"I get riled up way too easily and sidetracked from the purpose for which I choose to still come here."

You are not the only one.

If you are truly interested in helping Wild, then please do so. I have NO DESIRE to discuss anything further with you. I will put you on ignore if necessary.

As you wish.

.

I agree with this statement, so long as this is how Bab's has ALWAYS been with him. Maybe, initially, she lavished him with admiration, ATTENTION, and with that, he may have made the decision to leave his family. I don't know him well enough to assert this theory; it will take Fox filling us in as to the environment before any OW was in the picture. Finding out WHEN things really got siderailed is pretty important in figuring out what part the BS played in the marriage going downhill.

We can work on OURSELVES, and I think this is where BR, Mimi, and others are coming from. I know this is where I am right now, working on me. I can tell you that I do see a difference in PWC's demeanor, even since this past weekend. I am not focused on him so much as working on me, sort of like Plan A, but without all of the emotional anguish from attempting to break an ongoing A.

Fox, it sounds like people here, regardless of writing style, are trying to get you to turn that mirror on yourself, and be honest with yourself about what you can work on. NO ONE is excusing your WH's behavior; he's been a total a$$ to you and your family, with very destructive, entitled behavior.

When you 'give in' and help your WH with visitation issues, it is you being the MOMMY--not the wife. I've heard it said that this is even disrespectful (it was said to ME on a few occassions). When you two set up visitation, that is the time to iron anything out, after that, each of you is, basically, on your own. Sometimes I wonder if your WH's acting like a child, because he wants to be proven RIGHT, and fuel his entitled behavior. Every time that you argue with him, and try to assert that he is WRONG, you fuel that behavior.

I get the sense... and this is only what I've derived from wilds side of the story... that her WH has a strong desire to be justify his actions at any cost. He is determined to prove jumping from his marital home to the OW's marital home where Bab's WH's side of the bed hadn't even gotten cold yet, was a good idea. I imagine he had people telling him he was crazy, but he has that I'm gonna prove everybody wrong mindset, nevermind the fact he's miserable while doing it. That can only last so long before he runs out of steam.

Also, back when he was still communcating with Wild she would see glimpse of her H only to have WH return in full force and then some. I think that has to do with the fact he is living with Babs. One thing they are united on is tearing down Wild and Babs BH. They also despised the fact Wild and Babs BH had become friends. They acted as though they thought there was something romantic there, but I think it actually bothered them that Wild and the BH might be comparing notes on them. Turnabout is not fair play to them I guess? I mean, they compared notes on their spouses for how long??

Once she removed herself (plan B) they were left to focus on each other. From what wild has gathered, they are getting along worse and worse. WH continues to spend more than he has and Bab's savings is running out. When they start to go into the red... I'm betting the sh*t will really hit the fan.

I am curious... is it harder to plan A WS's who move right in with their AP?

Funny, you mention that familycomesfirst. When I posted this...



I wanted to add that his seeeming stubborness, from what Fox has posted about him in the past, could be a HUGE road block for him coming back. HIS need to be proven right would override the reality of the sitch and keep him rooted in poor soil.

I think it is harder to Plan A the spouse who leaves at all, but is compounded when he/she immediately shacks up with the OP. I had a really tough time with Plan A--I did attempt this (albeit prior to finding MB) after I found out about my PWC's first A; I tried and tried, and then he left, and I tried some more. He was not living with OW, but the OWH had moved out of HER home, leaving it available for them to be in together (she had no children). I was nothing to him at that time, just a problem to deal with, a side note in his life.

My personal take on that type of sitch is that it is much more difficult to get anything through. Also, being left in the lurch to do all of the 'family' business, the BS probably feels that much more resentment, making it difficult to be 'nice' and to heal. I was so angry then, and actually, thinking about it right now makes me a bit sad. I really had been erased, be it momentarily in the grand scheme, I was an unfortunate casualty to my WH's 'happiness'.

I wonder if Fox isn't suffering all of that resentment right now, reliving it and compounding it with her WH's continued poor behavior. This is why I suggested darkening that Plan B. It may help her to focus more on herself and healing, self-soothing. Because they have continued contact, and WH sticks it to her about the kids whenever he can, she has more and more wounds to care for; I think her cup overfloweth--with vial, putrid, noxious, fuming, chemical-based mung-fung.

