Remember... it's like the old saying "a watched pot never boils". Don't hold your breath waiting for their impending doom. Live life to the fullest with your head held high. Things have a way of working themselves out for the best. If he's meant to be with babs and have her carry his [email]b@lls[/email] around in a little pink purse, perhaps THAT is his punishment. (I still recall the whole handwashing incident... she treats him like he's a 5 yr old.)

I imagine having friends act like nothing has happened is probably pretty normal these days. Most people don't like confrontation and just go along with it. They figure what is between you and WH is between you and WH. I know it is easier said than done... but don't take it personally.

Ahh, Fox, I'm so sorry. "That really sucks" doesn't really cover it, but that's a lot of what I have to offer.

Other than that you know who you are. You know what you have done. You know where that puts you in terms of karma.

You know who WH is, and you know who H is. You know how far WH has fallen, and his daughters know, and your friends know, and somewhere deep inside he knows. That will eat at him, either consciously or subconsciously, maybe for the rest of his life. And you know who and what Babs is and more importantly what she is not--a good mother, like you.

In the mean time, you will continue your journey in the light--you will be happy and contented because of how you have conducted your life. You will get there.

Big trigger. It sounds like you're dealing with it as well as can be expected. If you need more help, there's still gas in the batmobile. I can come hold WH while you try to kick his b#$%s out through the top of his head.

(((((((Fox)))))))

If he tries to push for more visitation or a change in the current schedule or worse yet takes it upon himself to change the status quo then immediately take him to court and file for temporary placement and restricted visitation that keeps Babs from being around children.

Good morning, all! I really appreciate all the encouragement. I talked to M last night (for over an hour). I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER!!!

Their visit to WH didn't happen as it appeared to me and was incredibly uncomfortable. Not something M and R are willing to repeat anytime.

As I said, M works for WH right now (although told him yesterday she is planning on leaving) and had GREAT inside information. No, not very Plan B, but the info REALLY made me feel better, not worse.

I got the whole story on what happened the day I sent the exposure letter to WH's employer. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

M and I are reconnecting and it feels great to know the people you thought were your friends, really are.

And her husband, R, asked WH some really great questions and put him on the spot. Not that it did any good....yet. R is one of the few people in WH life that will tell him like it is and tell him when he is being an idiot. Glad to know R is still the same, and so is M.

More on the convo later.....

hopeandpray,

Don't want you to think I'm ignoring you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Your last post to me mentioned a book about sociopathic behavior. I did look into that and while some things hit pretty close to WH overall, others have just surfaced since the A began. While some things were slight "tendencies", since the A, those tendencies have become actually a large part of the personality. I think, in general, waywards are sociopathic while they are waywards. Thank you for the information, it was very interesting.

Child transfer went well this last weekend and I don't really see any hiccups in the near future. I think WH is going to watch himself for the next couple of weeks until the final court date.

I'm positive I will receive an email from him this week. This coming weekend is Father's Day and it is "my" weekend. He'll be checking to see what we are doing.

I wish, I wish, I wish that I could restrict contact with Bab's through the judge. It just isn't going to happen in this state unless she is a direct physical threat.

15 days.................

See!!! Sometimes things are not as they appear.

So you got the dirt on what went down over your exposure letter?? Too funny!

PS - I wonder if your WH will do something alone with DD's or if the bodysnatcher will be involved in Fathers Day too. What an insecure leech she is...

Yeah, I should have known better. But I have this little trust issue now....... If H could turn on me, who can't?

Still thinking so poorly of myself at times that I don't believe R&M valued my friendship. But they do. And that gave me a good self - esteem boost.

Instead of expecting the best from people and getting disappointed, I expect the worst and immediately jump to the conclusion that no one cares.

LilSis has been writing about this on her thread recently and I can soooo related.

About Father's Day: I am certain Bab's will be involved. I really don't think he will spend time with just DDs. Bab's father has passed away, WH father has passed away, they have nothing else. WH won't leave her home alone, her son will be with MOW H. And Bab's is soooooo great, DDs won't mind, right? Or not....

Fox

That's great, Fox. I was feeling really bad for you, especially after how you posted on LS's thread about wanting to reconnect with these people, so I am very happy to hear your news.

We all tend to assume the worst--that the waywards are all happy in what they are doing, but I think that this is likely not the case.

Well, that didn't take long. WH didn't even wait until the end of the week before emailing me about Father's Day. Just received his email



His tone seems to have changed lately. Ploy for court? Probably. At least it is easier to work out visitation when he isn't throwing wild accusations and his "rights" around.

I'm not sure why he thinks he would keep them overnight on Sunday night. It's just like a holiday...when they are returned to me at 8:00pm. It does not include that night.

My response to him will be:

"I am agreeable to DDs spending Father's Day with you and using the same pick up time as Mother's Day (9:00am) at XXXX. They will need to be returned to me that night (Sunday) at 8:00pm. Just like any other holiday that they spend the day with you."



After talking to M, I KNOW this is not the case. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Dang girl, you must have gotten some REALLY good dirt from M!!!

I don't see either why they would need to spend the night with him. 9am-8pm is plenty of time to do something with them. It's YOUR weekend. It'll be nice once you've been to court and none of this has gray areas for you to muddle thru. It will all be spelled out for you. Of course, it is always good to keep the word compromise in mind, you never know when you'll need a favor too! I don't see how this is one of those situations though. He is getting them for the day.

I sometimes wonder if waywards that get together become determined to prove to everyone that they can make it, even though they are miserable and not really sure they made the right choice. Crow is not a tasty dish...

I had a little snack of a Dove chocolate this morning. Inside the wrapper it said "There's a time for compromise...it's called "later".

