Man I hate this for the selfish wayward that thinks Bab's is worth more than his family and if he had the money would be spending it on her dumb butt. I hope he's eating from an Alpo can when this is over, personally.

Hi Fox,

Do you record all the times WH paid CS with dates and amounts?


You can bet you A$$ I would be sure the judge knows that these are the things he is telling your DDs concurrent with a list of dates times and amounts of what was actually paid by him in CS comparing it to what you have paid out for all activities, clothes and cost of living expenses etc. This has [color:"red"]ABUSE[/color] written all over it!!

MAN, That just pi$$e$ me off for you and DDs!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

How freakin foggy can one get?

MB

Hopeandpray, I hope ALPO is too expensive for him when this is all said and done.

MyBad, Yes, I record all the times WH has paid CS with dates and amounts. Doesn't take much time at all....he's only paid twice since October, and 1/2 of what he should have paid in September and October.

The judge will absolutely be aware of these things. WH is going to be in the hole so far by the time this is done, it'll take him 15 years to climb out.

I've considered showing DDs my budget. Might be a good idea for them to be aware of how much is coming in compared to how much goes out and what is left. They have no clue how much their camps cost and what I have to do to make sure they are able to go. I don't want them to worry about money but it may just alter DD12's entitlement a little bit.

Fox

I think it is a good idea to widen the kids' horizons when it comes to the finances. Maybe have them write down what they think things cost. Make a list and have them fill it in. For instance, jeans, shirts,general clothing, groceries, daily lunch, gas, then utilities. Have them fill in what they think you may be paying. Then, have them write down how much they believe that you earn from your job, as well as CS, or other net income.

You can then make the same list, with actual numbers. Instead of bombarding them with negatives, give this as more of an assignment; in how the world actually works as opposed to a perception.

My mother didn't do this, but she did talk about finances when I was a pre-teen, teenager. I went out and started doing odd jobs to buy myself things, stuff that I wanted. My mother still footed the bill for most everything, but I learned that money most definitely has no tree from which it falls.

I agree with SL. I was thinkin' the same thing. I raised four kids and they learned early on the cost of things. I was determined not to make the same mistakes my parents did. Growing up Mom just pulled out the credit card for whatever we wanted. I didn't have a clue.

It was really bad. When I was 18 and had my first checking account, I would call the bank to check my balance and they would tell me the amount showing. I (in my ignorance of financial matters) would scratch out the balance I had written in and wrote the balance they gave me. I would be so excited that I had more money than I thought! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I learned the hard way. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

That's a really cool idea, SL. It sounds perfect for Fox's girls.

Aw, shucks guy smiley. Thanks bunches. I've always thought that, at a certain age, kids should be made more aware of reality, and finances is a hugely misunderstood subject in the teenage years, in general.

Hey Wild!! Sorry to hear about your court date getting pushed back. It seems to keep happening to you!

I'm not surprised to hear about your WH and Bab's fighting a lot. As her money wears out, I suspect it will get worse. Also, he's broke because he buys things like 4-wheelers and bumper boat thingy's, not because of his child support. Plus, what did he think? That he could just up and move out on you guys and not have to pay support? It's the LAW dumbarse! Your WH is just upset because it costs a lot to maintain two households, especially when you make stupid impulse purchases. Boofreakinghoo. That's not you or your DD's doing. It is on him. I can't believe he's telling your DD's that kind of crap. But, I think it's common for men in your WH's position to do that. It's not he first time I've heard of such behavior.

I think you should sit your DD's down and show them the finances. They are old enough. We tell our 13 yr old DD how much the mortgage, and car payments are and such. We want her to have an appreciation for how much things cost and how you have to work hard for them. She works around the house for us and my inlaws to make extra money. She mows the lawn and does housework. She then uses that money to buy "extras" that she really wants. I'm glad she does this because she earns the items thru hard work.

Anyway, I hope you are doing well today!