I agree SL! 100000%

Sorry, guys, no time for an in depth post. Extremely good discussion going here.....I really want to continue this.

Probably won't happen until tomorrow, though. DD12 basketball camp, work, DD13 rodeo, work, DD12 basketball camp, work...etc, etc! Crazy busy today.

Thanks for hangin' in with me! I'll get back as soon as I can!

Fox

This is EXACTLY how I felt too, only I didn't have the good sense that God gave a goose about how to handle it. I would have LOVED to have found MB in those days to help me through it.

princessmeggy, I wish I had more sense at the time, too. I didn't find MB until a year into the mess, near the end of a 9 month long false recovery. When I think back on it now, I can't believe I let it go on that long. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know how to be nice, or self heal amidst all of the pain, PLUS PWC was engaged in an EA, with ANOTHER coworker, and I KNEW IT. It was killing me. I was so focused on him causing me pain, that I couldn't see past it.

I do now, and for that, I am grateful. If anything like this happens again, I'll have a better handle on what *I* need to do; my boundaries are firm, and I am not afraid to back them up with the IF/THEN boundary enforcement (I have no tolerance for infidelity anymore==if you cheat/I'm out!). I wonder how many couples deal with infidelity AGAIN, after endoctrinating MB principles into their lives. I guess it would take a personality disorder to topple MB.

Good morning, all! Please bear ( I almost wrote bare! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />) with me, I'm going to do a few back to back posts and try to address everyone from where I left off. Sorry it's taken so long.....life, you know?

So,



Aaahhh, mimi. This is the question, isn't it? Thank you for asking. I've been thinking I need to make a summary post. My thread is pretty long (600 and something pages when I printed it out) and I certainly don't expect anyone to go back through all of that again. It has been mentioned a couple of times that I had an attempt at recovery. That was never the case..... so I think I need to do a quick recap.

Summary post....on my list of things to do

As for where I am....

Honestly, I'm good right now. Had a couple of days that I let some anger carry me away. I did some things that I enjoy to bring me back to where I want to be. I feel really strong in my life, I struggle with the details at times, but all in all, strong.

More to do to continue, of course, but not terribly unhappy with how I've coped.

WH can take a hike right out of my life. I'm sick to death of his behavior, his treatment of DDs, his treatment of me, just everything about him. I'm done, absolutely done with this man. I need to work on how I deal with him in regards to DDs....but in regards to me? Done! I'm done trying to coax H out of there, done trying to look through WH to see H through the gunk of an alien.

Now....H, on the other hand... I would not be closed to having a R with H again. It would have to be an improved version of H, as I would expect myself to be an improved version of me. What happened, happened for a reason and I was a part of that.

Knowing I didn't cause his choice of an A, but knowing I contributed to the atmosphere that allowed an A to even BE a choice.

There was a moment that happened a couple of months (?) before the ILYBINILWY speech that has really stuck with me.

I was driving down the highway on the way to town with DDs on a Saturday. I had asked H to come with us...I think I was taking DD13 riding. W(?)H said he was going to a friend's house to work on something. Disappointed again, I took DDs by myself.

I remember thinking on that drive......"could/would it be better with someone else? would someone else care about me and want to be with me, since H doesn't" For some reason, that particular day I was more heartbroken at his refusal to join us then I was on most other times.

Did I say anything to H about it?

No

Why?

Because I felt he was so distant from me as it was, I felt if I had any kind of confrontation with him, he would be defensive and would only pull away more. And I felt I was being unreasonable...if he had something to do, he had something to do. It was just practice, after all. Except it had also been 100+ practices, dinners, lunches, movies, etc, etc before this 1 time.

I did nothing. And I regret that. That was one of my pieces of the breakdown. I wish I would have spoken up and not just decided that we hit a rough patch and although I was hurt, it would pass. I made excuses to myself for him. Too much work, too heavy burden from his mom, depressed, etc. So what did I do? Took on more myself, asked less of him because he was dealing with so much and I wanted him to be able to lean on me and know that I would help lessen the burden in any way that I could.

It backfired.

I ended up resenting this, I think mainly because I didn't feel he knew I was doing this and that he ended up taking advantage of it. And maybe he ended up resenting me taking some of his responsibilities, maybe he thought I didn't think he could handle it. Just guesses, as he has never said.

