere in her personal life. . . ."

MyBad and princessmeggy,

I hope this gives them a sense of empowerment and doesn't just intimidate the heck out of them. I hope they are both strong enough to say what they REALLY want.

I believe both DDs know exactly what is going on. DD12 is trying to deny it a little longer. She was somewhat closer to H and has more of the same interests as he does, whereas, DD13 and I are more similar in our interests.

Bab's and WH fought in front of DD12 on more than one occasion. That will make a lasting impression and if Bab's and WH are still together by the time DDs talk to the judge, I'm sure it will have had an effect on her and will be reflected in her decision.

WH has no idea that if he had moved out and was living on his own, DDs would have a much different opinion of him and would be more willing to spend time with him. As it is now, he brings Bab's everywhere when they are with him and they don't like it at all. No matter how hard he tries, he has to split his time between Bab's and DDs. They do no get is undivided attention and then don't feel as though they are special to him.

Sick and sad but typical, I think.

Isn't it just amazing, sdguy? I wanted to scream each time I heard that phrase.

I also heard it from the CEO of WH company when I exposed. He sent me an email to stop sending emails to him as "WH personal life is none of our business" WTF?! He brought someone from that company into MY and DDs personal lives!

Cop-out, that's what it is. No-fault is crap. In this kind of situation, there is absolutely fault. There should be consequences from the courts. They're going to walk away scot-free as far as the courts are concerned.

I've considered looking into how to get that changed in my state. Wouldn't Bab's and WH love being a public service announcement for the effects divorce and adultry have on children?

Little trigger, maybe? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Oh, I agree. There is absolutely fault, and it is clear where it lies. And everyone knows it, too. Chances are, the judge would agree with you--it shouldn't be this way, but this is the way it is, and there's nothing they can do about it. Or maybe that would take too much energy--for them to wade into the details and figure out exactly who's at fault. I don't know.

It's just one example of how One-Size-Fits-All laws don't work all that well.

The CEO doesn't want to hear about it, because then he might have to do something about it, and God forbid he should actually have to discipline someone or hold them accountable for their actions. Secretly, he probably does want to hear about it because people love gossip. The not wanting to hear is about not taking action. If you want to hit the CEO where it hurts, threaten to sue them, because that's what they're REALLY afraid of.


Adultery isn't a crime. Or not in this state, anyway. I guess mentioning to waywards what happens to adulterers in some other cultures probably wouldn't be helpful.