I read somewhere on here that papa3 is a good example of what not to do. I've been trying to search it but haven't found anything.. any ideas? I feel that I need to read this because I think sometimes that I'm taking my husband's repentant attitude and throwing it right back in his face and just flushing his proffered love down the toilet. It's out of anger and hurt, yes, but still, it's so very wrong and if I don't find a way to stop, I could be the reason our marraige ends!

SG:

You may have to search for "papaof3" not "papa3"

Just a thought.

Are you in IC?

Are you seeing a MC?

Are you on ADs?

It's perfectly natural for you to still be struggleing w/ your hurt/angry feelings.

What you have to learn to do is STATE your anger not SHOW it.

Don't give yourself permission to love bust your H.

Don't try to suppress your hurt or angry feelings, b/c that will just make them harder to control.

The next time you get angry. Say out loud, "I'm feeling anger right now." Simply stating your feeling helps to take the feeling down a notch. Then ask yourself why am I feeling this way? What are the things you're telling yourself at those moments? Are they all true?

Is something triggering your feelings? If that's it say so. "I'm feeling angry right now b/c such and such is triggering the A for me right now."

When you are able to own your own feelings (not blame your H for them.) it will help you to own your behavior as well.

I hope this helps.

~ Marsh