While I do not want WH in my life (DDs issues are a given), I think I would be willing to consider H in my life again. If he was truly H and wanted his family again.

Although, I must confess to having some thoughts about taking even WH back, if that opportunity came. Based solely on the fact that then DDs and I would have each other back full time. WH could spend time with them as he sees fit, just like he does now. And I could do the same, which I do not do now because I am limited by his "visitation". Not necessarily the healthiest thing to do, but it has been in the back of my mind. Just in case.....

To give you an answer as to how I am TODAY....not looking too far ahead to consider what I MIGHT do or not....

Today I am strong. My DDs and I are physically healthy, we have many happy stressfree times, I'm spending alot of time supporting them in their activities and life in general, and I take time for me. On the weekends they are gone, I get out, do things with my family or friends. I'm finally able to stay home by myself, too. I used to try to escape the house when DDs were gone, I'd find any excuse to get out because I was so lonely. That HUGE elephant was in the room and I bumped into no matter what I tried to do. Now I can be home, get things done there, or just hang out for awhile. Now there is a mouse where the elephant stood, still there, but much easier to get around.

Awhile back, I came to the realization that there IS a future without H and that I am/will be happy. HUGE realization for me. I real letting-go moment.

I see a fine line between letting go and giving up. I'm trying to let go, without completely giving up.

Life is good right now. Could be better, but it's still good. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />



Yeah, I kinda noticed this. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> I'd love to hear what you have to say, I've read and learned alot from your posts. Even when I thought you were being a bit harsh (not often, but on occassion - and only my perception of how I would have received the advice)

Since you were so upfront with me on your stance, I'd like to do the same with you.

I will hear you, I will consider what you say, and how you say it. Both of those things are important to me. To really learn something, I need to understand the whys of the direction I'm given. I may question, we may disagree (sometimes I play devil's advocate to reach that understanding), and than.....I may take the advice. Or I may not. But even if I don't take the advice as a whole, I may take a piece of it and make it work for me. Or I may just chuck it out the window...taking what I can use and leaving the rest. Please don't be offended by that, it doesn't mean I didn't hear your or didn't listen or didn't understand or won't use it in the future. Just may didn't apply in that moment.....

Kapeesh?

You're an asset here......

kinda like my left boo( )............t. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

What did you think I was gonna say? Were you thinking of other assets?? That GODDESSES have?

(hope you took that as I meant it, mimi. I can be a bit silly myself) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Thank you for dropping in.......I'll get to work on that recap.

I tend to make things a bit complicated....can you tell? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> You gave me three lines......and this is what YOU got! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Fox

I floundered for several months after D-Day, making all the typical mistakes because I didn't know better. Things might have been different if I had immediately launched into a solid Plan A (but they might not have, either), but I try not to beat myself up over it, because I was doing the very best that I could in extremely hurtful times.

It's worth keeping in mind. What we're trying to do is incredibly difficult.

I think this is one of the KEYS, SL. I think he excluded himself sometimes, I excluded him at other times, so then he was just......OUT. There were times I didn't even ask for his involvement, because I assumed he would refuse. Or he would accept when I offered but with a pi$$ poor attitude to where I wished I'd excluded him!

Now.....what do I do with that?



My mother was a horrible enabler (until the last few years after I was out of the house) it had escalated to where she felt UNSAFE when my dad was around. Drunk or otherwise.

He never struck her that I know of, but she said she felt incredible RAGE building and thought it would be coming if she didn't do something....

So maybe I enabled her enabling....fought her battles for her where I should have backed off and let her take her own lumps. Not even a consideration for me at that time....I saw her getting abused (not physically) and wanted to protect her. And, if I'm honest, I probably wanted to show my dad that he was WRONG...not that I was right, but that he was WRONG. And that WE would not lay down and be treated that way........although for the most part, we were. I had my own battles with him, not in defense of my mother but in defense of myself. Would I handle it differently now, looking back at that 11-17 year old child? Maybe.....but what EXACTLY I don't know.

I left at 17 and made my own life. As far out of that chaos as I could manage. Still in contact with my brother, sisters, and mother. I simply pitied my dad his pathetic life (especially after my mother left him). Until he got sick. And I didn't want him dying with any regrets...and OH, how I hoped he had regrets over his life with us. If he was willing to mend some fences, so was I.