I think it is kind of fitting at the moment. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Quite a few little tidbits that bumped me up again just enough that I am back to being CONVINCED that WH and Bab's will not survive together. I'll share those a little later. I'll start with the exposure email that was sent to WH employer and then give you the view from the "inside".



After I found out who she was I sent a follow up:



Here is how WH day was going according to M (via R, her husband):

WH was out of town at the corporate offices for training. I knew he was there but was unaware that all the managers were going through "stress tests". WH had already completed his and passed. (Must have been because he was still in the "honeymoon" phase of the A). R was there also and was going through the same tests. WH supervisor "J" was there also doing the test and had checked his email. Mine was there and he read it. J called in R. I'm not exactly sure what J and R were getting out of it, but they told WH he needed to take the test again. Hooked him up to the machines, heart monitor, blood pressure monitor, etc. AND SHOWED HIM THE EMAIL! His blood pressure went through the roof. Let's just say....he didn't pass it that time.

I got a voicemail shortly after telling me "You BETTER f'ing call me back". I called him back and got HIS voicemail and left a very cheery message telling him I was returning his call and hoped he was having a great day. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

He never did call me back to discuss it. But it comes up via Bab's and her BH every once in a while.

Timing.....timing is everything. I would LOVE to see those test results! At least he felt SOMETHING.

I didn't get all the dirty details from M last night because R was giving her grief not to talk about it and to stay out of it. R had called M after the email thing and said "YOU CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED TODAY!" and then told her the whole story. I don't imagine he expected her to end up sharing it with me. But what're friends for?!

I understand where he is coming from, though. It is a very awkward place to be between the two of us. R has to work with WH every day and deal with him. And R cheated on M MANY years ago...one night stand kind of thing. I think he is a bit concerned this brings stuff back up for M. She was so good about telling me how strong I am and how impressed she is with how I am dealing with things.

Part of my email yesterday to M said "please don't believe everything you've heard about me". Last night M said it was funny I wrote that because every time she hears something about me, she thinks "you go, girl!"

Gotta love M! And she also told me a few things that R had told WH, so as much as R wants to stay out of it, he did give his .02 cents and it wasn't in agreement with WH. More on that later.....still trying to get work done.

M said that WH walks around the office always looking VERY unhappy. Looking down, just taking care of business. No chit chatting, no humor. The facts and only the facts.

M started working there two months ago, on her first day WH told her the WHOLE situation (his version). M did not agree with his behavior and told him how sad it was. The next day, M sliced her finger open and needed stitches. WH took her to the hospital. On the way there, WH continued the conversation and M told him again how sad it was and how horrible it is for DDs. And told him how big a fool he is. WH has not talked to her about it since....or anything else not associated with work. She says he is a complete stranger, a different personality. NOT who they have known for so many years, either.

WH also talked to M's husband, R, about it. R asked WH what the "f" he was thinking. And told WH how sad his DDs looked. And that he was making a HUGE mistake.

M had told WH that I was a very strong woman and that I would make sure that DDs and I have a great life. While WH was heading downhill.

M says the reason she wants to leave the company WH works for is because she is just really uncomfortable with the environment. People talking about inappropriate things, sexual jokes, etc. One of the discussion that made her uncomfortable was with the CEO's girlfriend (aka CEO's A partner) talking about one night stands and a certain customer of M's that was supposedly interested in M.

Huh! I'm really glad you heard from M, and that it has turned out so well for you.

No, not very Plan B, but whatever gets you through the day, my friend! I would also very much welcome news that all was not peachy keen in Turdville, and I would also welcome knowing that some of those "old friends" or even someone in his family backed me up. So you got a double dose of something good!

So...yes...Gotta love M!! Isn't it great to know that someone is really, truly on your side?

Hey, Sis! Yup, double dose of stuff I needed to hear to get me back to where I needed to be.

M also told me that when WH was talking to R about it and spouting off about me at the rodeo with MOW H and that I talk to MOW H, etc, etc., R asked WH "what do you care, WH, you left her and are living with another woman. Are you jealous? Do you still love her?" To which WH spat and sputtered and insisted that was not the case, he just didn't think I should be "judging him" when I am doing the same thing.

LMAO... he didn't like his flawed logic being thrown back in his face, did he? I like R and M already!! If only more people were like that!

My faith in people has been somewhat restored. M & R are good people.

M also said that Bab's and WH had a bit of a discussion about DD12 and Bab's S7. R&M had their 3 boys and a neighbor boy with them...that makes 7 kids and 4 adults in a house that is not all that big. The kids went outside to play and Bab's S7 came in the house, went to his room, and slammed the door behind him. M was concerned one of her boys said something mean so sent one of them in to invite Bab's S7 back out to play. Bab's came in and kicked M's son out so she could talk to him.

Eventually Bab's returned to R&M and WH. She told WH that our DD12 was calling her S7 "obnoxious" again.
WH didn't say much of anything and Bab's pushed him and told him he needed to talk to DD12 again. WH told her that her S7 would be fine and he was just being a baby, and DD12 hadn't hurt him. Bab's told WH that "you can hurt someone just as much with words as you can with fists". WH didn't respond and he did not say anything to DD12. Bab's was annoyed.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Ha, ha, ha! Oh, that's priceless. Chickens coming home to roost??

Wasn't that a nice juicy piece of intel? Thank you, M. Can you imagine R and M during this little exchange, checking their fingernails, examining the ceiling, suddenly fascinated by the artwork on the wall, thinking, WTF, who is this RBB, anyway and what zoo did she escape from?!? and can we leave yet??

Again, not Plan B, but THIS kind of news is much deserved entertainment, like a big glass of lemonade on a hot day.

Refreshing.

Lemme see..... how does it go?

[color:"red"] EGG ZAK LEE!!!! [/color]

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />