And I don't have the heat or the personality to push the subject on a 6 moth pregnant person (now with some minor complications), and probably even more after the baby is born"
make that "probably" a "definately".
if you can figure out a way to bring up whatever it is you need, "gently"... do it now.
Not just because you will have even less of an opportunity to do so once the baby is born.. but because it is crucial you iron out any problems between you NOW, since when the baby is born, they will be magnified and hurt you even more (since you will be pushed aside in her life, for the baby)
I didn't want to steal the post so i created a new one.
As it goes, My W and i are getting along great, I know all the details and there has been NC for around a Year. My W and i have taken a large vacation, and she has been very dedicated to the M. She loves to cuddle and other affection.
My unresolved issues are concerning my W breaking down and takeing an active role in fixing her own mistake. For example we have some self help books that i have read and asked her to read and DISCUSS with me. The first one she has been trying to read, but after a few pages she becomes so overcome with guilt that she just starts crying and can't contiue.
She has applogysed and answered any direct questions i have asked. But I don't think she really understands what I am going through, and is stuck in this I'm feeling guilty stage. Before she got preg, she stated she wanted to kill her self (because of guilt). Now she is dedicated, but any reminders she will just start crying uncontrolably, and will start beating her self up for being "stupid". I came accross something from our wedding which was a small trigger for me, so i kinda through it down roughly, she saw that and realized it was because of the A. She cried for two hours, because at that point she relized that our wedding didn't bring on the same happyness as it use to.
Later on she appologysed, but it was for getting upset.
Just recently we found out that she has a Cyst the size of an ostrige egg in her. If she gets put under too much strain she could really hert herself and the baby. Not to mention that she has all the other issues that go along with a prengnancy at 6months.
Back to my unresoved issue. It is that I need her to come to me with informaiting (i can't think of a better word). Rather then me always asking. I have tried to give her ways to do so by discussing the self help books, and other oppertunaties. But It is mostly up to her.
Take out that my W had an A, and I would be the happiest man alive right now and at this point My biggest concern is for my babies, and my W's health. If that means just acceptace opposed to genuine forgiveness, then I am willing to take that (from: "how can i forgive you? by Janis A. Spring).
-bj