He was not willing....not really. He died...and I have peace in my heart about it. I don't know if he did or not. I hope so, for his sake.



That DO IT MYSELF attitude didn't change a whole lot in me when I met H. I was proud of it and thought he was, too. I wanted to be his partner, not someone he needed to take care of. But then again, I've always waited for that other shoe to drop and made sure I stayed strong in order to get through it. Same self-fulfilling prophecy, maybe? Doing it myself because one day I would HAVE to?



I think this is true, too. But how in the world do you find the middle ground where I am strong and capable but H still feels needed? MUCH to work on here.

I'm going to post this so I don't lose it, but will come back to SL post in a little while.

Fox

I think my H stopped participating when I got pregnant with our first daughter.

He often would go to his parents house after work, eat dinner, hang out and watch tv. Eventually, come home. Usually after I was already in bed.

I was not ready to have children yet, I thought we needed more time for us...to see who WE were, before bringing children into it. He wanted children ASAP. I gave in. Once I was pregnant, he cut out for the most part. He helped here and there after they were born, but always at his discretion. I didn't see myself as having a choice, I HAD to take care of my children when they needed it.

I love my DDs and always have. I do not regret having them in the least. Just want to point out that this was the beginning......in my view, to his checking out of the family. We were young, maybe he was just frightened. Just as I was. He had family to run away to, I did not (or didn't think I did). His family enabled this type of behavior, I've often wondered why his folks didn't just send him packing when he would show up at their house for dinner without me.

I think it grew...he quit running to his parents as much but ran other places. To his buddys',to work, whatever. It always felt like he had somewhere else to be, than with us.

It wasn't always that way....but I can see now where he checked out on occasion.

H was offered a job transfer in CA. We lived there for a couple of years. H worked triple time, I worked regular time and took care of DDs. It was HARD, HARD, HARD. I HATED it. H was never home, we were broke most of the time, his company wanted to pay MT wages in CA. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> Lemme tell ya, that don't work. We did NOTHING as a family because he worked all the time. We'd go to dinner on occasion, he'd take his cell phone, and it wouldn't stop ringing and he wouldn't stop answering. So DDs and I essentially had dinner alone.

Shortly before "the" speech, he said he wished we were back there, where it was just us. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> WHAT?! I didn't say anything to him at the time because I "think" I knew where he was coming from. But I wouldn't go back to that for a million bucks!



I think you are right here, too, SL. He taught me to hunt, to shoot, all the stuff he liked I was willing to learn and to do. And actually enjoyed myself.

But where did that get me?

It's why I struggle with Bab's being in his life. She does not seem willing to do this stuff with him. She's barely willing to let him do it himself. Nothing has changed for the better for him in this case. It got worse.

Thanks for your insight, SL! We do seem to come from similar experiences and personalities.

Fox

Exactly, pm. This is how we were too. I would ask H to do something (or something would just need to be done), and he would get to it on his own sweet time. KNOWING if he waited long enough, I'd do it myself. Or DDs would do it.

I would get frustrated that, AGAIN I had ended up doing EVERYTHING. While he sat there KNOWING it needed to be done and choosing not to do it until he got around to it. (I know DJs all over in there). And he'd be frustrated because he "was gonna do it".

My guess is at the beginning of Bab's/WH fling, he THOUGHT she was strong yet needed HIM. He soon found out she isn't really strong as much as she is DEMANDING. She does NEED him to do things for her (because she won't not that she can't), but she DEMANDS that he meets those need. He didn't win there either.



I felt that I used to show him admiration and tell him when I was proud of him. But after awhile it didn't seem like he cared. Kind of like when your mom says something nice to you, you figure she HAS to because she is Mom. I thought he felt I HAD to say those things to him because I was his wife and I didn't really mean them or it just didn't mean that much to him that I am the one that said it.

That particular sentence, shows a lack of his respect for my opinion. (and maybe my lack of respect for my mother's opinion!)

Long ago, what I said to him was like the Gospel. And what he said to me was the same. How did that change? Just time.....or circumstances? Or just alot of other STUFF?