Good morning, everyone.

Thanks for all the great advice. I'm pulling a list together today to go over with DDs regarding expenses, etc. I keep my financial information on Money and I'm considering having DDs enter the information in with me. They could switch each month and take turns entering it in. Then they can see how it works and also be able to enter in any money received from WH. Then they will see that there is no money from WH....I won't have to say it.

Thanks for all the input and support. I dont' want DDs to worry about money but I think it is important that they have an apprecation for what's happening right now and how difficult it is to balance everything and still make sure they have their camps, etc.

Hey, keep posting about the affair imploding and how they argue and stuff. Not to the point of pumping the girls for details just so you can post it, but it's therapeutic for me to read about what we all expected to happen happening.

Weeeeeeellllll, since you asked.....

WH took DDs (and Bab's Ds7) to a small local lake this past weekend to use the boats that Bab's was upset with him for buying. Bab's went also. The kids played around in the boats for awhile. DD13 said Bab's and WH did not speak to each other AT ALL and did not sit by each other when the kids were playing in the water. When the kids got out, Bab's asked DDs if they wanted to go for a walk around the lake. They thought WH was going to so they said "yeah, I guess". Then Bab's went to WH and asked if he wanted to go, too. DDs thought "<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> He better go, we don't want to go with just her!" But....WH gave her a dirty look and said "no, I don't". DDs pestered and pestered and finally talked WH into going too. So DDs and WH start walking with Bab's and DS7 followed. With Bab's DS7 running all over. DD13 said eventually they were walking WAAAAY ahead of Bab's and WH was still not talking to her.

Awwww....poor little lover's spat. I feel soooo bad. NOT!

Unfortunately, something happened with ME that brought them back to a united front. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> WH took Bab's outside away from the kids to tell her all about it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Fox

You will not always be around to unite against and then they will have to look at each other's pathetic selves and know that they screwed their miserable lives up and hurt everything they once said they loved in the process of something that was a fantasy, a lie. Will be tough to be them in about 3 years if not sooner, imo.

Much sooner!

Hi Cowgirl!!!

Howdy!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I'd be surprised if they can hang on through the rest of this year. They are both stubborn, but selfish enough still that one of their TAKERS is going to be ticked off at not being able to TAKE as much as they need. Fireworks should be good by then.

I'm in an odd spot right now, emotionally. I REALLY don't think I want him back at all. It feels like there is just way too much to fix between us and I'm not sure he would ever be willing to do as much work as it will take. And I just don't like him anymore, let alone love him.

But notice how I said "REALLY" and don't "think" in the same sentence, there is no positive in there yet.

The goal that I am POSTIVE about is that Bab's and WH turn on each other. I want them to cause each other pain. The pain that her BH and I have been through. Although, it can never match what I have felt, I want WH to feel a little bit of it. And I want Bab's to cause it. And I want her to feel it and have WH to be the cause of it.

It's coming........I KNOW it's coming.

Fox

DD13 also says that WH doesn't seem to care about work at all anymore. Takes multiple days off. She said he plays is stereo really loud and makes his whole office thump with the base. He has been asked on numerous occassions to turn it down.

Sounds like someone is sabotaging himself.......

Work used to be WH #1 priority, at the cost of everything else. I spent many hours at night with him helping him do reports, etc. He would stress for days before a big meeting. Now....he doesn't care. Bab's is the #1 priority.

Oh, I don't think Bab's is the #1 priority...I think HE is his #1 priority.

Hi Cowgirl!

I was just passing by and thinking of you. Check in sometime and let us know how you are doing.

I hope you had a great 4th!

just read through the last few pages of this thread...

wild ~ what is your goal here on these boards? are you looking for divorce support or are you trying to save your marriage?

Post deleted by familycomesfirst

Hey Fox,

I hope you and DD's had a chance to get out for a little 4th of July trail ride. My family tends to do that every year!

Happy Trails!