Fox

(ps. Thanks, pm! I really relate to these thoughts)

Post deleted by familycomesfirst

Yup, he checked out during pregnancy and after each of them were born. I was 19 when DD13 was born and 20 when DD12 was born. Back to back, definately. TONS of work then but well worth it now.

I don't want to make it look like he was never checked IN, because he was. He was a pretty good dad for most of those years. Until he checked out again...work became more important. It was always "buckle under and get through this and THEN things will be good" We never got past buckling under....there was always something else we had to buckle under and get through.

I really think this is where H was at, the feeling of being not appreciated. I was at that same place. So what are you SUPPOSED to do. What are the other choices to an A that you would have welcomed, fcf?

Thank you for your input. It's encouraging to see that it CAN get better when you both want it to.

Minor incident at DD12 b-ball game today. I'll have to talk about it tomorrow, I'm off to get DD13 to rodeo, help her, and then get to DD12 b-ball game tonight. Timing is pretty tight.

Rhetorical: Why does the man still doubt that I, as a mother, can be in 2 places at once? Or pretty darn close to once?

I can do it, and I will do it. His presence is not a replacement for mine.

Fox

I ask myself that a lot Wild. What else chould/should I have done. It wasn't a wise choice, yet it did make us face some issues and make some changes. I wouldn't recommend it though, much better to go to marriage counseling!! lol

I hope everything is okay... I saw your post about an incident at DD12's bball game. I hope he didn't need another wild bashing fix!

Thanks for the answer, fcf. I was trying to get more at whether you would have been receptive, immediately prior to the A, if your H had come to you and said something was wrong and he wanted to talk about it and do something about it. Or were you already checked out and untrusting of your H's ability to find a plan with you and stick with it?

I didn't mean to question your regret or whether or not you have looked back and tried to come up with other things you should have done. You're in Recovery....I'm sure you've done this work! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

The b-ball incident was pretty minor but there was interaction between us.

DD12 is away at basketball camp (at the local college, staying in the dorms, etc). There are games twice a day, one in the afternoon and one in the evening. There were none on Monday as it was check-in, etc. Game schedules were not posted until Tuesday (with a game Tuesday afternoon).

DD13 is spending the days this week with WH as he is off work. So I met WH before work on Tuesday morning and DD13 went with him for the day. About 10:30am, DD13 called and asked if I had talked to DD12. I told her no, I had not yet talked to her. Then DD13 asked if I knew when the game schedule would be posted. I didn't, but I assumed it would be sometime in the morning as there was a game in the afternoon. I told her I was going down at lunch to check.

WH had asked DD13 to call me to get this info (confirmed by DD13 later that night). Again, looking for a way to get information without making ANY effort himself. He was off for the day....had passed by the college twice and could have stopped...or called the college and asked THEM. I'm easier, I guess. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> I gave NO information as I knew this was what he was up to.

I checked the board at lunch, got all the games schedules and planned on attending the first one that afternoon.

I went to the first basketball game.....No WH or DD13.

When I got back to work after the basketball game, I get a call from DD13 asking if I had seen DD12. I said yes, I had. She asked where. I told her at DD12's game. She just said, oh. Then, where was it? I told her. She just said "oh" again. Then said she would talk to me later.

After work I met WH and picked up DD13 from him. DD13 got in the truck and said "where is DD12?" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> I said "at camp". She said "oh, well Dad thought there was a game here at 5" I told her it wasn't, it was at 6:30. She then went on to say that WH thought it was at 5 and that he was already making excuses about how he wasn't going to make it because he "had stuff to put away". <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> Putting stuff away is more important than your DDs games? After he had emailed me and told DD12 that he would be at EVERY game? There were 2 that day, he missed both.

DD12 doesn't even ask about it. But she is aware..... and I'm sure it hurts. I take her something every time. A few pieces of candy, the requested extension cord, a postcard, whatever I can think of. She's seems to be happy and having a good time. Learning alot and enjoying it, too.

Fast forward to Wednesday at the afternoon b-ball game. WH and DD13 were already there when I got there. I walked over by DD13 (they were sitting on the only bench), she was sitting on the end of it.

WH actually scooted down so I could sit. I sat next to DD13. (WH had VERY clean hands, BTW, Bab's must have checked him before he left the house. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />)

Anyway, game ends and DD12 comes over. We each speak with her....I told her I would be a few minutes late for the game that evening because DD13 had a barrel racing competition. DD12 says "no problem, see ya when you get here".

WH looks at me somewhat incredulous.

WH: "You're going to do both? You can't do both. How are you going to get DD13 done with barrels and still make it to DD12's game by 7:30? I don't think you can do both. Since you are going with DD13, I'll be here for DD12"

(This is where I get the "he's not my replacement" thought)...and.....I didn't trust him to actually be there. What if he didn't show? Then NEITHER of us would have been there. I would be off with DD13 and he would be off with Bab's.

Fox: "I can do it. It'll be tight, but I can do it. That's why I told her I could be a couple minutes late, but I'll be here."

WH: "Do you really think you can make it?" (He didn't say this unkindly, more amazed that I thought I could fit it in)

Fox: "I'm positive I can make it. I'll just see if RV (at the competition) will roll DD13 up so she can run first and then we can leave right away. Shouldn't be a problem"

WH: "Oh, do you think they'll do that?

Fox: "I'm sure...they're mothers, too"

WH: (I can see the wheels start turning in his head) Slowly, he says "oh" Then a pause "well, if you can get her to run early, will you have DD13 call me and let me know and I will come, too"

DD13 was right there. Why didn't he ask her to do that?

Fox: "Sure" (with no intention of doing so, DD13 heard him and can make the choice to let him know or not)

More.......

I headed back to work for another hour and DD13 went with WH until I got off of work.

I arrived at the agreed meeting place right after work. WH and DD13 were not there. I knew this schedule was going to be tight and I needed to stick with my plan so I could get it all done. So I thought....is he doing this on purpose? To make sure that I can't get both done? Which only strengthen my resolve to get it done.

I waited for 15 minutes and called DD13 cell phone. No answer.

I waited a few more minutes.....pondering....should I or shouldn't I?

So...I call his cell phone. No answer.. just the vm that says in a VERY crabby voice "I'm not answering, leave a message" Nice, very nice. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I didn't leave a message.

A few minutes later, they pulled up. DD13 apoligized and said they weren't watching the time.

So...it was off to the races! Got the trailer hooked up and loaded up and back to the fairgournds we went. I have to be VERY selective where I park to make sure I can get out. My horse trailer is 37 feet long, so I need some room to manuever. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

DD13 got busy saddling, etc and I went and signed her in. Normally, it's a draw situation. Whatever you draw is where you run. I figured I'd draw first and then sweet talk the secretary of I needed to. I draw #2...close enough.

DD13 called WH to let him know. No encouragement or discouragement from me.

He just barely made it....pulled up right before she was running in the gate. EXCELLANT run for DD13. Probably won some money off of that one.

We had a bit of a catastrophe before WH got there. DD13 split her pants. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> It was actually funny.....but it was another darn thing trying to throw my SuperMom cape off! So...I called in the troops. My little sister ran to the store and brought DD13 some shorts for afterwards! She didn't make it before DD13s run. Which is ok....it encouraged her to keep her butt in the saddle! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Her horse is a bit of a handful at the gate so I have to help her in a bit. That makes it hard for me to see how her run really was since I'm all the way back at the gate!

I had walked away from the gate (below the bleachers a bit) trying to see better. I didn't realize WH was up there until I hear his voice. He starts giving me a blow by blow of her run.

When she finishes, he asks "is this arena smaller than the ones she usually runs in?"

Fox: "No, it's actually bigger"

WH: "Oh, that was a REALLY good time then."

Which it WAS!

He speaks to DD13 for a quick minute, then leaves.

DD13 and I go back to the trailer....she runs to the truck so no one sees her split pants, waiting for my sister to get there with some other clothes. I take care of her horse for her..unsaddle, load up, etc. Little sister shows up, gives DD13 shorts and off we go again.

Drove up to DD12's game (Little Sister came, too). We were only late by 5 minutes! Minimal points scored on both sides and DD12 had not even played yet! YEAH! Horse had to stand in the trailer for 45 minutes, but it was cooler in there than it was in her pasture. She was pleased. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

DD13 had a GREAT run and DD12 had a GREAT game and they won, too!

So....to make a long story short ( <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />) and to answer WH's question....Yeah, I can do it.

Fox